so, it was pridefest 2018, at berkley riverfront park, and i was looking to meet an online friend there, named alice (also a trans woman). i leave the house, ride the bus from 75th all the way to whatever the end of the line is that day (15th street), weave in and around the city market district, and walk the curved bridge and get there at like 11-ish, on saturday, and waiting for the gate to open.
im also texting alice back and forth, trying to meet up. noon rolls around, and i sit down on some big hewn out stone slabs in kind of a strung out gazebo, and i text her again, telling her where im at. after awhile, of wandering to where we each were formerly at, we meet at a grove of shade trees, and i find out that shes a big girl (ie, 6 foot 6 and apparently Very Fluffy, but whatever) whereas im significantly smaller (6 feet even, and well, Not fluffy)
so, we hang out, switching back and forth between wandering up and down the aisles and booths, and hanging out with alice and her friends, deja (a shaved-headed lesbian?) and savannah (a straight ally, there with her bf) in the shade trees grove. after lunch (i had an awesome spicy taco salad with literally everything in the mix, pork steak chicken, all kinds of peppers, lettuce onions tomato, sour cream, cheese... basically The Works) i break out some of my makeup, a purple lipstick and black pencils. and savannah offers to do my makeup for me, so i say 'ok, sure, do it up goth-like'. as savannah is doing my makeup, some older black guy, a father, is trying to get his son (gay, 18-ish) to be more confident.
so, we are talking with the son and his dad, having a fairly good conversation, and we each tell abit about ourselves and our journey towards accepting being LGBT, and striving towards where we are in life today. and i had made mention that this is the first time im wearing real makeup (halloween ledger joker face paint doesn't count, imo)
savannah doing my makeup that day, was significant for me, because, socially, its one thing to take on traits of a group of people, but it's a whole other thing when they gift you the things and status of being in the group, so in my mind, savannah doing my makeup, was her acceptance of me being a woman, trans or otherwise.
it was also fun to buy eachother stuff, i bought them tiara head beads and a flag or two, and they got me trans flag stuff, and i also met a therapist i saw afew times, at one of the booths, and i chatted with her some (miss therapist was pleasantly surprised that i was otherwise in full goth dress) and so, sunset rolls around, and they have to leave and meet up with other people somewhere else, and im left behind to dance awhile. i danced for awhile, but like other pride fests when i went there alone, it kinda sucked from that point, as the sun went down.
once it was dark, i left and walked the curved bridge back into the city, and wandered to and fro, eventually deciding to go back to the bus stop and catch the last one of the night. (a plus; i scavenged a brand spanking new purple hoodie, still had the tag on it. i plan on adding black stripes to it, to goth-ify it.)
i missed the last bus of the night. .... aaand im not gonna lie, i started to freak, because once out of the more immediate downtown area, it was all gangland territory, and black gangbangers well and truly HATE, lgbt folk. i was not about to beg for getting beaten to death, running around in gangland turf, bedecked in trans flag regalia and a dress, gothic white girl that i am, and i was neither none too confident on having an on the spot overnighter in downtown.
fortunately, my lil bro calls and checks on me, and i tell him that i need a ride, and that im at the library fountain, waiting in a bus stop booth. he says hell be there in 20. no sooner do i hang up, than a toothless homeless old black guy, who smells none too fresh (eww) starts accosting me and trying to get old bus slips from me, and general messed up words and drunken screaming at me.
trying to avoid escalating the situation, i do what i can to Not antagonise him, but also praying real hard that my brother gets here, and fighting the ever-more-dominant need to sleep. fortunately, my awake-ness wins out, and my brother arrives with a friend who has a car, and we go home (as shitty as the house is) and endure being musically blased by rap songs, and once home, i eat the rest of the macaroni casserole, before dismounting from my stuff, purse, and clothes, and crashing hard into bed.
im also texting alice back and forth, trying to meet up. noon rolls around, and i sit down on some big hewn out stone slabs in kind of a strung out gazebo, and i text her again, telling her where im at. after awhile, of wandering to where we each were formerly at, we meet at a grove of shade trees, and i find out that shes a big girl (ie, 6 foot 6 and apparently Very Fluffy, but whatever) whereas im significantly smaller (6 feet even, and well, Not fluffy)
so, we hang out, switching back and forth between wandering up and down the aisles and booths, and hanging out with alice and her friends, deja (a shaved-headed lesbian?) and savannah (a straight ally, there with her bf) in the shade trees grove. after lunch (i had an awesome spicy taco salad with literally everything in the mix, pork steak chicken, all kinds of peppers, lettuce onions tomato, sour cream, cheese... basically The Works) i break out some of my makeup, a purple lipstick and black pencils. and savannah offers to do my makeup for me, so i say 'ok, sure, do it up goth-like'. as savannah is doing my makeup, some older black guy, a father, is trying to get his son (gay, 18-ish) to be more confident.
so, we are talking with the son and his dad, having a fairly good conversation, and we each tell abit about ourselves and our journey towards accepting being LGBT, and striving towards where we are in life today. and i had made mention that this is the first time im wearing real makeup (halloween ledger joker face paint doesn't count, imo)
savannah doing my makeup that day, was significant for me, because, socially, its one thing to take on traits of a group of people, but it's a whole other thing when they gift you the things and status of being in the group, so in my mind, savannah doing my makeup, was her acceptance of me being a woman, trans or otherwise.
it was also fun to buy eachother stuff, i bought them tiara head beads and a flag or two, and they got me trans flag stuff, and i also met a therapist i saw afew times, at one of the booths, and i chatted with her some (miss therapist was pleasantly surprised that i was otherwise in full goth dress) and so, sunset rolls around, and they have to leave and meet up with other people somewhere else, and im left behind to dance awhile. i danced for awhile, but like other pride fests when i went there alone, it kinda sucked from that point, as the sun went down.
once it was dark, i left and walked the curved bridge back into the city, and wandered to and fro, eventually deciding to go back to the bus stop and catch the last one of the night. (a plus; i scavenged a brand spanking new purple hoodie, still had the tag on it. i plan on adding black stripes to it, to goth-ify it.)
i missed the last bus of the night. .... aaand im not gonna lie, i started to freak, because once out of the more immediate downtown area, it was all gangland territory, and black gangbangers well and truly HATE, lgbt folk. i was not about to beg for getting beaten to death, running around in gangland turf, bedecked in trans flag regalia and a dress, gothic white girl that i am, and i was neither none too confident on having an on the spot overnighter in downtown.
fortunately, my lil bro calls and checks on me, and i tell him that i need a ride, and that im at the library fountain, waiting in a bus stop booth. he says hell be there in 20. no sooner do i hang up, than a toothless homeless old black guy, who smells none too fresh (eww) starts accosting me and trying to get old bus slips from me, and general messed up words and drunken screaming at me.
trying to avoid escalating the situation, i do what i can to Not antagonise him, but also praying real hard that my brother gets here, and fighting the ever-more-dominant need to sleep. fortunately, my awake-ness wins out, and my brother arrives with a friend who has a car, and we go home (as shitty as the house is) and endure being musically blased by rap songs, and once home, i eat the rest of the macaroni casserole, before dismounting from my stuff, purse, and clothes, and crashing hard into bed.
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