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As for horse shit, he does get the shit kicked out of him regularly.

I wish I could say I was never one of these dumb asses...lessons learned and sobriety earned....On the other hand I never actually thought it was a good idea to hop a train drunk. Being mostly a dumbass I love my dog too much (if not myself) to get on a train drunk. But I definately missed most...

yeah, that might take the cake....but live and learn, right? We all start somewhere.