Let's talk EMBARRASSING stories!

Scat

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We all have them. Spill the beans.

I formally refer to mine as the Pie Guy Incident. I was fairly green when this happened, but I still feel awful thinking about it.

So here I am, dirt ass broke in Crescent City, CA on Christmas Eve. Time to fly a sign, yeah? In an attempt to appeal to the yuppies, I spent 50 cents at Walmart on a white poster board instead of dumpstering cardboard. Got my sign ready, complete with a descriptive doodle that took a solid minute to finish. The corners are already taken by this point, so the dude I'm traveling with at the time and I head over to Safeway to fly.

Now I am HUNGRY. Gas money would be cool, but I needed food. A truck stops at the intersection by us, and the guy inside says something with the window up that I can only make out to be, "do you need a ride?" We have a car so I'm like nah. He rolls the window down and repeats, "do you want a pie?"

OH. Well yeah, I want a fucking pie. He gestures to the back where there are two of those giant Safeway apple pies. The dude traveling with me digs into the back, seems hesitant and awkward, takes a pie, and the driver leaves because the light just turned green a second prior.

All's good, right? -heavy exhale- So what actually happened was that my bud fumbled the pie and spilled it all over the back of the truck bed. The light turned green, he panicked, and grabbed the other pie because we were really hungry. He also left the sign that we were flying in the back of the truck. That kindly truck driver was probably on his way to a gathering of sorts, and his compassion seriously backfired on him.

Sign gone, we go back to Walmart to park, eat a small bit of pie, and think. I wanted to make use of the holiday so we went to find something to make a new sign. Gone for nearly all of 10 minutes, we return to find the pie is toast. My little mutt that was only marginally larger than the pie had dug it out of the hiding spot and ate the whole thing. She was bloated as hell. We had plenty of dog food too, just no people food. ):

So anyway, that's the story of how I went hungry, lost my sign, and ruined some stranger's Christmas Eve. What a time to be alive.

What's your most embarrassing story?
 
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