indecision

W

wasted

New member
everywhere i go i seem to be discontent, which drives me to travel, to run away, searching for something i'll never find. i had my own apartment and a job, the goal of starting a band in a bumfuck town to make it better. once that fell apart there was no focus, no purpose. moved back to my dad's and the isolation of the woods drove me back to insanity, so i came back to this bumfuck town of williamsport which is the largest city for miles, although it's population is only 32,000. it's easy to lose perspective here.

i've been bumming around the town, staying on peoples floors, sleeping outside and gettin' rained on, trying to get my feet planted and try to start a band again. i've got this biting wanderlust, this feeling that if i leave this area i could find what i'm looking for, that by staying here i am wasting my time, wasting my youth. but i also have the hope that staying in this town i will find what i'm looking for internally, and not have to travel looking externally. problem is it's a pretty culturally dead town, i've gotta be the one to start this culture. there are maybe 3 or 4 punks, not including me. no venues, nothing fun to do, i always seem depressed and bored and everyone else does too. i've got a job interview at wendy's tonight and it worries me. do i want to plant my feet here?

there's always the road, but i always get caught up in situations that aren't that great, such as being in a strange city at night with nobody around and nothing to do, nowhere to go, no comfort. indecision plagues me.

any advice?
 
i think you'll have much better luck finding what your looking for if you leave and travel. cuase whatever it is it sure aint gonna come to you! get out there and do it. try and prevent yourself from getting in those stickey situations on the road. even though some of them are inevitable.
 
"It's not the destination, it's the journey." Ralph Waldo Emerson

All things come in time. Dude also said something like "Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself". Smart man.
 
and also, you seem to know what your looking for, so it will be alot easier to find when you come across it.
 
Yew have found yourself
Recognizing that yew are where yew are
that when in the isolation of nothing yew find yourself troubled and worried.
sounds like yew've just gotta talk to some people meng,
try volunteering at the local bike shop or something where money isn't given
just exchange for food or board for the night / week

and when yew feel like moving on foward do so!
live in the momment buddy , and i mean that in the highest regard.

Sometimes we wander , other times stand at will
seemingly partner your mind is quite ill

so to me and to yew and to all here around ; remember my friend your feet were always first planted inside the ground
 
get a busking group together, travel the country by hook or by krook, find a place you like, people you love, take over or be taken over or both. exercise to keep your mind focused, and for god sake, (i dont know you) but if you wind up working at wendy's cause you were lazy or indecisive, instead of taking a rare chance on a life of fullfillment or at least self reliance few people even believe possible, i will come to your town and kick your ass. personally, and then well get on a train. i hate to make this my buisness cause its obviously not, but its simple, if your not happy with your life or at least taking steps to get there, you are wasting YOUR time. and you cant kill time without injuring infinity. period.
 
maybe travel to a place with a good music scene and start up a band there. but i think it was well put from banmatt with the quote "It's not the destination, it's the journey." i think youll get a lot out of traveling.
good luck!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top