DreadedSatyr
New member
I'm at a lost of words as to how I would go about this.
As introducing myself is no easy feat. Yet I doubt that my soul differs from others whom share wanderlust and find themselves unable to conform or accept this meager illusion of this accepted reality.
It's been nearly 3-4 years since I left college after a trip to Florida followed with a "trip" bestowed upon me through magical mushrooms and an encounter that left me inside a hospital without sleep and no stimulates to ease the paranoia as I watched a close friend nearly die from a bad batch of grass that was laced. Upon returning I faced my Art director to confess to him that I no longer cared for Animation/Art and with that I left.
There was something off about me. Something was changing. The magical properties of mushrooms allowed myself to recognize such changes.
If one has ever read "Into the Wild" and could relate to Alexander SuperTramp then one could understand the changes that swept through my mind and soul.
At an early age I was blessed with a most intense experience wherein for a summer at the age of 16 I was not living within the air-conditioned room filled with gadgets and gizmos of most American teens but instead I was sleeping beneath the stars and living as a vagrant. By choice it was however what influenced that choice was that I was too be placed within a group-home till I was too become an adult. Most of my teenage life was actually spent inside group homes or juvie as it was becoming well known that my stubbornness and inability to accept bullshit was spreading like herpes.
So I made the choice and decided to live on my own terms. I slept upon a makeshift camp upon the roof-tops of a local grocery store and I would awake to the kiss of morning dew rather then some alarm clock. I was then given the pleasure of meeting some of the most generous souls whom decided at some point that society was too much of a diseased cesspool to bother with. He was an elderly Rastafarian whom spoke very little. We barely spoke but our souls felt connected. I never knew of his name even after finding that a most brutal winter claimed his life.
Eventually I was arrested as I was also finding out that evading pigs isn't easy when under the influence of psychedelics. I actually squatted beneath a thorny bush and awaited to be apprehended. When the cop asked me why I did such a thing. I replied that I'm making you work for this arrest. Skin be bruised by the thorns!
Any whom after a short stint in the county's finest I was once again free to roam.
Many years has passed and now I'm at the age of 26 with still no intentions of joining the parade
and the wanderlust grows. At one point I even fooled myself that perhaps a domestic life was perhaps possible and even marriage with kids! A fool I was as I watched myself becoming something more resembling a monster without a face. More so when I sat with my lovers family of a Thanksgiving meal and endured their ridicule when they spoke of a man far in his 40's whom lived inside of his van. My soul wept as reality struck. I can't do this. This isn't me. If anything everything I believe in be the exact opposite of what they stood for. Days before Christmas I finally confessed to my lover that to do such a thing would be nothing short of suicide. I don't even own a drivers license as I'm not one whom would gladly accept a life of slavery as owning such things resorts to such a life. It's not that I care of my carbon foot-print let alone global warming as in truth the amount of gases we release unto the atmosphere is nothing close to what the Sun is doing to the earth as I speak now. I don't drive as I know that fossil fuels are obsolete and to drive requires too much trouble and paperwork which I prefer to live without. I would drive if my car was somehow able to run on alternative methods but till then I prefer the old fashioned way of walking.
So here I am now faced with a decision that could alter my life for the good or ill yet if I continue to keep the dream out of reach I fear that I will never forgive myself. As I have always had my eyes unto the west. To experience life perhaps one last time before I exhaust every drop of my energy into the cosmos. It was never about reaching the destination but the journey of getting there. And to stay here is to admit defeat. So I'm throwing out my arm and sticking out my thumb with intent to catch the winds and sail to wherever the road takes me. I would love to make it to Cali but again it's never about the destination.
So to anyone within the East Coast have intent to head out west. Just know there's a soul out here in Va whose looking for a ride.
Thou my plans are to head south and follow the southern borders till I make it west as I really do hate the cold.
Oh and ello forums.
As introducing myself is no easy feat. Yet I doubt that my soul differs from others whom share wanderlust and find themselves unable to conform or accept this meager illusion of this accepted reality.
It's been nearly 3-4 years since I left college after a trip to Florida followed with a "trip" bestowed upon me through magical mushrooms and an encounter that left me inside a hospital without sleep and no stimulates to ease the paranoia as I watched a close friend nearly die from a bad batch of grass that was laced. Upon returning I faced my Art director to confess to him that I no longer cared for Animation/Art and with that I left.
There was something off about me. Something was changing. The magical properties of mushrooms allowed myself to recognize such changes.
If one has ever read "Into the Wild" and could relate to Alexander SuperTramp then one could understand the changes that swept through my mind and soul.
At an early age I was blessed with a most intense experience wherein for a summer at the age of 16 I was not living within the air-conditioned room filled with gadgets and gizmos of most American teens but instead I was sleeping beneath the stars and living as a vagrant. By choice it was however what influenced that choice was that I was too be placed within a group-home till I was too become an adult. Most of my teenage life was actually spent inside group homes or juvie as it was becoming well known that my stubbornness and inability to accept bullshit was spreading like herpes.
So I made the choice and decided to live on my own terms. I slept upon a makeshift camp upon the roof-tops of a local grocery store and I would awake to the kiss of morning dew rather then some alarm clock. I was then given the pleasure of meeting some of the most generous souls whom decided at some point that society was too much of a diseased cesspool to bother with. He was an elderly Rastafarian whom spoke very little. We barely spoke but our souls felt connected. I never knew of his name even after finding that a most brutal winter claimed his life.
Eventually I was arrested as I was also finding out that evading pigs isn't easy when under the influence of psychedelics. I actually squatted beneath a thorny bush and awaited to be apprehended. When the cop asked me why I did such a thing. I replied that I'm making you work for this arrest. Skin be bruised by the thorns!
Any whom after a short stint in the county's finest I was once again free to roam.
Many years has passed and now I'm at the age of 26 with still no intentions of joining the parade
and the wanderlust grows. At one point I even fooled myself that perhaps a domestic life was perhaps possible and even marriage with kids! A fool I was as I watched myself becoming something more resembling a monster without a face. More so when I sat with my lovers family of a Thanksgiving meal and endured their ridicule when they spoke of a man far in his 40's whom lived inside of his van. My soul wept as reality struck. I can't do this. This isn't me. If anything everything I believe in be the exact opposite of what they stood for. Days before Christmas I finally confessed to my lover that to do such a thing would be nothing short of suicide. I don't even own a drivers license as I'm not one whom would gladly accept a life of slavery as owning such things resorts to such a life. It's not that I care of my carbon foot-print let alone global warming as in truth the amount of gases we release unto the atmosphere is nothing close to what the Sun is doing to the earth as I speak now. I don't drive as I know that fossil fuels are obsolete and to drive requires too much trouble and paperwork which I prefer to live without. I would drive if my car was somehow able to run on alternative methods but till then I prefer the old fashioned way of walking.
So here I am now faced with a decision that could alter my life for the good or ill yet if I continue to keep the dream out of reach I fear that I will never forgive myself. As I have always had my eyes unto the west. To experience life perhaps one last time before I exhaust every drop of my energy into the cosmos. It was never about reaching the destination but the journey of getting there. And to stay here is to admit defeat. So I'm throwing out my arm and sticking out my thumb with intent to catch the winds and sail to wherever the road takes me. I would love to make it to Cali but again it's never about the destination.
So to anyone within the East Coast have intent to head out west. Just know there's a soul out here in Va whose looking for a ride.
Thou my plans are to head south and follow the southern borders till I make it west as I really do hate the cold.
Oh and ello forums.
