Your Low moment..

Somhairle

Somhairle

New member
We've all got one.

I usually tell this one with a few pints in me. Or as a way to sniff out the hipsters. See which ones recoil and ask me if I have no self respect.

So I was trying to thumb me a lift. Somewhere in Fiji. And it was hailing.
Car pulls up. Now, like I say, it's hailing. I don't have me a nosey, see if the driver looks a total rocket or what the fuck. I get in the car. Brush the hail balls out of my hair and say me a 'Thanks very much'
I look over.
Your man is naked, bar his pants (underwear or whatever in american).....I always feel like pointing out he was a white antipodean, not that it's singularly relevant.

But sure, he's sound! Nice fella'....we talk about music, bit about punk, cooking.

T Junction:
Your man: Right, I'm going this way (indicates right). You're going this way (indicates left)
The hero of this piece, your narrator: Thanks again (Goes to open door)

Locks go down. Me turns back.

Your man: Now I don't want to fuck you, but, I will pay $200 to watch you tug yourself off.

I haggled with the man, got him up to $300.

Was hard money.....Desperate pun.
Lived like a king for a fucking off that handy (ha) little (oops) job.
 
Shit, I've hit that low and kept on goin'. Though never from a ride. True story, I've not once been solicited while hitchin'. I'm beginning to think I'm not pretty...
 
Awwww, you got the purdiest mouth ive ever seen, come into my van for a second.....This reminded me of the time my crew stopped to get some dumpster goodies. i was walkin around lookin for rims to shine and a trucker says "hey", we get to talkin and finds out we are traveling with a 3 year old, he says "I got this winnie the pooh doll for the kid and you know if you wanna just lay down and get sucked off ill give it to ya, you don't have to do nothin" I instantly teleported outta there as it was just a terrible trade. Truckers are the weirdest species on the planet hands down.
 
truckers really some of my more memorable interactions. I had one take me the whole way from south bristol tn to greensboro pa last year and he wasn't off at all. But I do believe I could do that too. Right fucking on getting him up to 300
 
wouldn't be able to do that even if I wanted to. wouldn't be able to get off

my lowest point was that time I was penniless and living outside in the cold weather and had nothing all day but whiskey with an acquaintance at the bus stop on broadway and john in seattle, wandered off and spewed my guts at another bus stop up the way then passed out for the night with my cheek planted on the icy sidewalk. I don't think it was freezing or I'd have probably lost some digits.
 
Sprouticus said:
Awwww, you got the purdiest mouth ive ever seen, come into my van for a second.....This reminded me of the time my crew stopped to get some dumpster goodies. i was walkin around lookin for rims to shine and a trucker says "hey", we get to talkin and finds out we are traveling with a 3 year old, he says "I got this winnie the pooh doll for the kid and you know if you wanna just lay down and get sucked off ill give it to ya, you don't have to do nothin" I instantly teleported outta there as it was just a terrible trade. Truckers are the weirdest species on the planet hands down.
Click to expand...
Not all truckers are like that man. But i got to admit there is some dirty nasty drivers out there. Thats just sick tho. I think id punched him in his face for good measures lol
 
I do like reading peoples storys though. Ive always been able to get a good laugh on this site when i need it. Cant believe i havent been on here in forever.
 
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