Introduction/Need guidance

[Deleted member 20]

First time on an airplane, leaving the state alone etc. Im nervous for him.

 

[Tick Dickler]

First time on an airplane, leaving the state alone etc. Im nervous for him.

is he trying to get a job or just traveling?

 

[janktoaster]

I remember my first time on an airplane.. I think he will be fine, man

 

[Deleted member 20]

Wel technically both since hes flying 3 thousand miles without a clue as to whats on the other side, no friends,job etc.. But no hes not a traveler, unsure if he has dreams of traveling as in hitching/hopping/wandering but it wouldn't surprise me. Hes trying to land a job in Orange county to pay his rent & just do something.

 

[janktoaster]

Best of luck to him!!

 

[drewski]

Janktoaster, thank you for all that you've said. It feels really good to relate to someone especially when they're the same age as me. You're right about a lot of things. Made me feel pumped for a minute.

The whole not thinking too much and just doing something to fill space is something I feel I can't do. I just feel so stuck and unable to move forward. And maybe it is all me that is stopping myself, but I frequently feel incapable. Applied at a trader joes nearby a couple of weeks ago and the interview went really well. Then I didn't get the job for whatever reason but it's retarded cause I'm more than capable of working a job like that. That's all I've done as far as progress, don't know where the fuck else I can get a job around here and not be miserable. I just don't want to fucking WORK and I don't care what that makes me through the eyes of parents, friends, society, etc.

It's hard when I don't have anything to look forward to. I've never been able to fully support myself with the average wages we receive this day in age and I also don't handle the responsibilities of growing up well at all. It feels really shitty inside everytime I think about that. But I'm just wired that way. Even when I was a little kid man... once I knew how to cheat the school system and cut corners any chance I could I fuckin' did it. Fuck it. All I ever want is to do what I want to do...get through the bullshit and play...but now it feels like I can't even suck it up and have the courage to get through the bullshit even...

Why does it have to be so hard to meet each other's needs in this world while just taking it easy and doing what we want to do? Most of the time I blame the system and the rich. It causes pressure to work harder while most get shittier end of the stick. Why the fuck do we settle for that? I sure as hell don't want to. Maybe I wouldn't even be having this internal issue if I lived in a place where people coexisted and didn't live for themselves?

 

[drewski]

highwayman, your nephew is righteous for doing that. Definitely gotta stay in touch with him and let him know that you're the person to go to for guidance. That's great to be able to share that with family.

 

[Charlie]

Here's some of my experiences:

I tried solving my problems with travel, it didn't work. It wasn't logical because I was running from the problems that exist inside of me, while trying to figure out how to fix the world or how to fit into it. I went home and hit the books, started learning guitar, that lead me to meditation which seemed to help slow my mind down enough to focus on one thing at a time (and I have "ADD", so I grew up thinking I couldn't focus, which is a problem inside of me).

Then at a festival, rather that smoking and drinking with fake friends, I took the initiative to sober up, volunteer pulling noxious weeds and scrubbing dishes at a kitchen. While hanging out with volunteer nurses at the first aid camp, I met a level headed, calm traveler who seemed to have his act straight and enough creativity to travel with nothing but what seemed a rope, blanket, and walking stick. I mentioned my interest in learning meditation and he recommended me to look into Vipassana meditation as they have places that teach it based on donation around the country. I looked into it, was thrilled by the findings of my online research, and signed up to go to a center and learn it for 10 days. It gave me enough insights and tools to allow me to find my way to change myself. It wasn't the answer to my problems, but it put me in the right direction.

Another thing, after a WILD drugged out experience and talking to God or the deepest corner of my conscious or whatever which told me "sober up!" (months before I got into meditation, but after starting learning guitar), I realized I need mental help from an effective professional, and I didn't want to take meds to temporarily ignore my problems. I started seeing a counselor. I've seen psychologists and psychiatrists before and they help a bit, but I don't get results by going to them. Then I started seeing an energy therapist, the first time I saw him, he helped me point out some the biggest dilemmas that I deal with without even getting to know me. He started analyzing the way I react if he approaches me and steps inside my personal space. He would inspect how I breathe (breathing is SOOOO important) and helped me learn to breathe with parts of my body that I never imagined which started to get more vital organs to do their intended functions. He would ask me "What's up?" I would discuss my dilemma, he would ask what I would prefer to have happen, I would describe that, and he would give me simple solutions that make sense to me. He's even stuck me with a few acupuncture needles on occasion. He's not your typical shrink like Frasier Crane, he's more like a shaman or something that deals with chakras and energy flow and very mystical, homeopathic, natural remedies.

Also, I started college so I can get an education that will allow me to create my own job to do what I want, on my terms, the way I want. Guess what I'm studying? Music Theory, electronics, art, communications, everything I find interesting so I can fix ALL of the problems that seem to be in MY way of being HAPPY.


Here's the point I'm getting at:


All that, seems to be working quite well for ME, I'm not 100% happy, but I have a much brighter future than what I used to have. Andrew, I don't know you, or what you're experiencing, or anything about you, but it appears that you have a well functioning conscious mind that can solve problems. If you have problems, identify them, and solve them. It's really not as simple as it may sound. In fact, it could possibly be the most difficult thing you have ever done, and the most worth while series of trials you can face.

Maybe the bottom line is to overcome your own difficulties so that no difficulties remain in your path. You can rid the path of sharp rocks, which hurt your feet. Later, there will be more sharp rocks. What do you do? Wear shoes and get over it.


Here's conclusive experiences of mine:


Just a week ago I was pissed off at everything and everybody. Why? I don't know, lots of reasons. Since then, I realized I was trying to change everything around me, mostly with my words. I was getting even more upset because they would not change, and even more upset because I was getting upset about it. Then I was getting pissed because I was miserable, and then the world still kept coming at me and I was fighting it with ever increasing aggravation. Then my energy therapist helped me realize that it's very important to me that I feel valued, and he helped me realize that I feel valued when I make a positive effect in other people and in my environment. A month ago, I quit my job (tube hill operations at a small ski hill), where I get paid to have fun. At first, I wasn't sure why, but with time it became more obvious that my reason was because I was fed up with EVERYTHING.

Yesterday was my first day back at work and I'm loving it. After work, I came home tired from work as usual, sat down to meditate and as I was trying to focus on breathing, my mind would stray as it usually does. When distracted, I bring my attention back to focusing on breathing, and the subject of distraction tends to diminish and my mind begins to slow down and concentrate. I diminished all of my distractions except one major distraction. As I was meditating, I was very relaxed (physically) and my vocal conscious was almost silent. Yet my visual conscious was imagining little kids sitting in inner tubes passing me by, many of the kids were following the safety rules, thus my vocal conscious remained silent. However, some kids were breaking the rules which prompted learned reactions. These learned reactions would trigger my vocal conscious to react: "Stay sitting in your tube" "No throwing snowballs" "Don't drag your feet". As I continued to consciously react, I became more tense. This was all occurring in my mind, while I was trying to focus on breathing. So I stopped reacting with my vocal conscious and simply watched the tubers pass me by and paid them no attention at all. My focus was again on my breathe, and then the tubers disappeared, and my mind was totally silent, at this point I went from Anapana meditation to Vipassana meditation, almost completed a full body scan, and went to bed.

That meditation was a valuable experience. It showed me that I overreact to things that aren't such a big deal. Then I thought of many situations where I tried to convince others to do what I want them to do, failed, and felt miserable because I believed I was not valued. Then I realized, I cannot change the world through such reactions, but I can accept it and let it be.

Today, I went to work and began to practice this. It's difficult to change my learned reactions, especially when I feel like it's my job to boss kids around. I wasn't able to master it in just one day, but I've got my job back, and it's much easier than it was before. Best part of today, I had the opportunity to snowboard through fresh powder for the first time this winter. I was having so much fun that when I decided to prank a coworker by white washing him with a wall of white fluffy powder, I accidentally buried a little kid in snow (HA!!). Usually, I would feel bad after that and think about what I've done. This time, I accepted it as an oops, let it go, and got on with my day to continue having a blast.


My point:


My experiences of directly confronting my problems is allowing me to come to my own realizations and experiences to create practical solutions for me to have a more comfortable interface as I participate with reality. I see my problems, I fix my problems, my problems go away.

I hope that all of my problems will continue withering away, and I hope yours do too. However, this requires awareness and wisdom. Luckily, these skills can be improved in those who are lacking (like me).


I hope this is helpful.

 

[janktoaster]

"Traveling doesn't get traveling out of your system"

 

[Charlie]

Oh, another idea. VOA and/or WWOOF are some good outlets to do volunteer work for a basic living.