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  1. Joe Btfsplk

    So does anyone have any jokes??

    Fault.
  2. Joe Btfsplk

    So does anyone have any jokes??

    Mary O'Reilly finds Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband John passed away last night." The priest says, "Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any...
  3. Joe Btfsplk

    Website Updates Squat the Planet will be shutting down at the end of 2023

    Arrowinore and Widerstand could take over. They often kicked me off the site. 2008? Enjoyed StP Matt. Met you a couple times. "I don't hate people, I just feel better when they're not around". (Bukowski) Wore that T-shirt to the 2017 Jambo. Did you ever achieve the Webelos rank? You have the...
  4. Joe Btfsplk

    So does anyone have any jokes??

    LEVELS OF STRESS 4) HIGH: You pick up a hitchhiker, a beautiful young girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car. You take her to the hospital. 3) HIGHER: The hospital says she is pregnant and you are going to be a father. You swiftly deny that. The girl says you are!! 2) and HIGHER: You...
  5. Joe Btfsplk

    So does anyone have any jokes??

    Did you know that six of seven dwarfs aren't happy?
  6. Joe Btfsplk

    Highway tattoo

    From Wikipedia: An offshoot of the FTRA, known as the Blood Bound Railroad Gang, distinguishes themselves by wearing red bandanas, as opposed to the FTRA's black bandanas. In 2011, Gus Melonas, a spokesman for the BNSF, said the "FTRA and associated act of riding and living on the rails have...
  7. Joe Btfsplk

    Jade Brodie and the Backups $$Horse Money$$ Tour 2020

    Good one, Older Than Dirt. Brodiesel, let Jade hear the above Older posted. I think she'd enjoy.
  8. Joe Btfsplk

    Jade Brodie and the Backups $$Horse Money$$ Tour 2020

    Brodiesel: Is your wife familiar with Utah Phillips? I told my wife about your wife's upcoming tour. She asked , "Does Jade know about Utah Phillips?". I had never heard of him. Have you? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utah_Phillips I'd hang around with him.
  9. Joe Btfsplk

    News & Blogs Get Outta Here. Obviously blatant.

    From Wisconsin police department offers to test your meth for coronavirus - https://www.cbs58.com/news/wisconsin-police-department-offers-to-test-your-meth-for-coronavirus MERRILL, Wis. (CBS 58) -- Police in Merrill, Wisconsin are encouraging people to turn in meth so they can check it for the...
  10. Joe Btfsplk

    Be Careful Where You Squat

    Read this from someone who knew him for a few years: https://www.wisn.com/article/milwaukee-bunker-suspect-friend-hes-nice-guy-who-chose-to-live-different-way/29933222 Is he as nutty as portrayed or as normal as a lot of people who embrace a similar lifestyle such as StP'ers? As far as his...
  11. Joe Btfsplk

    Photos Arn's journey (not a literal Journey, sorry) out of his comfort zone

    "The last time I lost a bet, I woke up in jail. " Zinger of a line, I laughed. Yeah, I'm familiar with such.
  12. Joe Btfsplk

    Peeing is like a good book. Once you get started you can't stop.

    I've copied it and read it over and over and over.
  13. Joe Btfsplk

    Peeing is like a good book. Once you get started you can't stop.

    Read this story from a former EMT I saw on Quora, As an EMT, what is a moment that made your jaw drop? - Quora - https://www.quora.com/As-an-EMT-what-is-a-moment-that-made-your-jaw-drop As an EMT, what is a moment that made your jaw drop? Charles Sendicker Charles Sendicker, Firefighter /...
  14. Joe Btfsplk

    The Pornography Thread

    Get ready for angry square responses. You are not polite.
  15. Joe Btfsplk

    The Pornography Thread

    You fags. I had to. Couldn't help it.
  16. Joe Btfsplk

    News & Blogs ‘We knew it was coming:’ ‘Tent City’ residents not surprised to receive notices ordering them out

    https://fox6now.com/2019/10/06/we-knew-it-was-coming-tent-city-residents-not-surprised-to-receive-notices-ordering-them-out Some living in “Tent City” said the notices weren’t a surprise. “It’s a pretty nice place,” said Antwan Lovell Harrison. “People get to live here.” Antwan Lovell...
  17. Joe Btfsplk

    So does anyone have any jokes??

    A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day, enjoying his chance to get some sun. A beautiful woman walks by, stops and says, "You poor man, I'll bet you've never been kissed, have you?" The man has to admit that no, he never has. The beautiful woman bends down and plants...
  18. Joe Btfsplk

    living in the wild spring of 2020

    backpacker420 wrote: "you don't know too much about driving semi. when a driver gets stuck in the snow during a storm you better know how to start a fire with wood shaving and ferrocerium rod or you will freeze to death when your truck runs out of gas" How does a semi run out of gas? Semis use...
  19. Joe Btfsplk

    MIT Physicists Describe a Theoretical Fifth Loko

    "I'm in my own little world in Winnemucca..." I'm nearly two-thousand miles east of you next to Lake Michigan. Plenty of water (I'm familiar with Southwest woes) and I live in an area with a million-plus people. Take that, you yokel. I'm reclusive. I leave and drive anywhere west of the Big...
  20. Joe Btfsplk

    MIT Physicists Describe a Theoretical Fifth Loko

    “What’s the word? Thunderbird. How’s it sold? Good and cold. What’s the jive? Bird’s alive. What’s the price? Thirty twice.” That person who wrote, "A convenience store clerk in Show Low, AZ once told me that only the oldest of stumbling indian drunks from the reservation buy Thunderbird"...
  21. Joe Btfsplk

    MIT Physicists Describe a Theoretical Fifth Loko

    MD 20/20, no way, Night Train all the way! http://www.bumwine.com/nighttrain.html "Don't let the 0.5% less alcohol by volume fool you, the Night Train is all business when it pulls into the station. All aboard to nowhere - woo wooo! The night train runs only one route: sober to stupid with...
  22. Joe Btfsplk

    Cornelius Vango (Kelsey Abeler) should be avoided at all costs

    Slab City motto: "We're all here because we're not all there".
  23. Joe Btfsplk

    Cornelius Vango (Kelsey Abeler) should be avoided at all costs

    Tuesday morning, three-thirty Central Daylight time. All's well, no crabassin' posts. Yet.
  24. Joe Btfsplk

    Event Alienstock -- #StormArea51; who wants to go?

    Matt: If you want to see something quirky in Nevada on your way to Rachel, take a pee break (no one is around) at the junction of Hwys.6 and 95 in Coaldale NV., it's on your way. I posted about it at: https://squattheplanet.com/threads/tavern-sign-in-durango-colorado.6563/#post-56559
  25. Joe Btfsplk

    Blog From a Carny. Very Interesting.

    https://diary-of-a-carny.blogspot.com/2007/ Very harsh at times and hardcore throughout about a carnival worker, his work, his travel. Good read. Snippets: "Jack Kerouac was a self destructive drunk and a good enough writer I think. His book "On the Road" was a fictional story. As a fictional...
  26. Joe Btfsplk

    Another State to OK Marijuana Sales

    Michigan, legal, Illinois to become legal. Wisconsin is getting hemped in but I wouldn't worry about Iowa or Missouri.
  27. Joe Btfsplk

    Another State to OK Marijuana Sales

    Illinois is on the verge of legalizing recreational mota; governor ready to sign the bill; legal in January of 2020. Amen, there is a god.
  28. Joe Btfsplk

    Shittiest hairstyles? -I’m getting a ‘haircut’

    A Sideshow Bob style.
  29. Joe Btfsplk

    Ask me anything about vehicle repair

    "I'm all the way up in the UP of Michigan now and there still over a foot of snow!!" I used to drive truckloads of U.S. Mail from Milwaukee to the Upper Peninsula, the Iron Mountain MI post office, pick up their outbound mail, and stopped in Green Bay WI for a load of religious magazines on the...
  30. Joe Btfsplk

    Hello young people- introducing myself

    Older than Dirt: You made me smile, I think you are the only other person on here that remembers Al Capp. I'll never forget Joe. I run into him frequently. Capp himself was an asshole, conservative thinking and redneck ways.
  31. Joe Btfsplk

    Hello young people- introducing myself

    I'm a month shy of being sixty-seven years old. I was banned from StP by WiderStand and Arrow in Ore on here in 2008. Weird people. Arrow was a huge woman (Girth. She was circus-fat-lady material) with a little girl-kid. They were moderators entrusted by Matt. I didn't like them. Nor they me...
  32. Joe Btfsplk

    The oldest fairy tale known to date

    roughdraft typed: "What if you saw what was a solid descriptipn of a ghost, though? would it just make you question things a bit?" I have no idea. That has never happened, I doubt if it ever will. Fantasy is pretend. Reality is ruder. jimmyf mentioned tithing, giving 10% of what you earn to...
  33. Joe Btfsplk

    Chicago Hot Dog Boner (Horrible Gaffe of Heinz)

    When Andy described the Chicago Dog makeup, he didn't do it fully. A purist demands a Vienna brand all-beef frank, anything else is frowned on. I, like Andy, grew up in the Chicago area. Same towns at times but years apart. He's younger; I am older and wiser. Sheesh, he didn't remember Vienna...
  34. Joe Btfsplk

    The oldest fairy tale known to date

    George Carlin said of religion, "I don't believe in ghosts." I agree.
  35. Joe Btfsplk

    Chicago Hot Dog Boner (Horrible Gaffe of Heinz)

    Matt: Don't know if this post belongs here, move it at your want. The post is mainly for EphemeralStick, he'll enjoy it. Also, I would like to send him a private email and not clutter up StP. I want to know if he would be interested in surprising the Slab City clan; I have an idea of how to...
  36. Joe Btfsplk

    So does anyone have any jokes??

    Woman goes to her psychiatrist 'cause she's having big problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her lots of questions but wasn't getting a clear picture of her problems. So finally he asks, "Do you ever watch your husbands face while you are having sex?" And she says, "Well, yes, I did...
  37. Joe Btfsplk

    So does anyone have any jokes??

    A very holy and spiritual priest dies and is swept up to heaven. St. Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates and says, "Hello Father welcome to heaven! You are very well known here, and as a special reward because you are such a devout man, we're going to grant anything you wish even before we...
  38. Joe Btfsplk

    Found a job traveling in a van

    How is it going with the expedite work? An update would be interesting.
  39. Joe Btfsplk

    Joke

    Ned walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says, "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache." His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies, "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you fucking idiot." And Ned says, "And I think you'll find I wasn't talking to...
  40. Joe Btfsplk

    Ask me anything about vehicle repair

    Coywolf: The blinker fluid joke has been going around for decades. I too was surprised it wasn't commented on immediately. SaltyCrew: Your driving preference. Manual transmission or automatic? I am staunch manual, I can even float the gears up and down on my Mazda 5 mini-minivan; manual, gas...
  41. Joe Btfsplk

    2018 Jamboree 2018 Jambo Rideshare!

    Leo Skinner: Things have changed, I don't know if I'll be headed to the Slabs or not. I'm currently stuck in Grand Island NE. A tractor-trailer on I-80 lost a steel rod off his truck at 75 mph while I was passing him at 80 mph. The rod went through my windshield and by mere inches missed...
  42. Joe Btfsplk

    Found a job traveling in a van

    What you've typed is spot-on. Regulations; ever ongoing. Freedom of driving big trucks is now more microscoped than if you worked in a factory or at a desk job. Penalties can be severe. Then there is weather. Your first winter driving is coming up. There are exciting times in the winter. Black...
  43. Joe Btfsplk

    Found a job traveling in a van

    How about you getting a stright truck with a comfortable sleeper? More opportunity. Surely you've heard of Landstar. If you had a lift-gate and reefer; more opportunities. Wait a minute. Landstar prefers teams. That's a hard decision. Myself, I'd rather be alone
  44. Joe Btfsplk

    2018 Jamboree 2018 Jambo Rideshare!

    Sent you an email using your STP profile address; no reply. Are you still interested? If not, I'd like to try to muster up something on CraigsList or whatever.
  45. Joe Btfsplk

    2018 Jamboree 2018 Jambo Rideshare!

    "Dubuque? That's a suburb of Platteville." I overheard that at a fuel stop and chuckled. I am familiar with driving through Platteville, I mean Dubuque. I cross the Mississippi on the south side via Illinois Hwy. 35, left turn on 151 down to Iowa Hwy. 1. Zip down to Iowa City and Interstate...
  46. Joe Btfsplk

    2018 Jamboree 2018 Jambo Rideshare!

    Midwest to Slabs Milwaukee WI to Iowa City IA. Westbound, all of Iowa on I-80. Nebraska until Kearney. South from Kearney, western Kansas to Raton NM. Raton to Flagstaff AZ then the Slabs. I've driven it often. Takes about forty-five minutes. No nonsense when I motor.
  47. Joe Btfsplk

    Found a job traveling in a van

    Zig: Good going. You have so far adopted a lifestyle others find hardscrabble. Questions. When driving, where do you sleep? I doubt if you are compensated for motels. Cot in the van? Do you have a 12-volt DC food cooler in the van? When I travel, that is a staple. Do you rely on fast food...
  48. Joe Btfsplk

    Found a job traveling in a van

    Zigali, don't let anyone else ride in your working van without Big Boss permission. I've followed your expediter venture, was interested if you agreed with the lifestyle or not. Seemed an initial good fit. Don't get canned for picking up hitchhikers. Doing such can get you into deep misery.
  49. Joe Btfsplk

    Found a job traveling in a van

    Ouch. Good luck.
  50. Joe Btfsplk

    Found a job traveling in a van

    Ahh, good show, you're not ignorant of expediter reality. I just wanted to give you feedback on what to somewhat expect. This could be a good match for you. There will be highs and lows, therefore, the stamina needed. Keep the left door closed, wheels turning and drive on. It is a hard life...