Ande1968
Active member
We all have a story as to why or how we got here. I am lost and not sure how to find myself. I am here to see about direction and or directions.
I admit that I have been brainwashed by consumerism. We work to buy. we work to increase our position in the class/caste system of our self created capitalist/democratic society.
While participating in this system or system's I have lost the ability to hold a meaningful conversation. I have been the motivator/leader/mentor, I have lost the ability to see, hear, taste and feel the true meanings of life.
I am not suffering from a mid-life crisis however I am suffering. I have lost the ability to effectively live/love.
My heart tells me to not walk; but to run and rage against the night however my mind tells me to get back in the cage and make the wheel move some more. Build the need for someone else to want what i have without every listening to what they need.
I don't want anyone to feel my emptiness.
I have only know happiness by giving to others and then manipulating there mind/body and soul into giving it back in other forms.
How do I stop this cycle, we are all manipulators how do I break the cycle and be honest with who I am and what I have created.
I don't need to walk into the wild to be alone, I know alone and being in the forest will do nothing to help me be more alone.
How do I learn to listen.
I want to listen to my heart, i want to override my desire to be more than i am and live with satisfaction/fullness that i am.
If i could I would go back and tell myself to take the other road, we can not alter our past, we can only forgive our decisions and recover. I am here now. How to I get from here to where I want to be.
I am not looking for solace in another, i want to re-learn my senses, I have destroyed what made me "me".
I can't hear
I can't see
I can't smell
I can't feel
I can't taste
I can't feel love
What do I do to shed the numbness of my life.
The mesa, the slabs, the rails, the locations are limitless?
Don't say leave it, walk away, no one leaves everything.
I am willing to go limitless.
I know lonely, I have no one.
They can not hear me and I can not hear them.........I am lonely, I am lost, I have everything, I have nothing.
a muse, for a life - save one; here
I crave, I desire, I beg for freedom from my chains.
This is who I am. This is my introduction.
I admit that I have been brainwashed by consumerism. We work to buy. we work to increase our position in the class/caste system of our self created capitalist/democratic society.
While participating in this system or system's I have lost the ability to hold a meaningful conversation. I have been the motivator/leader/mentor, I have lost the ability to see, hear, taste and feel the true meanings of life.
I am not suffering from a mid-life crisis however I am suffering. I have lost the ability to effectively live/love.
My heart tells me to not walk; but to run and rage against the night however my mind tells me to get back in the cage and make the wheel move some more. Build the need for someone else to want what i have without every listening to what they need.
I don't want anyone to feel my emptiness.
I have only know happiness by giving to others and then manipulating there mind/body and soul into giving it back in other forms.
How do I stop this cycle, we are all manipulators how do I break the cycle and be honest with who I am and what I have created.
I don't need to walk into the wild to be alone, I know alone and being in the forest will do nothing to help me be more alone.
How do I learn to listen.
I want to listen to my heart, i want to override my desire to be more than i am and live with satisfaction/fullness that i am.
If i could I would go back and tell myself to take the other road, we can not alter our past, we can only forgive our decisions and recover. I am here now. How to I get from here to where I want to be.
I am not looking for solace in another, i want to re-learn my senses, I have destroyed what made me "me".
I can't hear
I can't see
I can't smell
I can't feel
I can't taste
I can't feel love
What do I do to shed the numbness of my life.
The mesa, the slabs, the rails, the locations are limitless?
Don't say leave it, walk away, no one leaves everything.
I am willing to go limitless.
I know lonely, I have no one.
They can not hear me and I can not hear them.........I am lonely, I am lost, I have everything, I have nothing.
a muse, for a life - save one; here
I crave, I desire, I beg for freedom from my chains.
This is who I am. This is my introduction.