what's your favorite sayings/aphorisms?

CelticWanderer

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so one of my favorite things about traveling is learning new and odd sayings, I'm sure y'all have some good ones so let's hear it!
I'll kick it off with a few of my favorites that I've picked up over the years.

"Its hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire."

"Its comin down harder than a double cunted cow pissin on a flat rock."

"Them dogs do hunt."

"You'd rather try an stick a wet noodle up a wild cats ass than fuck with me."
 
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wISDOMiZdUm

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Keep it up and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement, with a straw.

Pretty sure it was a ripoff from the wringer. Makes no friggin sense and thats why I love it.
 
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roughdraft

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if the pope shits in the wood and no one is around to hear, does it make a sound?
 

Jackthereaper

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"You'd rather try an stick a wet noodle up a wild cats ass than fuck with me."
In the same spirit i once heard a mobile welder tell someone who wasnt the boss on the jobsite who had bothered him

“You’d sooner jerk off a lion with a handfull of picker briars before you stop me whilst im working again”

*Edited for spacing
 
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CelticWanderer

CelticWanderer

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Keep it up and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement, with a straw.

Pretty sure it was a ripoff from the wringer. Makes no friggin sense and thats why I love it.
haha, ones that don't make no sense are fun. "A day spent In a well is a day well spent." is one I like that sounds like a proverb but is just dumb nonsense.
 

Engineer J Lupo

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Long before I started working for the railroad, actually it was my very first job at 18 years old. I worked in a slaughter house/meat packing facility. One day in the break room some of the older guys were discussing new trucks, someone mentioned a specific model and one of the salesman from the office piped up loudly in a Texan sounding accent "I wouldn't shove one of them up my ass if I had room for a whole freight train."

It's certainly not a favorite saying of mine or one that I've ever used but I felt like it might belong here none the less. One that I actually do like, I just heard last night actually. "Shittin in high cotton" meaning to really have it made.
 
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CelticWanderer

CelticWanderer

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Age
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Current Location
Augusta GA, USA
Long before I started working for the railroad, actually it was my very first job at 18 years old. I worked in a slaughter house/meat packing facility. One day in the break room some of the older guys were discussing new trucks, someone mentioned a specific model and one of the salesman from the office piped up loudly in a Texan sounding accent "I wouldn't shove one of them up my ass if I had room for a whole freight train."

It's certainly not a favorite saying of mine or one that I've ever used but I felt like it might belong here none the less. One that I actually do like, I just heard last night actually. "Shittin in high cotton" meaning to really have it made.
what a bizzare thing to say haha. shittin in high cotton is pretty good. I like that one.
 

otch0z

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Originally a southern french one that I'll try and translate : "you're so slow [doing ____] that we'd have time to kill a donkey by throwing soft figs at it"
 

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