MichiganRob
Member
So pretty much on my way back home to bumfuck michigan on the megabus I made the mistake of thinking that it was going to drop me off somewhere near the Greyhound station in Montgomery alabama. Surprise!! The greyhound station is nowhere near downtown Montgomery and I ended up missing my transfer over to greyhound because I had no idea where I was!! Oh yeah and I was high as Fuck when I got off the bus!!! Thus begins my shitstorm in bumholefuck Montgomery Alabama the most racist un traveler friendly place on Earth!! My story begins at 10pm on December 17 2015.
Ok so i had eaten a candy i got from nola and i was high as Fuck and i smelled like shit cause I hadnt showered in a week and it was 10pm my stupid greyhound didnt leave til 5am so i figure Im just gonna bum around til then. Had no money and no cigs and almost no dry clothes but that didnt really bother me. Anyways its kinda a blur where i slept that night in fact i dont think i even slept because what happened was i was high and next thing i knew i had people like following me from a distance at first i thought i was just hallucinating but no it was a bunch of drunk 50 something locals whispering about me say whos that weird guy stuff like that. Anyways come to think of it i ended up sleeping behind a dumpster.
The next morning looking dirty as fuck and smelling like shit i went back to where the megabus dropped me off thinking that was a logical place to start. I waited until the bus station opened and i went in and asked where the local gas station was since i was starving. She told me cross the highway and so on blah blah I eventually found it after I realized I was never gonna catch that fucking greyhound. Basically i was thinking about just laying down and dying lol after i found out i was gonna be stuck here for x amount of time. So i made it to the gas station and i was crying kinda like really thinking about ending it but i had four bucks and luckily at the super redneck gas station they had really good fried chicken!!!! That made me feel better but i got a ton of dirty looks on account i looked grimey and smelled like a dead body but at that point i didnt really care. So i munch down the chicken really broke now all hope is now gone. So i start walking outside to sorta just explore this dumb town and next thing i know it STARTS RAINING!!! Perfect i think god hates me!!! Also i had ditched my rain gear in NOLA so i ended up getting soaked real bad, next thing i know i see cops driving all around me as if i had earned 4 stars on grand theft auto so i think perfect now JAIL?!!? They never stopped me though so i thought weird, but i was kinda losing my mind at this point like panic mode and some guy at the gas station told me it was gonna rain all day and it did so at this point its getting to be noon and so i see a cop watching me from a distance so i just figure fuck it if i go to jail ill get a shower and a hot meal so i walk up to his cruiser and hes like how can i help you?? I explain my situation and he says he can give me a ride to the greyhound. So im thinking ok this is not so bad....i get in he starts talking about movies asking me if i like donnie darko, and then i look out the window and realize well we are getting pretty far from downtown i start seeing farms and shit out the window....next thing i know we pull up at the greyhound station which is way out on the highway pretty far from anywhere sorta. He drops me off and says hope you like alabama or something so i walk into the greyhound thinking i can charge my phone!!!! Wow things are getting better i think. Wrong. I plug my phone in to try to call my dad in michigan but surprise my smart phone died right there as i plugged it in. Wow kill me now i think....my life is over im gonna die in alabama. Still raining out im like wtf do i do now? So i go outside to look at the rain to distract myself from flipping out but i see a taxi just waiting out there so i go up to him and ask is there a salvation army around here? He says yeah let me give you a ride. Cool i think!!! Im gonna get to take a fucking shower cause at this point im turning psycho from being so dirty. So he drives me there and guess what the lady says she doesnt want to help me because Im wearing a jimi hendrix shirt look like a drug addict blah blah blah. Great the salvation army wont even help me? Now im truly fucked. It was about 3 pm now and luckily it stopped raining so i think i either need to steal food or spange up so i walk back to the gas station.
To make a long story short i guess the cop told the city that there was some 18 year old running around Montgomery (i just look really young im almost thirty tho) so i get to the gas station and a truck pulls up and asks are you hungry? I say yeah. Next thing i know a strictly superbum guy named Don comes up with his inbred girlfriend and says they never do that why are you getting food blah blah blah i say i need help salvation army wont let me in.....long story short we go back to his camp i meet another guy named Red who is straight outta Deliverance and i think am i gonna get killed by these fucking dudes???
Luckily a train kid shows up and he gives me some beer and says he just got off the train says he can get me home in 4 days via train and says the other guys are having trouble figuring out "who i am" so i get sketched and say no dude i will take my chances and bail.
Make the story shorter i ended up taking catnaps in a local park and got to eat food then a random car pulls up. Its like a 2016 lexus. He says where do you need to go what do you need im thinking just take me to the greyhound station cause i dont wanna end up dead in some ditch from Deliverance boy and Don (super freaky dude). He explains there is a truck stop near there i figure good i can beg for money or whatever. He drops me off at the greyhound and i walk to the nearby motel and beg for a room just to take a fucking shower because its about a week and a half now since i fucking took one then guess what as i fail at taht a whole bunch of black guys come up and basically threaten my life saying im gonna get shot (my hair was bleach blonde and i was wearing a jimi hendrix shirt big mistake) anyways i figure ok i need to take a shower need food and need to get the fuck outta Montgomery somehow. So i hatch a plan (only for extreme emergencies) i see the payphone and dial 911 and say some bullshit like the voices are after me im gonna kill myself.
Ambulance shows up they put me on a stretcher outta the corner of my eye i see all those guys scoping me out so i think haha cant get me now fuckers.
Anyways i get to the hospital they throw me in a cell and the kid in the room next to mine was screaming about the bible saying i was Satan and shit next thing i know mr. Doctor comes in and says who are you what is going on i explain im suicidal he says nope you're full of shit where are you even from i say something like waaaah im trying to get home for christmas he says welp fuck you get outta my town im like what? He leaves and i never see him again but the nurse explains that he bought my almost 300 dollar ticket back to michigan and here i am!!! I might just go back to Montgomery some day just to piss them all off. Btw there are TONS of abandoned buildings there too. Homebum for life living in a shit motel with my dad for the moment gonna go buy some gear soon and head to dc
Ok so i had eaten a candy i got from nola and i was high as Fuck and i smelled like shit cause I hadnt showered in a week and it was 10pm my stupid greyhound didnt leave til 5am so i figure Im just gonna bum around til then. Had no money and no cigs and almost no dry clothes but that didnt really bother me. Anyways its kinda a blur where i slept that night in fact i dont think i even slept because what happened was i was high and next thing i knew i had people like following me from a distance at first i thought i was just hallucinating but no it was a bunch of drunk 50 something locals whispering about me say whos that weird guy stuff like that. Anyways come to think of it i ended up sleeping behind a dumpster.
The next morning looking dirty as fuck and smelling like shit i went back to where the megabus dropped me off thinking that was a logical place to start. I waited until the bus station opened and i went in and asked where the local gas station was since i was starving. She told me cross the highway and so on blah blah I eventually found it after I realized I was never gonna catch that fucking greyhound. Basically i was thinking about just laying down and dying lol after i found out i was gonna be stuck here for x amount of time. So i made it to the gas station and i was crying kinda like really thinking about ending it but i had four bucks and luckily at the super redneck gas station they had really good fried chicken!!!! That made me feel better but i got a ton of dirty looks on account i looked grimey and smelled like a dead body but at that point i didnt really care. So i munch down the chicken really broke now all hope is now gone. So i start walking outside to sorta just explore this dumb town and next thing i know it STARTS RAINING!!! Perfect i think god hates me!!! Also i had ditched my rain gear in NOLA so i ended up getting soaked real bad, next thing i know i see cops driving all around me as if i had earned 4 stars on grand theft auto so i think perfect now JAIL?!!? They never stopped me though so i thought weird, but i was kinda losing my mind at this point like panic mode and some guy at the gas station told me it was gonna rain all day and it did so at this point its getting to be noon and so i see a cop watching me from a distance so i just figure fuck it if i go to jail ill get a shower and a hot meal so i walk up to his cruiser and hes like how can i help you?? I explain my situation and he says he can give me a ride to the greyhound. So im thinking ok this is not so bad....i get in he starts talking about movies asking me if i like donnie darko, and then i look out the window and realize well we are getting pretty far from downtown i start seeing farms and shit out the window....next thing i know we pull up at the greyhound station which is way out on the highway pretty far from anywhere sorta. He drops me off and says hope you like alabama or something so i walk into the greyhound thinking i can charge my phone!!!! Wow things are getting better i think. Wrong. I plug my phone in to try to call my dad in michigan but surprise my smart phone died right there as i plugged it in. Wow kill me now i think....my life is over im gonna die in alabama. Still raining out im like wtf do i do now? So i go outside to look at the rain to distract myself from flipping out but i see a taxi just waiting out there so i go up to him and ask is there a salvation army around here? He says yeah let me give you a ride. Cool i think!!! Im gonna get to take a fucking shower cause at this point im turning psycho from being so dirty. So he drives me there and guess what the lady says she doesnt want to help me because Im wearing a jimi hendrix shirt look like a drug addict blah blah blah. Great the salvation army wont even help me? Now im truly fucked. It was about 3 pm now and luckily it stopped raining so i think i either need to steal food or spange up so i walk back to the gas station.
To make a long story short i guess the cop told the city that there was some 18 year old running around Montgomery (i just look really young im almost thirty tho) so i get to the gas station and a truck pulls up and asks are you hungry? I say yeah. Next thing i know a strictly superbum guy named Don comes up with his inbred girlfriend and says they never do that why are you getting food blah blah blah i say i need help salvation army wont let me in.....long story short we go back to his camp i meet another guy named Red who is straight outta Deliverance and i think am i gonna get killed by these fucking dudes???
Luckily a train kid shows up and he gives me some beer and says he just got off the train says he can get me home in 4 days via train and says the other guys are having trouble figuring out "who i am" so i get sketched and say no dude i will take my chances and bail.
Make the story shorter i ended up taking catnaps in a local park and got to eat food then a random car pulls up. Its like a 2016 lexus. He says where do you need to go what do you need im thinking just take me to the greyhound station cause i dont wanna end up dead in some ditch from Deliverance boy and Don (super freaky dude). He explains there is a truck stop near there i figure good i can beg for money or whatever. He drops me off at the greyhound and i walk to the nearby motel and beg for a room just to take a fucking shower because its about a week and a half now since i fucking took one then guess what as i fail at taht a whole bunch of black guys come up and basically threaten my life saying im gonna get shot (my hair was bleach blonde and i was wearing a jimi hendrix shirt big mistake) anyways i figure ok i need to take a shower need food and need to get the fuck outta Montgomery somehow. So i hatch a plan (only for extreme emergencies) i see the payphone and dial 911 and say some bullshit like the voices are after me im gonna kill myself.
Ambulance shows up they put me on a stretcher outta the corner of my eye i see all those guys scoping me out so i think haha cant get me now fuckers.
Anyways i get to the hospital they throw me in a cell and the kid in the room next to mine was screaming about the bible saying i was Satan and shit next thing i know mr. Doctor comes in and says who are you what is going on i explain im suicidal he says nope you're full of shit where are you even from i say something like waaaah im trying to get home for christmas he says welp fuck you get outta my town im like what? He leaves and i never see him again but the nurse explains that he bought my almost 300 dollar ticket back to michigan and here i am!!! I might just go back to Montgomery some day just to piss them all off. Btw there are TONS of abandoned buildings there too. Homebum for life living in a shit motel with my dad for the moment gonna go buy some gear soon and head to dc
