How to get over a broken heart.

for a guy, the best way to get over a girl,is to get on top of another. no more emo pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!
 
coldsteelrail said:
Here's some very bad advice and perhaps some not so bad advice: Break someone else's heart. Learn to fall in love with yerself. Keep yourself busy busy busy. Turn your love to hate. Don't let yourself wallow, but set yourself time to mourn your loss each day, and then redirect your thoughts other times during the day. You can control your thoughts! It takes practice! Hang out with friends. Friends are key. Not to cry on, but to help keep your mind on someone other than yourself and the loser who dumped you. Broken hearts are part of life. You can't get over a broken heart, it will get over you in time. The pain will subside. It's not going to be so chest gripping and nauseating as the weeks go by. Exercise increases endorphins. Go running, dance, do yoga, do push ups, lift weights. Challenge yourself. Learn something new! Set a goal, and achieve that goal! Volunteer! Go traveling! Give yourself time, and love. Chase away false hope of reconciliation. Recognise that it's better to experience a broken heart now, than later, and feel happy that you have the capacity to feel and give love. Recognise that you need to grieve, and that your feelings are real. Sit with your feelings, and observe how they feel in your body. Visualise your connections to this person (as ropes, cords, or roots), and picture pulling them out, and destroying them. Visualise yourself meeting your lover somewhere and then walking away from them forever. Some people say that picturing you two on opposite ends of a bridge and then bombing the bridge, so you can't reach them, helps. Love will almost always end in a broken heart, that's the way it goes.
Establish regular sleeping patterns. Don't let yourself over sleep, or under sleep.
Spend time in nature. Even if the closest thing to nature you can find is under some crusty bridge, or a patch of weeds in an industrial area. Plant energy is healing. Meditate, even if it's 10 minutes a day. Take deep breaths. Go swimming. Hang out with animals. Smile at old ladies in the street. create art even if you are not an artist. Art can be created using any medium, even dirt. Journal, even if you are not a writer. Journaling is important to monitor your progess and move forward with your thoughts. Create any ritual you can think of with candles, letters, symbols...burying things, burning things, casting things into the wind, or water...anything to either represent saying goodbye, or increasing your strength. Remember you are beautiful. Recognise that this other person does not create you. You are still yourself without them. Force yourself to laugh and smile, even if it's false, and you feel like a deranged monkey. Smiling and laughing creates endorphins and happiness. Don't over do it, or it could backfire. Force yourself to laugh/smile only as a therapy. Do this in private, and don't watch yourself in a mirror, unless your crazy faces help you to laugh. If you feel like shit, acknowledge it, and let yourself cry. Recognise you will go up and down. You will feel good, bad, neutral, angry, inlove, unloved, and good again. Listen to music to help create moods. Wear bright colours, if they don't make you puke...or at least take special care of your appearance. Make sure when you see your reflection, you feel good about yourself. Don't let yourself get dumpy.
Set time to let yourself think of your loss, but don't dwell during other times in the day. Dwelling creates deterioration in the brain, and hinders growth of new neural pathways. Oxytocin is a chemical released in your brain when you feel in love, or when you are obsessed. That's why the two emotions can overlap. Dark Chocolate contains oxytocin also! Eat some dark chocolate! (Just a little). Drink chamomile tea to relax, or mint tea to uplift yourself. Lemon balm tea is stress reducing. St. John's wort tea might help you feel less bummed out. Use aromatherapy. Chose a scent that helps you feel upbeat. Smell is connected to our memories and emotions.
Stay away from coffee, drugs, and alcohol, as tempting as they are.
Acknowledge the good things this person brought to you, even if the best thing they did was remove themselves from your life. Appreciate and feel grateful for what you shared, but remember that everything changes, and what you shared is now the past. Learn from your feelings, so you understand how you will make another person feel when it's your turn to break a heart, and also so you can help your heart heal faster next time your heart is broken.
Give yourself space between relationships so you don't fuck with your healing process, or hurt someone else.
Nurture yourself, and give yourself time. Appreciate the change as something positive, and seize the opportunity to grow and recreate yourself.
Click to expand...

Sounds rather complex. A bottle of Jim Beam usually works for me
 
I do know how you feel ina sense. I dated a guy for about a year and now he has a new girlfriend and it Hurts. My heart aches more than i could imagine knowing hes with somebody else and im alone with nobody. But honestly all you can do is move on. Everyday is a new day full of new experiences.
 
Health really is one of the best ways to get through depression, cardio has helped me a lot with anxiety, eat well, or at least, not too much of anything too crappy. Usually I keep good track of my calories, but after my fast in prison I ate like crazy for a few days now and I keep waking up feeling moody and sick, but after a 30 min run I feel much better. Brew really won't help much, it can go one of two ways and the cards are in the air with every shot/beer.
 
Find the peace of your mind through a trek. Travel to the eastern gateway of the indian spirits. Seek the southern, northern and western gateway. Is the eastern gateway located at the limestone bridge on Mackinac Island? Travel there and speak your question to the the creator spirit of the Anishinaabe, Gitchie Manitowit .The great and good spirit, Chief of all Indians.
Seek out and talk to Rainbow Eagle. Visit the location of the Pacific white sage growing in the wild in early may before the White sage smoke becomes strong in its burning. make and leave a offering of peace to the white sage when you remove some of its leaves. Dry it in a warm dry place. make yourself enough bindles to purify yourself in your travels.
 
L.C. said:
for a guy, the best way to get over a girl,is to get on top of another. no more emo pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!
Click to expand...
if you dont want "emo" maybe you shouldnt open up a thread titled "how to get over a broken heart". just a thought. i know it gives you extra crust points to be a dick to someone who is asking for honest advice, but get over yourself. And that goes for all the dick comments. jeez people have a heart
 
Don't go the self-destructive route, doesn't help at all. What helped me was reading into Buddhism and attachment, actually it was this website:
http://viewonbuddhism.org/attachment.html

maybe it will help ya maybe not everyone is different. I just found that I was getting to attached to the person so it hurt when we parted.

Also time, it does get easier.
 
Widerstand said:
worlds-smallest-violin.jpg
Click to expand...

I LOL'd
 
thisisme said:
if you dont want "emo" maybe you shouldnt open up a thread titled "how to get over a broken heart". just a thought. i know it gives you extra crust points to be a dick to someone who is asking for honest advice, but get over yourself. And that goes for all the dick comments. jeez people have a heart
Click to expand...

A broken heart can be dealt with through mechanical means. Using logic and reason instead of tears. Emotions didn't create the internal combustion engine, nuclear physics, or antibiotics. When emotions solve real problems let me know.
 
five words....

steel reserve high gravity lager

oh and lots of depressive black metal.

oh and i should mention, these things won't alleviate your depression, just make you comfortable in it. try to embrace it without becoming toooooo fucked up and jaded. and if you have to self mutilate, don't cut yourself. heat up a piece of metal till its red hot and gently yet firmly press it against some soft flesh. the rush is similar to that of right when you see the blood mix around in the spike after drawing back, just before you push the plunger in.

oh and did i mention that i give terrible advice?
 
L.C. said:
A broken heart can be dealt with through mechanical means. Using logic and reason instead of tears. Emotions didn't create the internal combustion engine, nuclear physics, or antibiotics. When emotions solve real problems let me know.
Click to expand...
Having emotions is an innate part of being human. well logic and reason are great and good for many things, they dont make it hurt any less when youve just been through a bad break up. i dont think every situations validity, especially an emotional one, can be based on how many logical problems it will solve. Thats kind of irrelevant. Its more about what will help you heal faster? tears can be healing, its a form of physical and emotional release. nothing wrong with that. Not only that but everyone deals with things and heals differently. im not saying the only thing one should do is sit around and feel sorry for themselves and whine about how horrible their life is, but theres a difference between that and owning your emotions. just my two cents. and as far as advice goes id say coldsteelrail is right on.
 
drown thine sorrows in activity. doing things with friends tends to do wonders i'd say. hell it may not seem palpatable soon after a breakup, but getting up and doing cool shit is the best way to meet new people and discover new things that you love.
 
SpacePrincess said:
How do I get over a broken heart?
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
Click to expand...
time, fucking other people. i kind of always hold onto a little heartbreak tho because heartbreak is predicated on remembering and missing the special things about a person, and i think it's fine and even good to hang onto those good things.
 
oh and that's not a dick answer, i really mean it. fuck other people. or just smooch 'em. or just flirt and stay up til the sunrises. or whatever. do the stuff you used to with your ex and remember that you can still do that stuff with other people and your chances for love and happiness still totally exist and enjoy where you are who you're with and the possibilities that surround you. i'm still kind of not over my former partner and we broke up almost 9 months ago, but i am definitely seeing some rad people now and am happy and okay with my life because of seeing other people and knowing that shit is gonna be juuuuuust fine.
 
run. works for me. run away. run from your problems. thats what i do. it works everytime. course i do not suggest leaving town if your still hurting, cuz being lonely in the middle of nowhere/getting over someone is a deadly combo.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top