How do you deal with being stressed in traveling groups??

Skidkidfox

Skidkidfox

New member
tdlr; how do you folks deal with stressful situations and people being frustrated with your anxiety while traveling?

Heeeey so the past week ive been like pretty stressed out. Ive been traveling for a few months now after being a depressed homebum for two years between traveling. Ive been mostly in pretty large, always changung groups if like 3-8 people and there have been a few occasions where ive just felt sorta stressed out and have snapped at people a bit. I guess sometimes i just have a hard time feeling like i need to be happy and positive and fun all of the time or else people will get pissed at me. It gets exhausting not being able to just be in a bad mood once and awhile. Everyone seems to be super unsupportive of dealing with my stress. I mean, its no one else's problem but it would just be nice to have a little bit of support every now and then if i feel shitty.
For example:
A few of us went down to Victoria BC to busk for a night and when we rolled into town i had to piss really bad. We couldnt find parking so i jumped out at a light and told them to circle the block and pick me back up. I didnt take any of my shit with me, and it took them like almost an hour to come back. So im sitting there not knowing where i am, where my shit is, where my friends are. I dont have my instruments, or even a sharpie to make a sign or anything. When they came back i was like pretty anxious, almost crying and like got kinda mad at them. I was def a bit harsh and said something like "what the fuck guys ive been sitting here for an hour like what the fuxk happened??" I definitely overreacted but like people have been just being super frustrated with me and bitching at me because of that, saying i have a negative attitude and shit.
It gets super stressful sometimes and i honestly dont know what to do about it.
I feel like everyone expects me to be in a good mood constantly and when im not (which happens sometimes like c'mon) they just get mad at me. My question is, how do you folks deal with stress on the road? What can i do to try and deal with being stressed out in a more constructive way?
 
Just tell people you need a moment; or tell them youre in a foul mood. People need to respect healthful boundaries.
 
voodoochile76 said:
Just tell people you need a moment; or tell them youre in a foul mood. People need to respect healthful boundaries.
Click to expand...
I mean, ive been trying that but i feel like it comes to points where everyone is a little stressed and doesnt really notice boundaries. But that is definitely a better approach than what ive been trying. Im gonna for sure try and keep that in mind before i initiate a confrontation. Thanks!

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People have different cultures, as well, that affect how they treat others. For example, there are some cultures, or subcultures, in which being noisy, obnoxious, belligerent, melodramatic, and pushy are seen as acceptable: a way to get one's needs met.

Sometimes, you'll find, as I did, that one needs to leave one's environment and find the ''right'' subculture. Hence why I live in mountain villages, and not large, crowded urban areas.

Now, this tends to get me in alot of trouble, but I am a firm supporter of various guides to etiquette. What is etiquette, in the end, other than a way to avoid duels?!! :)

Society has devolved into a wretched morass: noisy, obnoxious, and primitive, and it'll get worse soon.

I have to say, I'd encourage people to openly carry sabres again: it would cut down (excuse the pun) on obnoxious behavior quite a bit...

DeBretts is one of the best.

http://www.debretts.com/everyday-etiquette/public-transport-etiquette/

Conte Baldassarre Castiglione.

https://books.google.com/books?id=0g3rL6lyWsYC&hl=en
 
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Pretty much 100% of the times I've gotten with people regularly it has sucked big time. Out here the best thing is short flings and friendships at a distance. There is not enough of the cushioning (money, ones own room, house, etc) that people have indoors in a housed setting to make regular, long term human contact work in an outdoors lifestyle. From what I've seen this applies to most people living out here.

People need lots of space. Social situations also require a bitch to offput all the tension onto as horrible as that sounds I have found it to be true especially in tight and uncomfortable gatherings of people. Sounds like you may be that person right now. I would give being alone a go. For all the loneliness and pain of it I'll say it has worked the best for me out of anything else I've tried in life.
 
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yeah, your tolerance level for people's bs will uhh change as time goes on. kind of a universal thing though for everyone making the passage over the young adult learning rainbow. your folks prolly did that not making their way back round the block shit on purpose and honestly I'd have dumped them for that asap. best of luck finding genuine articles.. they're hard to come by.
 
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Some really good advice guys. While i hate traveling alone, maybe it is a good idea to take some time to myself. Or at the very least travel with people i can keep some distance from at times. Since i posted this, my partner and i have decided to go our seperate ways for a couple weeks to give ourselves some space and while i miss him, its suuuper refreshing. I cant thank you guys enough for making me feel better about this though. I was starting to get pretty down on myself, just thinking i was being a crazy bitch all the time.
 
nah, I can definitely relate to this. I constantly have to remind myself to slow down and relax and this way things become clearer to my mind, and suddenly I don't feel so snappy and react instantly. eating what fuels my body well and staying well hydrated as well as a proper amount of exercise and time in nature, balance between all aspects of my life (traveling, staying in one place, in groups vs alone, etc.) is some things ive learned to try to actively gauge based on how I feel, that traveling has taught me. everyones on their own path and whatnot. I guess all I can think of to say if try to find ways to listen to your mind as clear as possible to see what the best way to move forward is, based on what you value right now and feel passionate about. good luck :)
 
i read the Bible, study things i am interested in, or drink a beer/smoke a cigarette while the breeze blows and think of life to calm down, often. large groups tend to be a bit agitating, even if they are long-time friends. humans are not the most pleasant creatures, no? i wouldn't worry about it too much. peace and love for all
 
I say wild the fuck out if that's what you're feeling. If someone can't handle that, and understand that that's a part of the game when dealing with humans, then they should've stayed at home. Sometimes I get snarly and mean and cantankerous as fuck. Especially if the folks I'm with pulled some shit like ditching me for an hour. Oh no, you don't do that to lil mami without a riot (unless there's a damn good reason). And when you get that riot and you don't understand why, I'm gonna have to say "deuces" and get rollin solo.
In short, it's a matter of rolling with quality motherfucking humans. Not saying you weren't/aren't, just saying that I think that is the key.
 
Yeah, getting ditched for an hour with no idea abut whats going on is definitely good reason to flip out. I wouldve been mad as fuck!!!

Did they tell you why?

To answer your question, I think I would open a book, play music, draw, etc. Basically, find activities where you can be in your own bubble even when you're with people, so you still get your time alone
 
Take a page from Machiavelli, and respond with subtle force when needed.

Level 1 Infraction: Pistol Pete 'forgets' to add the 2 sugars and 2 shots of cream to your Starbucks in the morning, even though he has been a friend for 7 years and KNOWS thats how you take your coffee. This is really passive aggression on PP's part, and you know it.

Consequence: Whisper creepy stuff in Latin whilst staring him straight in the eye. e.g. "Malleus maleficarum"

Level 2 Infraction: Tidepool Jonny and his stank gf, Rhonda, play shitty music all fuckin day and when you tell em to 'get some fucking taste', they respond nastily and Rhonda scratches your sonic youth record on fucking purpose.

Consequence: TJ's pillowcase gets the olde armpit treatment. Rhonda's gets a pinkeye inducing fart.

These are just examples, but my point is to counter resistance with fluidity.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aikido
 
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