There is Shit Everywhere!

cantcureherpes said:
@Tude ive never been shy about having to shit and when i was drinking heavily and barely eating i was constantly on diahrea watch, like it would go from zero to a problem in less then 30 seconds, ive actually shit my pants in my own bathroom because i couldnt get my belt off fast enough after a real nice week long booze fest. i had gotten through drinking and playing pool at a bar with a friend fine, got into her car and got dropped off at my house and immedietly had to take a dump so i scramble to get the key in the door and haul ass to the shitter but alas, i wasnt fast enough i shit all down my leg and didnt realize until i thought i had managed to dump out my shorts into the bowl while sitting on it that i had so much shit on my legs that when i sat down to shame myself more i was sitting in my own poop. passed out drunk in the bathroom literally face deep in my own crap and woke up to a note from my partner asking me to clean up the "puke" on the toilet...it wasnt puke. it was shit. a few months back i had a similiar encounter with a sneaky shit with the same friend except this time i had her pull over into a alley and wall bombed some poor bastards apt building...had to take off my t shirt to clean up with and when i got home and explained why i was shirtless and smelled like shit to my partner all she could do was laugh. now that i dont drink as much and actually eat food i find that i can hold in a poop for longer then 30 seconds without it ejecting from my anus.

TLDR version; i stopped being a dumbass drunk who lived on big mama sausages and salt and vinegar chips and i stopped shitting my pants.
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cantcureherpes said:
i recently slept at a friend of my now ex partners squat on a couch for a few days drunk and didnt realize we were sleeping in puddles of piss and dried poop. nothing irks me more then sleeping next to shit, clean up after yerself and yer dogs come on!
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Your post is awesome. Just went back and removed the "Stupid" poop pile. Sorry about that!
 
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Haha oh fuck, gross. Okay, I shat myself once while waiting in line at a taco place for the bathroom key. While I was standing there feeling like a tard and smelling like shit, a friend texted me to ask what I was up to. Of course, my answer was, "I'm pooping!". Much later I told her I wasnt actually on a shitter. More recently I had a week long bout of awful butt piss. It started with me letting out a long loud fart while chatting with a friend... but "fart" gushed down my leg what the fuck...Had a long skirt on and I just ran for it so maybe no one noticed.
 
If you want to get revenge on someone, put some poop in their microwave, then turn it on for several minutes, and run away.
 
Why in hell did you get down and sniff it???!!! If it even vaguely seems like it might be poop, it will be avoided!!! Not verified and confirmed!!! LOL
 
Once I thought there was poop on the floor but it was only a severed mouse head. I did not sniff it.
 
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