what's your favorite sayings/aphorisms?

[CelticWanderer]

so one of my favorite things about traveling is learning new and odd sayings, I'm sure y'all have some good ones so let's hear it!
I'll kick it off with a few of my favorites that I've picked up over the years.

"Its hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire."

"Its comin down harder than a double cunted cow pissin on a flat rock."

"Them dogs do hunt."

"You'd rather try an stick a wet noodle up a wild cats ass than fuck with me."

 

[Deleted member 20240]

Keep it up and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement, with a straw.

Pretty sure it was a ripoff from the wringer. Makes no friggin sense and thats why I love it.

 

[roughdraft]

if the pope shits in the wood and no one is around to hear, does it make a sound?

 

[Jackthereaper]

"You'd rather try an stick a wet noodle up a wild cats ass than fuck with me."

In the same spirit i once heard a mobile welder tell someone who wasnt the boss on the jobsite who had bothered him

“You’d sooner jerk off a lion with a handfull of picker briars before you stop me whilst im working again”

*Edited for spacing

 

[Benji91]

"I'm so hungry I'd eat the arse out of a low flying duck"

 

[CelticWanderer]

Keep it up and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement, with a straw.

Pretty sure it was a ripoff from the wringer. Makes no friggin sense and thats why I love it.

haha, ones that don't make no sense are fun. "A day spent In a well is a day well spent." is one I like that sounds like a proverb but is just dumb nonsense.

 

[Benji91]

Oh, and "Dry as a dead dingoes donga". Gotta love country QLD for this sort stuff

 

[Jimmy Beans]

Long before I started working for the railroad, actually it was my very first job at 18 years old. I worked in a slaughter house/meat packing facility. One day in the break room some of the older guys were discussing new trucks, someone mentioned a specific model and one of the salesman from the office piped up loudly in a Texan sounding accent "I wouldn't shove one of them up my ass if I had room for a whole freight train."

It's certainly not a favorite saying of mine or one that I've ever used but I felt like it might belong here none the less. One that I actually do like, I just heard last night actually. "Shittin in high cotton" meaning to really have it made.

 

[CelticWanderer]

Long before I started working for the railroad, actually it was my very first job at 18 years old. I worked in a slaughter house/meat packing facility. One day in the break room some of the older guys were discussing new trucks, someone mentioned a specific model and one of the salesman from the office piped up loudly in a Texan sounding accent "I wouldn't shove one of them up my ass if I had room for a whole freight train."

It's certainly not a favorite saying of mine or one that I've ever used but I felt like it might belong here none the less. One that I actually do like, I just heard last night actually. "Shittin in high cotton" meaning to really have it made.

what a bizzare thing to say haha. shittin in high cotton is pretty good. I like that one.

 

[Desperado Deluxe]

"dont step on your d*ck."

 

[balaperdida]

"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it"

 

[Rufiodies]

It is what it is.

 

[CelticWanderer]

It is what it is.

you don't think it be like that but it do

 

[All Who Wander]

All who wander are not lost... tolken

 

[Deleted member 21429]

Once asked an old man how his day was and he replied "If I fell into a barrel of tits, I'd come out sucking my thumb." Never forgot that one. ~ peace

 

[Chazten]

It’s all water under the fridge

 

[rustyshackleford541]

"does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?"

 

[otch0z]

Originally a southern french one that I'll try and translate : "you're so slow [doing ____] that we'd have time to kill a donkey by throwing soft figs at it"

 

[Thomas Walker]

One of my personal favorites, and an old one I believe:

"You couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel."

 

[Jackthereaper]

“The proof of the pussy is in the fucking”