Jesus I have to many shit stories.
So a few years back to make a long story short I half shit myself cause I couldn't find a place downtown to shit away from prying eyes. We just had some really bad Chinese food and by the time I had to go, there where no public wash-rooms available. I ditched my gf when she was in a store cause I had more important fucking missions to deal with and after the cramps got so bad I just couldn't hold it, I had to relieve some pressure.
So 30 minutes later and half a load in my pants I find myself down by the river, where for once there is a little bit of privacy. By now its raining, like it matters, but I find a tree by the bike path, whip my pants down (don't want to look) and grabbing onto a tree for balance, I lean back and do what I gotta do. I FINALLY get some relief. It felt like the scene in "Shaw Shank Redemption" when he finally breaks out.
Only as I'm hanging there, ass out, I hear a dog coming along the bike path and sniffing around, and he's going to walk, I shit you not, within a meter of me. As they come closer I see its this yuppy guy walking a little Jack Russell Terrier, you know the fucking mouthy kind. I just remember hanging there in the rain staring at this dog right in the eyes, praying to GOD he didn't notice me and start barking. Thankfully he didn't, and they just walk by oblivious to the fact that only a meter away in the shadows I hung with my ass out and pants loaded. Let me tell you, pulling my half full, rain soak pants back on afterwards, was easily one of the worse sensations to date.