stuck in the system | Squat the Planet

stuck in the system

WizardBlown

shake hands with beef
Joined
Apr 27, 2018
Messages
19
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12
Location
Portland, Oregon
so i lost my housing maybe 5 or 6 years ago, and had a great time running amok doing some traveling and meeting lots of great and terrible people.
unfortunately i also developed a bad iv meth habit, and as a result racked up several felony charges.
so now im trying to play by the rules, im in an extended rehabilitation center, 6months-1 year
also am on 5 year probation, having about a year down.
not sure why im ranting about this, i know its a result of me being a shitty person and doing burglaries to feed my habits.
also got 2 felony charges for seperate arrests resisting arrest and spitting on pigs faces on top of the burglary shit
my mental health got me kind of blessed in that im on mental health court and basically have all my needs provided.

but still, all i want to do is leave and travel. if i get revoked i have about 2 years left on my sentence, plus post prison supervision, yea thats a thing in oregon, you cant even top out your sentence.
sorry to whine and bitch im just hoping someone says something to help me stick to this, i really hate meth with a passion and just want to stay off it.
i love this site and community and wish you all safe travels
 

MetalBryan

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2018
Messages
329
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884
Location
Kansas City
I'll be the person who says you should stay on the path you know is right for you. I think one thing we all, or most of us anyway, have in common is our discontent with what we have. I know I always want to move on to the next unknowable things. If I traveled back in time 6 months and told myself about how I was living I would have been excited. Now that I've got it, I want something else.

Take a nap. Think about how you want to make your life. If you get a craving drink a glass of water. Maybe it's dumb, but I think of drinking a glass of water like restarting a computer. Fixes most problems and if it doesn't fix your problem at least you hydrated.
 

sevedemanos

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2021
Messages
198
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191
Location
pnw
sometimes i feel like i should try doing drugs just to get all those nice state benefits and the free recovery housing

alcoholism doesnt count as addiction to them so i think i might be doing this all wrong
 

Gin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 17, 2022
Messages
92
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-5
Location
PNW
sometimes i feel like i should try doing drugs just to get all those nice state benefits and the free recovery housing

alcoholism doesnt count as addiction to them so i think i might be doing this all wrong

I won't do it. I haven't done hard drugs since 1986 & I'm not going to say I started back up for housing. It was suggested by Housing to lie, but fuck them. I'm not a statistic dope fiend. Still, again or whatevs.
 
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Spazz

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 14, 2018
Messages
110
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143
Location
Cali, unfortunately.
Just wanting to throw in my 2 cents worth of encouragement here.

Used to make bathtub crank in the '80s and it was no big deal. Then life happened.

Now they call it "crystal meth" and treat heavy users as if they/you were subhuman cockroaches. I read about dead people's crank being laced with fentanyl in the local newspaper.

I hear things in real life that i can't repeat on the internet. I see historical trends.

"Reefer Madness" became "CBD lollipops" in my lifetime. I see racism and classism.

Nobody who swigs as much coffee as i do has any right to judge you, so I'm not. I just hate what excessive use of ANY stimulant can do to any person's mind and I fear for the safety of random strangers.

Stay the course, mate, and stay alive. You made some mistakes in life just like everybody else did. Now we have to live with our choices, share our experiences, and help our neighbours.

You can do this.
 

rivervictor

truth pumpkin
Joined
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
41
Reaction score
42
Location
Eugene, Oregon
Website
www.listeningtothenoiseuntilitmakessense.com
but still, all i want to do is leave and travel. if i get revoked i have about 2 years left on my sentence, plus post prison supervision, yea thats a thing in oregon, you cant even top out your sentence.
sorry to whine and bitch im just hoping someone says something to help me stick to this, i really hate meth with a passion and just want to stay off it.
i love this site and community and wish you all safe travels

you matter--your life matters. please stick with it. I have other friends on mental health diversion who want / need freedom but are stuck in the system. you can do it. I hear it, that you hate meth and don't want to do it anymore. gratitude journaling, ecstatic dance, singing, writing, making art all keep me going. it's not fair what you're enduring. but I believe in you.
 

Daze

Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
8
Reaction score
11
Location
NZ
I'm 7 months off meth, could've been longer if didn't relapse a few times. I'm so proud of you! I had to break up with my ex and ditch friends to stay clean. I go to NA, have a sponsor, it helps. It's still hard but drugs arnt worth it. You're worth more then that life and there's more life can offer than a quick fix. Goodluck. I wish I had more good advice. I wish you peace and happiness deep within yourself.
 

imaginarymax

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
16
Reaction score
28
Location
AZ
Website
linktr.ee
One year ago I went to treatment for meth, was using to avoid suicidal tendencies. After months and months of going through all the recovery ish, structure out tha roof and answering to so so many people, aahhhhhh stuck in the system feels old soquick. GOod on ya for staying off the shit, it's like a festering possessive demon that ate me alive ahaha. The thing about traveling that invigorates me is the consistent opportunity for new experiences and growth. Cultivating a way to keep your curiosity sparked/illuminated in the time you're to stay in one place is what got me through. U got this brotha
 

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