what's your favorite sayings/aphorisms?

CelticWanderer

CelticWanderer

New member
so one of my favorite things about traveling is learning new and odd sayings, I'm sure y'all have some good ones so let's hear it!
I'll kick it off with a few of my favorites that I've picked up over the years.

"Its hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire."

"Its comin down harder than a double cunted cow pissin on a flat rock."

"Them dogs do hunt."

"You'd rather try an stick a wet noodle up a wild cats ass than fuck with me."
 
Keep it up and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement, with a straw.

Pretty sure it was a ripoff from the wringer. Makes no friggin sense and thats why I love it.
 
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CelticWanderer said:
"You'd rather try an stick a wet noodle up a wild cats ass than fuck with me."
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In the same spirit i once heard a mobile welder tell someone who wasnt the boss on the jobsite who had bothered him

“You’d sooner jerk off a lion with a handfull of picker briars before you stop me whilst im working again”

*Edited for spacing
 
kIlL a KaRdAsHiAn said:
Keep it up and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement, with a straw.

Pretty sure it was a ripoff from the wringer. Makes no friggin sense and thats why I love it.
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haha, ones that don't make no sense are fun. "A day spent In a well is a day well spent." is one I like that sounds like a proverb but is just dumb nonsense.
 
Long before I started working for the railroad, actually it was my very first job at 18 years old. I worked in a slaughter house/meat packing facility. One day in the break room some of the older guys were discussing new trucks, someone mentioned a specific model and one of the salesman from the office piped up loudly in a Texan sounding accent "I wouldn't shove one of them up my ass if I had room for a whole freight train."

It's certainly not a favorite saying of mine or one that I've ever used but I felt like it might belong here none the less. One that I actually do like, I just heard last night actually. "Shittin in high cotton" meaning to really have it made.
 
Engineer J Lupo said:
Long before I started working for the railroad, actually it was my very first job at 18 years old. I worked in a slaughter house/meat packing facility. One day in the break room some of the older guys were discussing new trucks, someone mentioned a specific model and one of the salesman from the office piped up loudly in a Texan sounding accent "I wouldn't shove one of them up my ass if I had room for a whole freight train."

It's certainly not a favorite saying of mine or one that I've ever used but I felt like it might belong here none the less. One that I actually do like, I just heard last night actually. "Shittin in high cotton" meaning to really have it made.
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what a bizzare thing to say haha. shittin in high cotton is pretty good. I like that one.
 
Once asked an old man how his day was and he replied "If I fell into a barrel of tits, I'd come out sucking my thumb." Never forgot that one. ~ peace
 
Originally a southern french one that I'll try and translate : "you're so slow [doing ____] that we'd have time to kill a donkey by throwing soft figs at it"
 
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