Any advice for a queer kid hitching solo?

[Eddie Currant]

I'm starting from Florida, going to try to make it to Nevada by this time next year. As a lady-bodied queer flying alone, there's always that paranoia of getting picked up by zealots or loons and getting raped or killed (the media has ruined my imagination, apologies). I feel like a lot of hitching is common sense shit and gut feelings, but the cliches still freak me out.

Has anyone had any seemingly-stereotyped negative experiences, or has it been pretty neutral for the most part? Also, any advice is appreciated.

 

[Pepin]

I don't have much advice, but why are you traveling alone? No matter your sexual orientation, it is always the smarter/safer idea to travel with a roaddog.

 

[Joni]

I'm starting from Florida, going to try to make it to Nevada by this time next year. As a lady-bodied queer flying alone, there's always that paranoia of getting picked up by zealots or loons and getting raped or killed (the media has ruined my imagination, apologies). I feel like a lot of hitching is common sense shit and gut feelings, but the cliches still freak me out.

Has anyone had any seemingly-stereotyped negative experiences, or has it been pretty neutral for the most part? Also, any advice is appreciated.

i would say follow the same rules for women if you a fem gay. if you are "the furry type"/masculine well then just hide it the best you can and follow your gut feelings. its all about blending in when needed.

 

[benjysirois]

You're making yourself vulnerable by being on the road. If you're not ready to face the possibility of a threatening experience then don't do it. That being said, just use your wits and your gut as you mentioned. And don't travel by night!

That vulnerability is half the feeling for me anyways. It gives me a lot of hope and trust in people when you get a great couple of folks that pick you up on the road. Remember, that drivers are often just as freaked out about a stranger hopping into their vehicle as you are of hopping into their van.

Out of all the rides I got over the past season of travelling, I only had one ride where I felt threatened and I managed to talk my way out of it.

I think you'll be fine! Best of luck in your travels.

 

[Joni]

well put! i agree that it doesn't matter who you are your just as vulnerable as the next person. your kinda putting yourself out there saying 'hi, here i am! could you help me out?' on the flip side of the coin you have the opportunity for some really kewl experiences.

 

[Eddie Currant]

i would say follow the same rules for women if you a fem gay. if you are "the furry type"/masculine well then just hide it the best you can and follow your gut feelings. its all about blending in when needed.

"Rules for women"?

 

[Eddie Currant]

You're making yourself vulnerable by being on the road. If you're not ready to face the possibility of a threatening experience then don't do it. That being said, just use your wits and your gut as you mentioned. And don't travel by night!

That vulnerability is half the feeling for me anyways. It gives me a lot of hope and trust in people when you get a great couple of folks that pick you up on the road. Remember, that drivers are often just as freaked out about a stranger hopping into their vehicle as you are of hopping into their van.

Out of all the rides I got over the past season of travelling, I only had one ride where I felt threatened and I managed to talk my way out of it.

I think you'll be fine! Best of luck in your travels.

Thank you so much! This made me feel like 900% better, ahaha. ^_^

 

[iamwhatiam]

pepper spray?

 

[Joni]

"Rules for women"?

1.well first off i would never take a ride from a dude without talking to him for a minute in order to figure out if he wants you or just to help out or both. this goes for most rides but some can be really messed up.

For example, caught a ride with a beer drinking, pot smoking, meth snorting truck driver once. (never again) we made killer time in that chicken truck hauling bone meal. new mexico to west Memphis in an evening. taking shifts sleeping while traveling with a friend to keep an eye on the driver. we got the ride over the CB in the middle of the night.

2. the whole no travel by night as previously stated is probably a good idea. unless you have a ride already going strait thru. (i probably would stay awake the whole time so i wouldn't wake in some strange place.)
3. never go into sketchy areas without someone you trust. ie travel in a group.
4. it is better to hitch/hop with another female or male than alone for safety sake. two females never have any troubles hitching rides usually. esp. if they are hot/cute/etc. etc.
5.be on guard to defend yourself. there are haters/abusers out there.....
6. probably have a phone to call for help.

gosh there are tons more that i can't think of right now. Those are some of the ones that i think are most important. i am sure someone out there is willing to add to the list and/or correct me. there is alot of information via Google about traveling ideas to stay safe for women. its a whole different ball game for women travelling via backpack vs men.

 

[Eddie Currant]

Yeah, that's what I was really lookin' for. Because it's not a matter of my sexual orientation, like Pepin was wondering. It's that I'm a genderfucked person with a vagina. When comes closer to time to leave, I'll probably try to partner up with somebody, though. This is just in case I ended up by myself, I guess?
And you're right, it's 100% different if you've got a vag (just like most things).
You guys are awesome helpful, wow. I appreciate it. ^^

 

[dprogram]

All of the above advice sounds great. Pepper spray...large knife in plain view on the hip is good too.

 

[Joni]

Yeah, that's what I was really lookin' for. Because it's not a matter of my sexual orientation, like Pepin was wondering. It's that I'm a genderfucked person with a vagina. When comes closer to time to leave, I'll probably try to partner up with somebody, though. This is just in case I ended up by myself, I guess?
And you're right, it's 100% different if you've got a vag (just like most things).
You guys are awesome helpful, wow. I appreciate it. ^^

honestly it really doesn't matter what parts you have its who you are. as in weather or not you are more feminine vs masculine. this is because when a person looks and interacts with you they really subconsciously want to place you in one or the other in a binary gender role. In that instant you are sized up as a person weather or not you can be dominated, are equal, or your stronger. yes its messed up but ya go with what ya got. if you got it flaunt it as they say. but while on the road i would dial the fem back a bit until you got somewhere you felt safe. seriously you could have a vag and totally be a bad ass and kick dudes asses for fun. some gay men i have met run away from spiders and are very submissive but they have a penis. i could go on and on...... blah... :/ not my point...... anyway....

just trying to say that if your a more fem submissive type there is a few extra precautions that you should probably take traveling.

hope this is useful....
-joni

 

[Eddie Currant]

honestly it really doesn't matter what parts you have its who you are. as in weather or not you are more feminine vs masculine. this is because when a person looks and interacts with you they really subconsciously want to place you in one or the other in a binary gender role. In that instant you are sized up as a person weather or not you can be dominated, are equal, or your stronger. yes its messed up but ya go with what ya got. if you got it flaunt it as they say. but while on the road i would dial the fem back a bit until you got somewhere you felt safe. seriously you could have a vag and totally be a bad ass and kick dudes asses for fun. some gay men i have met run away from spiders and are very submissive but they have a penis. i could go on and on...... blah... :/ not my point...... anyway....

just trying to say that if your a more fem submissive type there is a few extra precautions that you should probably take traveling.

hope this is useful....
-joni

Oh, I got what you're saying. ^^"
Thank you so much.

 

[duckbilledplatypus]

I hitched alone and during the night and had some idiotic men thinking giving me a ride means that I will give them a 'ride' as well. Never had a threatening moment though. When I feel uncomfortable I sometimes get out my knive and cut my fingernails with it (and of course I always say I have a boyfriend if they ask)
my friends a female too and she's been hitching for years and only once had a problem where she had to use her pepperspray.

I think having a pepperspray is better than knive (though I always forget to buy one) bec if you have a knive you have to be sure that you will be able to use it, because hesitation or showing by facial or physical expression that you won't be able to use it could bring you into more trouble. And pepperspray also is better if you would have to go to court or something.
Also (what I never do cause I am stupid) it's a good thing to keep your bag close and don't put it into the car trunk.

 

[Endy]

Trust your instincts above all else, even if it's raining or shitty out.

 

[sar]

hey my queer ass needs a partner in crime! trying to get west , perhaps we can like not get beat up together?

 

[Joni]

hey my queer ass needs a partner in crime! trying to get west , perhaps we can like not get beat up together?

you may want to post that in seeking ride.

 

[whatisthatradio]

good information to know! any reason you're heading to Vegas? that's where I'm at right now (I'm actually trying to get out of here within the following months though lol)
I've only bounced back from Vegas to California and Vegas to Utah...but both times I managed to use my resources.
Getting in touch with any LGBTQIA communites in cities can really help.
(I also used cellphone apps like Grindr/POF to get in touch with other queers. A lot of the time they happily offered me a place to sleep or hangout for a little bit

 

[TheUndeadPhoenix]

[quote="Eddie Currant, post: 134415, member: 7733" there's always that paranoia of getting picked up by zealots or loons and getting raped or killed (the media has ruined my imagination, apologies).[/quote]
Actually, that's not the case. There's actually loads of fuckers out there that would do just this. Usually they don't pick up hitch hikers, though. However, if you can disguise your voice, you're alot better off in the south. The Klan has been known to pick up white hitch hikers quite often
I do know alot of kids on the road that are homosexual and they never have had problems like you're thinking of. Just take it easy and carry pepper spray and/or a knife to ease your paranoia (I'm still paranoid myself after almost 3 years of doing this and I'm heterosexual.)

 

[TheUndeadPhoenix]

large knife in plain view on the hip is good too.

Not always. you could attract the wrong kind of attention with this and have no rides come through.

Always check local knife laws with the police. Just ask them, "What is the legal blade size here?"

IF you are carrying an illegal knife: Say thank you officer and walk away somewhere like a bathroom. Put your blade in your pack. If you do get searched and its in the main pocket of your bag, they won't bother you about it. Also ask about pepper spray. Same as last, if its illegal, put it in your bag. If you have a small enough bag, ride with it in your lap or on your legs.