So does anyone have any jokes??
- Thread starter drunken marauder
- Start date
a dozen or so light bulb jokes...
how many hippes
crusties
or activists does it take to change a light blub...none they never change anything
how many feminist does it tak... i don't find that funny
how many cops does it tak...can i see yer ID son
how many ravers does it take ta change a light bulb...i don't know but im blowin up can a give me a massage
how many goths
emo kids does it take ta change a light bulb...fuk it let em cry
write poetry in the dark
how many irish men does it take ta change a light bulb...1 ta hold the light bulb and the rest ta drink till the room spins
how many sceenster kids does it take ta change a light bulb...1 the good news they fell off the step stool tryin ta take a pic on thier cell phone for face space or what the hell ever while they were doin it
how many squatters does it take ta change a light bulb...wait wait wait yer squat has electricity and were drinkin in the cold under a bridge
how many hippes
crusties
or activists does it take to change a light blub...none they never change anything
how many feminist does it tak... i don't find that funny
how many cops does it tak...can i see yer ID son
how many ravers does it take ta change a light bulb...i don't know but im blowin up can a give me a massage
how many goths
emo kids does it take ta change a light bulb...fuk it let em cry
write poetry in the dark
how many irish men does it take ta change a light bulb...1 ta hold the light bulb and the rest ta drink till the room spins
how many sceenster kids does it take ta change a light bulb...1 the good news they fell off the step stool tryin ta take a pic on thier cell phone for face space or what the hell ever while they were doin it
how many squatters does it take ta change a light bulb...wait wait wait yer squat has electricity and were drinkin in the cold under a bridge
Good one, have forgotten about this, but somehow i can't shake the feeling that this joke can partialy be true, most of the "real life situation" jokes comes from similair life events. What do you think?
Q.How many cops does it take to shingle a roof?
A.Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Q. when is it appropriate to give a cop a wink and a smile
A. *wink, smile, and pretend you are shooting a gun*
Q.why couldn't the baby walk down the hallway?
A.Because it had a javelin through its neck
A.Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Q. when is it appropriate to give a cop a wink and a smile
A. *wink, smile, and pretend you are shooting a gun*
Q.why couldn't the baby walk down the hallway?
A.Because it had a javelin through its neck
I little tongue-tied boy goes trick-or-treating dressed as a Pirate.
An intellectual answers the door and says, "You look like a Pirate".
The boy says, "Yeah, I a Piwate".
The Intellectual says, "A Pirate's nothing without his Buccaneers. Where's your Buccaneers"?
The boy just looks at him and blinks.
The Intellectual repeats himself, "Where's your Buccaneers, son"?
The boy finally answers, "My buckin ears are on the thide of my buckin head you buckin ath-hole. Where're your buckin eyes"???!!!
An intellectual answers the door and says, "You look like a Pirate".
The boy says, "Yeah, I a Piwate".
The Intellectual says, "A Pirate's nothing without his Buccaneers. Where's your Buccaneers"?
The boy just looks at him and blinks.
The Intellectual repeats himself, "Where's your Buccaneers, son"?
The boy finally answers, "My buckin ears are on the thide of my buckin head you buckin ath-hole. Where're your buckin eyes"???!!!
what do you give a squatter with everything?
anti-biotics
anti-biotics
so a gay guy gives a crusty kid a ride.asks if he wants a drink. he says sure.they go to a bar the gay guy whispers into his ear "do you want a blow job?" the kid kicks the shit out of him and sits down and drinks his beer. the bar tender asks" what did he say?". the kid says"i don't know,sumthin about getting a job".
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two if they're small enough...
Say "Tickle Test" five times as fast as you can.
Q:What's the difference between a crappy golfer and a crappy skydiver?
A: A crappy golfer goes "WHACK! DAMNIT!" and a crappy skydiver goes "DAMNIT! WHACK!"
Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on what you want it turned into...
A: Two if they're small enough...
Say "Tickle Test" five times as fast as you can.
Q:What's the difference between a crappy golfer and a crappy skydiver?
A: A crappy golfer goes "WHACK! DAMNIT!" and a crappy skydiver goes "DAMNIT! WHACK!"
Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on what you want it turned into...
simpletoremember
New member
Q: How many CrimethINC kids does it take to change a light bulb
A: While were sitting on the roof top of the abandoned factory we had been squatting, eating our freshly dumpstered bagels. We stared up at the stars and thought we could change that light bulb or we could change the world
A: While were sitting on the roof top of the abandoned factory we had been squatting, eating our freshly dumpstered bagels. We stared up at the stars and thought we could change that light bulb or we could change the world
okay here's a couple:
Why do gays check out of hotels so early in the morning?
They get their shit packed the night before.
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Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?
She moans with the other.
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Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?
He was looking for a tight seal.
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okay...and here's a nasty one to finish the lot out:
So a guy was eatin this chick out real good. He was goin down on her...goin to town...eatin her out real good when all of a sudden he comes across a piece of corn up in her snatch. He picks it out and keeps going. a little while later, he finds a piece a broccolli...he thinks to himself, "gross", but picks it out and continues. Then, he comes across a piece of carrot and has had enough. He says, "Jeeze, what's the deal? Are you sick or somethin?" "No", she replies, "but the last guy who ate me out sure was."
Lol.
Why do gays check out of hotels so early in the morning?
They get their shit packed the night before.
------------------
Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?
She moans with the other.
------------------
Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?
He was looking for a tight seal.
------------------
okay...and here's a nasty one to finish the lot out:
So a guy was eatin this chick out real good. He was goin down on her...goin to town...eatin her out real good when all of a sudden he comes across a piece of corn up in her snatch. He picks it out and keeps going. a little while later, he finds a piece a broccolli...he thinks to himself, "gross", but picks it out and continues. Then, he comes across a piece of carrot and has had enough. He says, "Jeeze, what's the deal? Are you sick or somethin?" "No", she replies, "but the last guy who ate me out sure was."
Lol.
you might've heard this one
Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today i found $100, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was a lucky day.
to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her.."
The first hobo cuts in,
"Did you get a blow job?"
"Naw, I couldnt find her head but, we fucked all day"
Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today i found $100, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was a lucky day.
to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her.."
The first hobo cuts in,
"Did you get a blow job?"
"Naw, I couldnt find her head but, we fucked all day"
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope
What's another name for a goth girl? A Crow-ho
Why did the submissive cross the road? Because her master told her to.
True Masochist to a True Sadist: Hurt me.
True Sadist to a True Masochist: No.
Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear a sub say to their Master
What's another name for a goth girl? A Crow-ho
Why did the submissive cross the road? Because her master told her to.
True Masochist to a True Sadist: Hurt me.
True Sadist to a True Masochist: No.
Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear a sub say to their Master
- How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put your leather pants in the washer?
- Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!
- Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?
- God, you Dom's think the world should bow before you!
- And just what do you think you are going to do with that paddle?
- Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time, perhaps?
- Spanking? I-THINK-NOT!
- Who died and left you in charge?
- Do your own damn laundry!
- And the #1 thing you will never hear a sub say to their Master...
- What do I look like, your maid?
Attachments
how does a red-neck girl know when her mom is on her period?
her brothers dick tastes funny.
her brothers dick tastes funny.
I will go first...
What is Al Quedas favorite football team?
The new york jets!
Your turn!
What is Al Quedas favorite football team?
The new york jets!
Your turn!
Come on you guys! i know you have more, no way you spent all that time on the road not thinking up super disrespectful jokes for JUST THIS MOMENT!