injuries? who's got stories?

Koala

sleeps 22 hours a day, eats chutes and leaves
Well after reading someone who goes to the same uni as me in Florida just got his entire foot blown off by a homemade firework in Central Park today, it got me thinking about injuries and such.

Soon I'll be celebrating ***1 year without a serious injury!!*** Yay! I had a bit of a bad streak for a while.

Tell me about your injuries, surgeries, and recoveries!

Here's brief versions of my stories:

I broke my ankle pretty gnarly in January 2015, my foot was pretty much dangling off my leg. Had to put that shit back together with a bunch of metal. I was just being a dumbass and was running down a hill that was subsequently covered in ice...you get the story. Needless to say once I recovered from that, I never took the ability to walk for granted again! (bimalleolar fracture)

Last summer about this time I fell off a bridge in Sweden. It's a super dumb story including a Swedish boy that I'm not even going to go into but my back was fucked up for a while, I had a concussion, and I shattered my elbow and of course it wasn't going to heal right so had to get that put back together with metal too! My favorite part is that I can have people touch my elbow and actually feel the metal and some of the screws. (Comminuted ulnar fracture)

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There's my ankle, I got those 2 screws removed, except for that broken part haha then I'll have the plate above forever probably. That one has 8 screws.

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And there's my elbow! You can see it's super close to the skin so that's why I'm able to feel it.

Also...**no these don't go off when I go through airport security**!!! :P
 

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I haven't ever gotten anything that bad. There was the time where I fell off of my friend's roof and broke every bone in my left foot. That was about two weeks before I was supposed to start my new job as a girlscout camp counselor. I still did the job, that was an interesting ten weeks.

Then there was another time when I was running through a field all carelessly and I didn't notice a fallen down wooden fence. I still don't know how I managed to do this, but I cut all the way down to my shin bone, and when I finally got it cleaned out by a doctor I had the biggest fucking chunk of wood you can even imagine.

Yeah.. That's all I got. I don't get hurt often.
 
I am 39 and have never been seriously injured or hospitalized yet. I have worked as a grunt (USMC), Ironworker connector, high rise window cleaner, roofer and commercial fisherman not to mention what dangerous stuff i do for fun. I ride a bicycle for transportation in a non bike friendly city. I get hit once in awhile.

Knock on wood cuz i must be doing it right. I have gotten some bumps and bruises like sore ribs, normal little cuts etc. I did hurt my knee skateboarding where I had a bit of pain for a month or so but it went away.
 
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Back maybe 10 months ago when I was going through a rough patch and doing a ton of drugs I found myself blacked out on Xanax and vodka and in my blackout someone decided to hand me 25i nbome. I don't remember much but I came to when someone was carving a triangle into my chest. Then I asked for a crown on the other side of my chest. And another blacked out person totally fucked that up so in the midst of bleeding to death I decided why not do some push-ups. Someone thankfully stopped me and then they decided it was a good idea to superglue the wounds shut. So that happened and then I walked an hour home. Passed out twice from blood loss. Someone slapped me awake and I kept walking both times. Got home. Ripped out the glue. Patched it up and went to bed. Woke up pretty disappointed. Never went to the hospital and surprisingly so I was told, when I got cut I didn't flinch or react at all I was eerily calm the entire time. anyway now I have this.
 

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My worst injuries so far on the road was this year on my Birthday!!
I was driving my moped and had an asshole behind me riding my ass.
Not to mention i'm already doing 50 mph. So I get on the shoulder to let him pass and hit a freshly filled pothole that they didn't think to pat down. SO I started wobbling at 45 mph and went down. I slid across the intersection on the shoulder to the grass.
I got up and tried to walk but my body burned so I hunched over against a bystander's truck. He gave me water and said he had to go because his car wasn't legal. I told him shoots brah, I understand. So I laid there until the ambulance came. Went to the hospital, came home and ate my pain pills and slept. Still haven't paid the bill. Pshh I don't got funds for that!
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I got drunk and was running through the woods, I musta done a weird high speed side ways shimmy and got tore open by a branch.. or barbed wire maybe? I dont really remember, but after that I went to my neighbors cause theyre doctors and just told em' I fell. They gave me butterfly bandaids and I just used those till it healed up. Left a pretty gnalry scar.
My worst injury tho was my second concussion. I was probably like 12 or 13 i dont remember, but i smacked my head ice skating. They should really give out helmets for that >.> anyways, I remeber getting home and walking through the door and next thing i know i'm looking down at myself on the couch just laid out. It was the strangest thing. Then I blacked out again and apparently it took 4 firefighters to hold me down cause I was spazzing the fuck out and thrashing around and shit. Next time I woke up i remember seeing traffic lights from the windows of an ambulance. Then I woke up again but this time i was strapped down to a bed but the whole room was white, All I could see was myself and a white void. I woke again 2 months later. I was in a coma and pretty much brain dead. I had to learn how to walk again. Fun times.
 

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Funny (and kinda shameful) thing, my only actual fracture was my collarbone when I hit some frozen dirt going down a hill on a crazy carpet as a kid. (For southerners, a crazy carpet is a piece of waxed plastic you throw yourself on to slide down on snow with no control whatsoever xD)

But I also cracked one of my ribs while goalkeeping at soccer, got my MCL partially ripped in a The Exploited moshpit, and my kneecap cracked in a moped accident. Some idiot cut me off and I drove straight into his side.

Oh! And Im not sure it counts as an injury, but I got this carved up and branded on my chest:
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First ones are from my car wreck. I was in the passenger seat. Three broken ribs, six fractured vertabre, asperated lungs and a ruptured breast implant (haha I know, the airbags in my 4Runner didn't go off, but mine did...)

That is followed by when my lab tripped me with a wine glass in my hand. The house was a bloodbath and I ended up having to have plastic surgery later to fix my face.

Then my fucked up ankle from stepping off a curb wrong and rolling the shit out of it. Tore all the ligaments.

Facial ones are from bar fights

the arm was me being drunk and on the phone, one of my friends said something and I turned to look at them and ate pavement shortly after.

The knees are from falling while hiking the PCT, while we were in town in Mammoth CA. I was carrying a case of beer and met my fate thanks to a bump in the sidewalk.

The long cut up my thigh was courtesy of sitting down next to my pack when my trekking pole was pointing the wrong way. I superglued that bitch shut and moved on...
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Ok so originally i was wasted and skateboarding naked and fucked myself up and then like 2 weeks later i was trying to hop off a train and it still wasnt healed very much and i skidded on gravel and it tore the shit out of the scab. Not to mention fucked my hip up yet again.[/IMG]
 

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Motorcycle trip, came to an intersection in a town of 1,500 in Wyoming (Greybull) with a bunch of cars parked on either side of the intersection, no stop signs for me or the truck and we didn't see each other until the middle of the intersection. *SMACK* He hit me in the flank and I broke my left shoulder blade 5 ribs, one of which punctured my lung. I also got knocked the fuck out and I briefly remember waking up and knowing I I was fucked....memory flashes....ambulance mri's.....helicopter taking me to a hospital....long story short I was out of the hospital four days later cuz I'm a baller. Morphine drip at the hospital but I refused the pain pills because I know i didn't want another problem. Fast forward 18 months to today...I'm alive.....and it's almost time to hit the road again.....yeeaaah
 
A semi t-boned me in an ice storm. I had a massive brain mess (left side of brain) and skull fracture, broken leg, knee and hip. When I came to in the hospital, I had no idea where I was or how I got there. Didn't even know my name let alone the year or President.


I now know the President's name, it rhymes with Frump. The year is 2017.


I've been at the Slabs, it was an embarrassment about money. I feel I made foes, didn't mean it. Alas.


Never met Matt. He's going to be in Illinois soon, how un-interesting. Illinois. Ugh. I'm in (horrible) Wisconsin and would drive them back to the west but they have a car. Productive. Not like (ahem) others. Me? I'm not productive.
 
These are some pretty crazy stories you guys have!

My worst injury actually left no visible marks. About 2 years ago I got rsi (repetitive strain injury) in my right arm. Was working one day when all of a sudden I noticed my hand was swollen, next day I couldnt move my arm above my head and could hardly move my wrist or fingers. Started doing everything with my left arm and within a week the same thing happened and I was left with basically no arm use. Had to move back home (which was in a different city) and slowly recover, working at first 5 hours a week which even that set my recovery back each time.
Luckily I got a job as a bicycle courier after a year and that helped cos you don't use your arms too much for that job.
 
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26 months on and I just finished a 3 month stint of travelling for the first time since the injury was sustained. Feels so good to be free again! I still have some trouble, I have to be very careful I don't over do it and im still not very strong but its always getting better and I just hope I can get back to pre-injury condition.

It was strange to be practically disabled for so long, made me very depressed for a long time, but ultimately it taught me to look after myself and listen to my body's needs.
 
Among many, one of the most memorable was getting T-boned by a car running a stop sign while I was on my bike. Luckily, I just came out of it with gashes on my face and arms, a permanent lump on my head, a scar along my eye, and a broken radius at my wrist. When I regained consciousness, the first thing I saw was the guy picking up my hat. I thumbs-upped him and said, "Ten points."
 
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