Preacher
Well-known member
This may end of kind of long, but bear with me through it.
Back in the stone-age of the 80's during my teens and 20's I was a metal-head that smoked a shit-ton of dope, dropping tabs, overdosed on quaaludes. Hung out in the band scene. Only made it out of high-school because it was that or get kicked out. Always looking forward to the keg on the weekend. Always worked since I was 15, though. Didn't get an allowance so, fuck em, I'll get my own money. Moved out at 19 after an argument with my Dad and had an apartment the next day. Never been homeless or lived back there since.
In my late 20's I had gotten fired from working in a rock quarry and couldn't find another job. That and the fact that I was getting a bit burned out from partying. I had been into computers since they had first become retail (remember the Timex Sinclair you oldsters?) so decided to clean myself up and go to school for computers.
Blah, blah, blah that was 1997. Graduated an associates program Magna Cum Laude. Was hired by a software company 6 months before I even graduated. Was making 60k a year with bonuses. Adopted my son. Bought a house. Bought a new car. Living the "American Dream", when......the economy took a dump and I was laid off. Couldn't find a job for a year. Finally found a job making much less money doing technical support at another software company. Kept looking couldn't find anything else that was suitable. Kind of gave up looking. And about 5 years later in 2009....yes Ladies and Gentleman, the economy took a shitstorm again and I again got laid off.
6 months go by. 1 year goes by. 2 years go by before I finally find another job. My house is completely foreclosed on. They are graciously allowing me to continue to live in. So, I'm squatting in my own house. I lost all my savings. I lost all my retirement. I sold or gave away 3/4 of everything I own. I've filed for bankruptcy for the second time in my life. I felt like Id lost all my dignity and self-respect at this point. I felt like a failure.
Now this new job, my current job is with a 'major telecommunications/tv/internet' provider doing phone tech support for businesses. It shouldn't be hard to figure out who it is. It's the worst fucking job I ever had. I've never been cursed at so much in my entire life. Never though I'd be called the Anti-Christ for trying to get someone their internet back. If you knew all the shit I knew about how my company works and how stupid our customers are, you'd be surprised that ANY businesses manages to run on a daily basis. Anyways, don't want to go off on a rant about that. I'm waiting to get fired to get unemployment to hit the road. This should happen next month. We've been planning for quite a while now.
I'm done. I've had enough. I did what society expected of me. I stopped partying. I put on my 'big boy pants' and got serious. FUCK THEM!!! They were wrong. The American Dream is a nightmare and you can't win. My son is on this board and has been on the road before. He's heading back out and I'm going with. When I step out this door I'm done worrying. I'm done planning. I'm done looking for more than one meal a day in my stomach and a safe place to sleep. That's it. Hopefully I'll be able to relearn how to get back in touch with myself and who I was. The me who could REALLY relax. The me who was a fun person to be around. I feel like I'm broken inside and I'm looking for this to put me back in touch with me and the world. The real world.
Not looking for a pity party, it is what it is. And some of you may be like "Fuck you, glad you lost it all you conformist asshole. You're part of the problem." Don't care. Board wants an intro so here it is.
The people I have told about what I'm doing, either they can't grasp it at all or they're like "That's the coolest thing. If I was 15 years younger and didn't have a mortgage I'd be right there with you." or something similar. For the people that can't even begin to wrap their heads around it, I try to put it like this. When I went back to school, If I had instead started a business and it was really great for the first five years, but then hit the toilet, came back a little, hit the toilet again and has been for shit since. Basically, has been shitty and not working for the last ten years. It has been making me miserable and wanting to drive my car into a bridge abutment at least twice a month for the last five years wouldn't you tell me (if you cared about me) that it's time to pack it up? That's it's time to try something else? That I should get out? Well, that's what I'm doing. Right now, society and working a job and 'doing what I'm supposed to do' isn't working for me. It's time to get out and try something new. Completely new. Completely different. As different as going from working for yourself to working for someone else. I'm existing. I need to live.
Back in the stone-age of the 80's during my teens and 20's I was a metal-head that smoked a shit-ton of dope, dropping tabs, overdosed on quaaludes. Hung out in the band scene. Only made it out of high-school because it was that or get kicked out. Always looking forward to the keg on the weekend. Always worked since I was 15, though. Didn't get an allowance so, fuck em, I'll get my own money. Moved out at 19 after an argument with my Dad and had an apartment the next day. Never been homeless or lived back there since.
In my late 20's I had gotten fired from working in a rock quarry and couldn't find another job. That and the fact that I was getting a bit burned out from partying. I had been into computers since they had first become retail (remember the Timex Sinclair you oldsters?) so decided to clean myself up and go to school for computers.
Blah, blah, blah that was 1997. Graduated an associates program Magna Cum Laude. Was hired by a software company 6 months before I even graduated. Was making 60k a year with bonuses. Adopted my son. Bought a house. Bought a new car. Living the "American Dream", when......the economy took a dump and I was laid off. Couldn't find a job for a year. Finally found a job making much less money doing technical support at another software company. Kept looking couldn't find anything else that was suitable. Kind of gave up looking. And about 5 years later in 2009....yes Ladies and Gentleman, the economy took a shitstorm again and I again got laid off.
6 months go by. 1 year goes by. 2 years go by before I finally find another job. My house is completely foreclosed on. They are graciously allowing me to continue to live in. So, I'm squatting in my own house. I lost all my savings. I lost all my retirement. I sold or gave away 3/4 of everything I own. I've filed for bankruptcy for the second time in my life. I felt like Id lost all my dignity and self-respect at this point. I felt like a failure.
Now this new job, my current job is with a 'major telecommunications/tv/internet' provider doing phone tech support for businesses. It shouldn't be hard to figure out who it is. It's the worst fucking job I ever had. I've never been cursed at so much in my entire life. Never though I'd be called the Anti-Christ for trying to get someone their internet back. If you knew all the shit I knew about how my company works and how stupid our customers are, you'd be surprised that ANY businesses manages to run on a daily basis. Anyways, don't want to go off on a rant about that. I'm waiting to get fired to get unemployment to hit the road. This should happen next month. We've been planning for quite a while now.
I'm done. I've had enough. I did what society expected of me. I stopped partying. I put on my 'big boy pants' and got serious. FUCK THEM!!! They were wrong. The American Dream is a nightmare and you can't win. My son is on this board and has been on the road before. He's heading back out and I'm going with. When I step out this door I'm done worrying. I'm done planning. I'm done looking for more than one meal a day in my stomach and a safe place to sleep. That's it. Hopefully I'll be able to relearn how to get back in touch with myself and who I was. The me who could REALLY relax. The me who was a fun person to be around. I feel like I'm broken inside and I'm looking for this to put me back in touch with me and the world. The real world.
Not looking for a pity party, it is what it is. And some of you may be like "Fuck you, glad you lost it all you conformist asshole. You're part of the problem." Don't care. Board wants an intro so here it is.
The people I have told about what I'm doing, either they can't grasp it at all or they're like "That's the coolest thing. If I was 15 years younger and didn't have a mortgage I'd be right there with you." or something similar. For the people that can't even begin to wrap their heads around it, I try to put it like this. When I went back to school, If I had instead started a business and it was really great for the first five years, but then hit the toilet, came back a little, hit the toilet again and has been for shit since. Basically, has been shitty and not working for the last ten years. It has been making me miserable and wanting to drive my car into a bridge abutment at least twice a month for the last five years wouldn't you tell me (if you cared about me) that it's time to pack it up? That's it's time to try something else? That I should get out? Well, that's what I'm doing. Right now, society and working a job and 'doing what I'm supposed to do' isn't working for me. It's time to get out and try something new. Completely new. Completely different. As different as going from working for yourself to working for someone else. I'm existing. I need to live.
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