So, I haven’t done very well at keeping posts up on STP bc I’ve been a little busy just trying to survive and sometimes I look at my phone and want to crush it .
Just my nature w technology.
I left my domestic Hell in Maine April29
Was supposed to bus to Seattle to interview in person to work on a fishing boat in Kodiak Alaska. When I got to Boston cultures collided and my hermetic lifestyle crashed into humanity. I had been living in remote Maine and hadn’t left the property for 5 months. Aside from my children ( I know - it’s killing me too) I never saw anyone - well - their Dad too🤨
I had been horribly depressed for 2 months due to my living circumstances and was going out to our antiquated NewEngland barn daily wishing I knew how to tie a better rope - if you catch my drift. I hit Boston and I literally imploded. Here is was at the bus terminal, wondering where the trains were because I was going to jump in front of one!
I’m not usually this macabre but my life- my marriage had completely died in a sense. I left to literally start over- the sad part is I couldn’t take my kids with me.
Anyway- Boston- I realized I was physically incapable of making it to Seattle.. I met an awesome dude on STP ( no strings / not what some may think)that assures me I could get hired in Cooperstown New York ( baseball hall of fame/Doubleday field/etc) at a historic resort next to the famous GlimmerGlass lake. The one in James Fenimore Cooper’s novel hence Cooperstown- it was established by his father. The guy was nice enough to meet me at the bus stop in Cooperstown and rearranged some things in his home for me to have a room. I was hired at the hotel and I’m sure if you’re reading this your thinking - well what could be so bad about all of this luck having just jumped ship in a fragile state?!
Well, I started having massive panick attacks.Tunnel vision , when people spoke my ears were boxed and voices warbled.. items and objects were distorted.. I broke out in hives.. I went to the hotel the first day and it was an All make kitchen- I’m 4ft 11 and everything was over my head - and the kitchen was stressed already because of Trumps J-1 Visa delays .. they normally had like 20 Jamaicans at that time.
By day 4 of working I felt that I could hurt myself or fall etc due to my panic state. Looking back I see I was in shock from leaving my kids... grieving and everything else that comes from trauma.
I had met this 1 awesome woman , Misty.
I called her and told her I needed to go to the hospital - I really didn’t know what else to do- I had moments where my heart felt like it was going to explode.. she offered me a place for the night saying if I wanted to chill and wait til morning I could. Morning came, still in a state. Similar to that day after dosing when you felt you’d finally gone mad and saw nothing but a black hole( remember?)but it persisted non stop.Misty took me to Basset hospital, the best Cooperstown had to offer. I walked in to the ER and waved the white flag.. and hung my head because I hate Western Medicine esp.. Mental Health practices, — I have always eschewed pills and I knew I’d have to play the game to get out of the psych floor.
The damn doctor judged me instantly... saying I was bi-polar because I had left my kids, boarded a bus and excepted the offer to stay with a “strange “ man..???
I’m trying to tell her it’s all circumstantial but her mind was made, the dye was cast and she prescribed like 8 pills!
I think 4 of them were for counteracting the side affects of the other 4. All poison if you ask me. The hospital experience was stifling but it did give me time to get the reverb out of my head from the few months prior. I met 2 awesome women and we exchanged email addresses. The Mental Health system is broken, we’ve all heard that but it’s also pitted against the patient and geared for —-Surprise- profiting big Pharma- this we already know. I was released into the arms of NewYork state DSS and went thru the motions bc I had no funds and I was not going back to the Hotel or to the dudes house from Cooperstown.
I just needed my own space and boy did I get it. The state put me up in a horror movie motel and I swear the “3rdhand smoke “ was so bad it would’ve killed a canary.
I walked 2 miles from the motel to Main Street -oh this was now in Oneonta NY- and put in some applications. 1 @ a Natural Foods store and then stopped at this place called “ The Yellow Deli”
This place was bad , I mean bad in an awesome way - all timber frame , iron.. copper- like a huge 2 story friendly steampunk deli -their dumbesiter was on a rope/pulley system and they communicated downstairs via this copper funnel system like from the dang playground! This is when my week with the cult began - little did I know.
I asked the guy if they were hiring - oh I forgot to mention - their menu is off the chain- all while Foods- breads made in house- vegan if a person needed it- just amazing.. lots of Matte’ drinks etc..
The dude tells me they don’t hire but I’m welcome to come work with them and I’m like — ooohhhhkay?!
He offered me a drink and to sit at the bar which looked like a Western Tiki bar with leather stool tops and a shingles kick out conicle shape roof - you can pull pictures up online of the Yellow Deli, They spare no expense in these buildings - well they do everything in house w/I what I learned was an Intentional Community. I told the guy I would come back next day and he said “ come to our gathering tonite and eat”
I arrived to their home up the street from the Deli not knowing what to expect,
Wow- culture shift
It was like the Jesus freaks and the Jews had a baby and these people were the descendants. Women with nativity scene headcovers, skirts or gypsy pants, the men all uniform w/ shirts untucked and jeans rolled precisely 2x at the cuff& the clincher were the hemp looking braided headbands. The men all had cropped ponytails and wore the WoodStock headband 24/7. Everyone had been given by someone of authority? a new name when they made a covenant to the community.. here I was writing down names because my WASP type language couldn’t remember: LevRak ,Racheal,Naboth,Alishavan etc etc
Must have been 25 in this particular community, They are all over the work actually and are called 12 tribes . They believe they are bringing about the true church that was talked about in Revelations which I cannot add to atvthis moment - my heads still swim my from my week there. Anyway I shook my tambourine and a trumpet, flute , guitar, singing praises to Yahweh drifted out of a cracked door to their massive wrap around porch. I slowly over the course of a week learned: once in the community no member owns anything of his own - it all goes to the group.They homeschool their children and do not let them read ANY material that isn’t 12 tribes derived or written. Apparently they are such a huge operation they have s printing planting somewhere in the world. They also make soap of all types, and Many food items from farms all around the world. A lot of the items I used at the Yellow Deli were grown by other Communities.
I shared 16 meals and 16 (church) gatherings with them this last week and it was quite the experience!!
I have to say- they had as close to a Utopia as I have ever seen on this earth. I never saw any tension, malice or discontent. In fact , everyone was so damn happy it bothered me! This one guy kept telling me how happy he was that I was there and he hoped I’d stay. But I didn’t.... I could write so much more about the 12 tribes but I don’t want to disrespect them - they housed me for an entire week until I got my plan together-
I’m now headed to Arizona to work for the Summer as I found a job-
The bus trip was pure hell until I hit St Louis - typical East coast uptight stressed out etc etc
I carry with me the echo of a tambourine and am wearing some of the gypsy pants on the bus cause they are so dang comfortable..
Who knows what the West holds but it feels so good to be headed there once again
Every time I pass St Louis I get this feeling of expansion and freedom
Rolling with it
Rolling on
Peace
Just my nature w technology.
I left my domestic Hell in Maine April29
Was supposed to bus to Seattle to interview in person to work on a fishing boat in Kodiak Alaska. When I got to Boston cultures collided and my hermetic lifestyle crashed into humanity. I had been living in remote Maine and hadn’t left the property for 5 months. Aside from my children ( I know - it’s killing me too) I never saw anyone - well - their Dad too🤨
I had been horribly depressed for 2 months due to my living circumstances and was going out to our antiquated NewEngland barn daily wishing I knew how to tie a better rope - if you catch my drift. I hit Boston and I literally imploded. Here is was at the bus terminal, wondering where the trains were because I was going to jump in front of one!
I’m not usually this macabre but my life- my marriage had completely died in a sense. I left to literally start over- the sad part is I couldn’t take my kids with me.
Anyway- Boston- I realized I was physically incapable of making it to Seattle.. I met an awesome dude on STP ( no strings / not what some may think)that assures me I could get hired in Cooperstown New York ( baseball hall of fame/Doubleday field/etc) at a historic resort next to the famous GlimmerGlass lake. The one in James Fenimore Cooper’s novel hence Cooperstown- it was established by his father. The guy was nice enough to meet me at the bus stop in Cooperstown and rearranged some things in his home for me to have a room. I was hired at the hotel and I’m sure if you’re reading this your thinking - well what could be so bad about all of this luck having just jumped ship in a fragile state?!
Well, I started having massive panick attacks.Tunnel vision , when people spoke my ears were boxed and voices warbled.. items and objects were distorted.. I broke out in hives.. I went to the hotel the first day and it was an All make kitchen- I’m 4ft 11 and everything was over my head - and the kitchen was stressed already because of Trumps J-1 Visa delays .. they normally had like 20 Jamaicans at that time.
By day 4 of working I felt that I could hurt myself or fall etc due to my panic state. Looking back I see I was in shock from leaving my kids... grieving and everything else that comes from trauma.
I had met this 1 awesome woman , Misty.
I called her and told her I needed to go to the hospital - I really didn’t know what else to do- I had moments where my heart felt like it was going to explode.. she offered me a place for the night saying if I wanted to chill and wait til morning I could. Morning came, still in a state. Similar to that day after dosing when you felt you’d finally gone mad and saw nothing but a black hole( remember?)but it persisted non stop.Misty took me to Basset hospital, the best Cooperstown had to offer. I walked in to the ER and waved the white flag.. and hung my head because I hate Western Medicine esp.. Mental Health practices, — I have always eschewed pills and I knew I’d have to play the game to get out of the psych floor.
The damn doctor judged me instantly... saying I was bi-polar because I had left my kids, boarded a bus and excepted the offer to stay with a “strange “ man..???
I’m trying to tell her it’s all circumstantial but her mind was made, the dye was cast and she prescribed like 8 pills!
I think 4 of them were for counteracting the side affects of the other 4. All poison if you ask me. The hospital experience was stifling but it did give me time to get the reverb out of my head from the few months prior. I met 2 awesome women and we exchanged email addresses. The Mental Health system is broken, we’ve all heard that but it’s also pitted against the patient and geared for —-Surprise- profiting big Pharma- this we already know. I was released into the arms of NewYork state DSS and went thru the motions bc I had no funds and I was not going back to the Hotel or to the dudes house from Cooperstown.
I just needed my own space and boy did I get it. The state put me up in a horror movie motel and I swear the “3rdhand smoke “ was so bad it would’ve killed a canary.
I walked 2 miles from the motel to Main Street -oh this was now in Oneonta NY- and put in some applications. 1 @ a Natural Foods store and then stopped at this place called “ The Yellow Deli”
This place was bad , I mean bad in an awesome way - all timber frame , iron.. copper- like a huge 2 story friendly steampunk deli -their dumbesiter was on a rope/pulley system and they communicated downstairs via this copper funnel system like from the dang playground! This is when my week with the cult began - little did I know.
I asked the guy if they were hiring - oh I forgot to mention - their menu is off the chain- all while Foods- breads made in house- vegan if a person needed it- just amazing.. lots of Matte’ drinks etc..
The dude tells me they don’t hire but I’m welcome to come work with them and I’m like — ooohhhhkay?!
He offered me a drink and to sit at the bar which looked like a Western Tiki bar with leather stool tops and a shingles kick out conicle shape roof - you can pull pictures up online of the Yellow Deli, They spare no expense in these buildings - well they do everything in house w/I what I learned was an Intentional Community. I told the guy I would come back next day and he said “ come to our gathering tonite and eat”
I arrived to their home up the street from the Deli not knowing what to expect,
Wow- culture shift
It was like the Jesus freaks and the Jews had a baby and these people were the descendants. Women with nativity scene headcovers, skirts or gypsy pants, the men all uniform w/ shirts untucked and jeans rolled precisely 2x at the cuff& the clincher were the hemp looking braided headbands. The men all had cropped ponytails and wore the WoodStock headband 24/7. Everyone had been given by someone of authority? a new name when they made a covenant to the community.. here I was writing down names because my WASP type language couldn’t remember: LevRak ,Racheal,Naboth,Alishavan etc etc
Must have been 25 in this particular community, They are all over the work actually and are called 12 tribes . They believe they are bringing about the true church that was talked about in Revelations which I cannot add to atvthis moment - my heads still swim my from my week there. Anyway I shook my tambourine and a trumpet, flute , guitar, singing praises to Yahweh drifted out of a cracked door to their massive wrap around porch. I slowly over the course of a week learned: once in the community no member owns anything of his own - it all goes to the group.They homeschool their children and do not let them read ANY material that isn’t 12 tribes derived or written. Apparently they are such a huge operation they have s printing planting somewhere in the world. They also make soap of all types, and Many food items from farms all around the world. A lot of the items I used at the Yellow Deli were grown by other Communities.
I shared 16 meals and 16 (church) gatherings with them this last week and it was quite the experience!!
I have to say- they had as close to a Utopia as I have ever seen on this earth. I never saw any tension, malice or discontent. In fact , everyone was so damn happy it bothered me! This one guy kept telling me how happy he was that I was there and he hoped I’d stay. But I didn’t.... I could write so much more about the 12 tribes but I don’t want to disrespect them - they housed me for an entire week until I got my plan together-
I’m now headed to Arizona to work for the Summer as I found a job-
The bus trip was pure hell until I hit St Louis - typical East coast uptight stressed out etc etc
I carry with me the echo of a tambourine and am wearing some of the gypsy pants on the bus cause they are so dang comfortable..
Who knows what the West holds but it feels so good to be headed there once again
Every time I pass St Louis I get this feeling of expansion and freedom
Rolling with it
Rolling on
Peace
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