yayitsducky
Member
My mental health took a nosedive there for about a week. Just got out of the hospital and I'm already itching to roam. Met another fellow vagabond in there, he said he'd keep in touch once he's feeling better, so that kinda gave me hope. Thankfully, my mom is letting me stay with her while I get settled in DTX. Kinda bummed to be back here, it feels like every time I crash I end up back in Texas, the land that wants me dead because I'm trans.
But I'm getting into therapy, hopefully will be a few times a week to speedrun my mental health. Save up some cash to get a truck & trailer, then hit the road again in summer or fall 2022, maybe 2023. Working a crap job at Kroger, feeling so odd adjusting to normie life. "Ducky" is seen as unprofessional, my lime-green hair is unprofessional, everything I am and do is unprofessional. But, I'll play pretend and weather out the winter and hopefully find a decent place in Dallas to rent that won't eat my entire paycheck. (amazing how much money you have when you aren't paying rent!)
Maybe while I'm here I'll save up for a tattoo or some aerial silks classes.
The fallow season is what farmers use to let the soil rest. To let nitrogen replenish, to gain nutrients for the next harvest. This is my fallow season, to nurture myself and not run from my problems. Here's to the bural and growth, to putting down roots and learning to love staying put for a while. To learn to travel not to run from my problems but to run towards new adventures as my whole, stable self.
(Maybe I'll meet up with @Matt Derrick in Austin at some point.
)
Here's to a new year, to fixing my brain, and saving up for a car. 2023, I'll be running away with the circus, hopefully.
Here's to that glorious in-between. Cheers to the fallow season. Let's all take time to grow.
But I'm getting into therapy, hopefully will be a few times a week to speedrun my mental health. Save up some cash to get a truck & trailer, then hit the road again in summer or fall 2022, maybe 2023. Working a crap job at Kroger, feeling so odd adjusting to normie life. "Ducky" is seen as unprofessional, my lime-green hair is unprofessional, everything I am and do is unprofessional. But, I'll play pretend and weather out the winter and hopefully find a decent place in Dallas to rent that won't eat my entire paycheck. (amazing how much money you have when you aren't paying rent!)
Maybe while I'm here I'll save up for a tattoo or some aerial silks classes.
The fallow season is what farmers use to let the soil rest. To let nitrogen replenish, to gain nutrients for the next harvest. This is my fallow season, to nurture myself and not run from my problems. Here's to the bural and growth, to putting down roots and learning to love staying put for a while. To learn to travel not to run from my problems but to run towards new adventures as my whole, stable self.
(Maybe I'll meet up with @Matt Derrick in Austin at some point.
)Here's to a new year, to fixing my brain, and saving up for a car. 2023, I'll be running away with the circus, hopefully.
Here's to that glorious in-between. Cheers to the fallow season. Let's all take time to grow.
