What the shitttttt, need advice on where to hide money/valuables....

[Everymanalion]

Basically I got fucked over at a border crossing in Mexico and the customs bastard stole over $100 cash from me. I cannot be the only one on here who does not have a bank account(I travel out of the country A LOT and the ATM fees are fuckin' insane) so now I need some ideas on where to hide cash/valuables.....I am not a tourist so I am not going to get some retarded money belt that thieves already know I have on anyways so does anyone have anymore ingenious ideas/places?

 

[zephyr23]

when ever i travel or go to a protest i put some money in my shoes i even sleep with them on if i have to. I also made secret pockets it my clothes

 

[schmutz]

I was gonna say the same thing...sew it into your clothes

Also, if you get ahold of a crap old cell phone you can unscrew the back plate hollow out the guts and screw the plate back on. No one wants to steal some old phone off you so it works well

 

[LeftCoast]

The ultimate way to stash money is inside of your body. Call me a jailbird, but seriously... it works. If you are sincerely worried about money, that badly... you do have options. At first when I heard about it, I was flabbergasted. And I would rather utilize security than lose my earnings. Debit cards and shit can be stolen quite easy. I have folded money and hid it in my dreads before by sewing it. You can also roll up to 10 bills to be quite small. You can seal money with plastic and lubricate it like a suppository. It's the only way you can know that you will not be nicked. I mean, you would know if someone was tampering with your dreads or your asshole. Yeah it sounds crazy, but if you can't provide yourself security... it's just a thought. If you have had hemorrhoids before and taken preparation h suppositories you wouldn't have a problem with it. Also, reminds me I need to sew myself a new buttflap. Also, smuggling in money to other nations without documentation is a federal offense. Exercise extreme caution when involving yourself with money. Also, getting in and out of Mexico is way easier than you think. You don't have to do it by the books. It's less of an offense to sneak in and out then it is to smuggle money.

 

[LeftCoast]

If you are going to sew it into your clothes I recommend do it where the surger was used. Like inseam of denim, the collar of a shirt. also you can iron them out and fold them in half and sew false pocket panels on the rear of pants. Just some ideas.

 

[cport420]

thin silk like sun glass bag aka nut bag with a safety pin. You could hide a quite a few bills with ease.

 

[wokofshame]

yeah i would go with sewing it, next to a seam like leftcoast reccomends.
I had a bunch of 50s beneath my insoles once and was travelling thru the desert, checked on the bills a week later and they were all torn up and barely readable.
sand and gravel had torn them all up to pieces.
took me a month to pass them all off, the bank wouldn't take them they were so fucked up.

 

[NihilisticNihilist]

I always cut a hole on the inside of my pants and place whatever cash I have inside the hole, that way it's not in a pocket and if you get shaken down they aren't going to find a way to get to it unless they take your pants off and put them inside out.

 

[iamwhatiam]

i've never used them but.....travelers checks?

 

[WanderLost Radical]

Basically I got fucked over at a border crossing in Mexico and the customs bastard stole over $100 cash from me. I cannot be the only one on here who does not have a bank account(I travel out of the country A LOT and the ATM fees are fuckin' insane) so now I need some ideas on where to hide cash/valuables.....I am not a tourist so I am not going to get some retarded money belt that thieves already know I have on anyways so does anyone have anymore ingenious ideas/places?

For me, the money belt is mostly for keeping my passport, debit card and visas and stuff on me at all time, I'm more worried about someone going through my bag when I'm asleep, or running away with it when I'm not looking than getting mugged.

As for how to hide money elsewhere, I'd recommend having many stashes of money on you, instead of just one. I always have 3 stashes of money hiding somewhere. Usually like money belt, hidden wallet in my bag and my everyday wallet, but like people say, sewing it on clothes can be great. Pants can be a good place. And you should sew your hidden pocket on the inside, then sew a bigger patch on the outside to hide the sewing job.

 

[Rolling Blackouts]

Boof It Dawg.

 

[WanderLost Radical]

Had a rip on the butt of my pants. Decided to try it out and upload pictures for you guys!

(Upside down picture, idk why...)
Sewn a piece of fabric on the inside of my shorts. Left a little bit less than the width of a bill unsewn on the top.

The pocket flap comes down to hide the opening (perfect rip location! Woot!) If you look closely, you'll notice I sewn half my pocket shut. Thats because (you'll see in the next pic) the patch was too close to the pocket, I was scared of creating a bump, and I never use those anyway.

Sew a patch larger than the inside one on the outside of your pants to cover the sewing and the tear. I fucked up on the left side, but shouldnt be too obvious anyway!

 

[Adnil]

I went to Wal-Mart (yikes, I know), grabbed myself the cheapest athlete support band (don't know it's official name), then got to work. I snipped two raincoat patches into the same size and sewed them back to back on the inside of the front of the band so that if my ankle was to get wet - the emergency money will still be safe. I sewed them multiple times that way any sewing seen will simply appear as a part of the original band. (Thread used was of military, strong and durable). Anywho, I had cut plastic into two smaller rectangles then heated them shut with a hair straightener to place inside the previous made pocket (not necessary, but I did it for extra protection against any damage). Flipped the band back out and boom, my hidden pocket department was done.

 

[Odin]

Just a rando idea that crossed me diabolical mind. ::shifty::

If you can have a fake custom cast made up for your arm or leg. Or real one after you bust your hand playing fist vs brick wall... that might be a clever place to stash some bills, weed, pills, golden doubloons, stiletto, tech 9, deck of porn themed cards, beef jerky, sentimental trinkets...

OR perhaps a simpler more convenient method perhaps. IF you have some kinda medical "sling"... more portable/puton/off removable... blah blah.

Plus if you do get jacked... you can still use the crip angle for sympathy points when u go fly dat sign. haha

::greedy::

 

[MolotovMocktail]

If you can have a fake custom cast made up for your arm or leg. Or real one after you bust your hand playing fist vs brick wall... that might be a clever place to stash some bills, weed, pills, golden doubloons, stiletto, tech 9, deck of porn themed cards, beef jerky, sentimental trinkets...

"Smuggler with broken leg wears cocaine cast"

 

[autumn]

Just a rando idea that crossed me diabolical mind. ::shifty::

If you can have a fake custom cast made up for your arm or leg. Or real one after you bust your hand playing fist vs brick wall... that might be a clever place to stash some bills, weed, pills, golden doubloons, stiletto, tech 9, deck of porn themed cards, beef jerky, sentimental trinkets...

OR perhaps a simpler more convenient method perhaps. IF you have some kinda medical "sling"... more portable/puton/off removable... blah blah.

Plus if you do get jacked... you can still use the crip angle for sympathy points when u go fly dat sign. haha

::greedy::

Eh the most useful way to hide valuables that I've found is to roll up my dolla dolla bills and shove them up my urethra. If i have a sentimental trinket or beef jerky that I don't want anyone to steal I put it in a ziplock bag and hide it up my butt. Doubles as a pooper plug so I can hold my shit in for 2x as long while I find a bathroom.

 

[WanderLost Radical]

If you can have a fake custom cast made up for your arm or leg. Or real one after you bust your hand playing fist vs brick wall... that might be a clever place to stash some bills, weed, pills, golden doubloons, stiletto, tech 9, deck of porn themed cards, beef jerky, sentimental trinkets...

Ive never had a cast, but from what I've heard, they're extremely uncomfortable, sweaty, and unpractical

Could be a good solution if you have a busted limb, but I dont think its worth the trouble of getting a fake one. Especially since no doc will ever make you a cast for an healthy limb xD

 

[DeadbeatDBeat]

I've had friends who hollowed out parts of their boots/high heels to hide weed, or cut just underneath the pad where your feet go. Pretty sure you could easily substitute your Dimebag for a few folded bills.

There's also always the tried 'n true "Body pockets".

 

[Odin]

@Carl Wander yea I would not say go to a doctor for a fake... just get creative...


If Stallone can do it so can we!

 

[Lost in transit]

The ultimate way to stash money is inside of your body. Call me a jailbird, but seriously... it works. If you are sincerely worried about money, that badly... you do have options. At first when I heard about it, I was flabbergasted. And I would rather utilize security than lose my earnings. Debit cards and shit can be stolen quite easy. I have folded money and hid it in my dreads before by sewing it. You can also roll up to 10 bills to be quite small. You can seal money with plastic and lubricate it like a suppository. It's the only way you can know that you will not be nicked. I mean, you would know if someone was tampering with your dreads or your asshole. Yeah it sounds crazy, but if you can't provide yourself security... it's just a thought. If you have had hemorrhoids before and taken preparation h suppositories you wouldn't have a problem with it. Also, reminds me I need to sew myself a new buttflap. Also, smuggling in money to other nations without documentation is a federal offense. Exercise extreme caution when involving yourself with money. Also, getting in and out of Mexico is way easier than you think. You don't have to do it by the books. It's less of an offense to sneak in and out then it is to smuggle money.

Wow