Want to be a goddess? Apply within:

[Kim Chee]

To all of you potential Goddesses: This guy is willing to give you the opportunity to become a Goddess. There are some rules and there is some money involved, but I'm sure there is some Godliness to be had.

Get you some of this:

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/tlg/5637790815.html
seeking female to become sensual goddess $
compensation: $
Introductory organic vegan/ sensual goddess coach & personal motivator is seeking one female interested in detoxing from an unhealthy relationship with food, people, work and negative thought processes! One female that wants to become a goddess and share that gift with others in need.

If you're interested in testing out a personalized sensual/nutrition opportunity for 60-90 days time, you can inquire with a cell phone number and current photo of face and body.

As I'm looking to fine tune what works (and what doesn't) in a program, I offer a free initial session to see if this is for you. 2-3 consecutive meetings are then paid per session ($50), until I see that you have fully come into your true goddess self.

Daily journaling of your mental and physical progress will also be kept in pair with these sessions. Sessions consist of nude yoga, learning sensual goddess massage, cardio, body strength training, positive mind reconditioning,and learning how to become a sensual goddess onto the path of tantra and healing for my clientele that are in need of sensual goddess healing. Once you start working with clientele, you will have the opportunity to make $6-10k per month.

Looking to set up with one female who is SINGLE, with no relationships or children and seeking immediate change at this moment. This is only for the one girl who can commit fully to a greater future.

Further details will be spoken upon in an initial phone conversation. Vehicle for travel is needed and preference goes to those without other serious attachments or priorities.
Please send up to date photos of yourself along with a phone number to reach you at.

Take a fresh photograph of face and body specifically for this goddess opportunity, and your cell phone number is required; If you're able to follow this simple instruction then you're ready to work with me.
Looking forward to your responses ~ Namaste

 

[Desperado Deluxe]

Cheese and rice *barfs*

 

[Deleted member 125]

sounds pretty legit to me. gonna send the dude some nudes and see how it works out. fingers crossed ive always wanted to be a goddess.

 

[Kim Chee]

sounds pretty legit to me. gonna send the dude some nudes and see how it works out. fingers crossed ive always wanted to be a goddess.

Yes, if you ever felt like sending a penis selfie I can't think of a better recipient.

 

[Deleted member 125]

i cant think of a better one either.

 

[Kim Chee]

I did the work for you to improve your chances of getting this gig.

I'm not sure how long it will be up, but you might consider taking some pointers on how to make sure your entire package gets the best exposure:

http://gawker.com/5807858/how-to-take-a-dong-shot
How to Take a Dong Shot

The most disappointing thing about Weinergate is the dick pic that Anthony Weiner may or may not have posted to Twitter. That thing was sad! But we're here to show you—er, explain—how it's done.

The photo of Weiner's wiener (or what we assume is his penis) was pathetic. It isn't even a true dong shot, it's a picture of his half-hard penis in his underwear. Snoozeville. And remember the disappointing dong shot that thoroughly embarrassed Brett Favre? Men—especially the ones who are famous—need to realize that when they take pictures of your fifth appendage and send it out to someone else, it will eventually be judged by millions of other people. Before you get out your cell phone, please follow our advice. A dong shot is no laughing matter. After all, it's your balls that are on the line.

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Full Exposure
As we learned from Mr. Weiner, an underwear dong shot just won't do. First of all it never does a penis justice, even if it's giant and hard. Secondly, when the pictures go public, it belies a false modesty. It says the subject of the picture wanted to send a dong shot, but was too nervous to send the actual dong, and that it's under the sheath of a pair of boxer briefs makes it somehow OK. It's not. The clothed dong shot is sort of like being a little bit pregnant. You might as well just go whole hog.

Groom Away
You wouldn't leave the house with your hair a disgusting mess, would you? Then you shouldn't send around snaps of your package in which it looks all whack. We're not saying to shave off all the hair down there, or wax yourself until you look like an anatomically correct Ken Doll, or, God forbid, "peenjazzle" yourself. But just make sure the hedges aren't too overgrown. And for all of you men out there who are, ahem, short of stature, the less bush means the bigger the cock looks. That's one thing Brett Favre got right.

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Erect Yourself
This is the most important decision you're going to make in the dong shot process: How hard should it be? Now, no woman really wants to look at a penis picture, and she certainly doesn't want to look at a limp dick. However a full erection is a bit on the crass side, even in the realm of XXX text messages. Also, if the person receiving your photo can tell that you're totally hard, then there's no mystery about just how big you really are. I suggest plumping it up into a semi. That way it looks a little bigger than normal, gives the impression of a boner, but still gives the impression that it's going to get even bigger before reaching full mast. That's what you want, for people to think your dick is huge. Just ask Kanye.

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Force Perspective
A picture of a penis free floating in space won't give any indication of exactly how big the member is. For those on the smaller end of the spectrum, get nice and close and fill up the frame with your wang. Without anything else in the shot, it's going to look like Godzilla attacking Tokyo. For those on the bigger side, don't do anything as cheesy as holding up a ruler or a beer bottle to show just how huge you are. That's just bragging. Make sure that a hand or some other object is close by to put everything to scale.

Lighting Matters
You want a penis picture to have a bit of an air of mystery. Nothing too bright, but certainly not so dark that the object in question is obscured by the background. And don't use a flash. Never, never, never. Have you ever seen how bad bald people look at Wal-Mart? Exactly.

Work Your Angles
The best way to shoot the dick is from the top down, with the lens pointed toward the feet. Laying down works better than standing. This is the way your prospective partner will be looking at it, so give them a good view. Another acceptable angle is to hold the camera toward the body and point the penis to one side, especially if you are hard and the endowment is large. I would strongly advise against lying down and shooting the underside of the dick, unless you're really tiny and need your balls to add the illusion that you're longer than you truly are.

Mirror Image
I would advise against taking photos in the mirror like Craigslist Congressman Chris Lee. This may sound silly, but a dick picture should seem impromptu and intimate, like the sender is so enamored with the sendee that he couldn't help but just whip it out and commemorate it for eternity. Standing in the mirror seems vain, does crazy things to the perspective, and the mirror can give off a lousy glare. Also, pics in the mirror usually end up showing off more than a bit of a torso. If you have a buff body like Congressman Aaron Schock then, please, capture your body from neck to knees. However, if you're a little flabby around the midsection do the world and yourself a favor and keep a tight focus on the body part at hand.

Go Pro
If you're really going to be sending these things out all over Craigslist or posting them on Manhunt or Adult FriendFinder or any other seedy corner of the Internet, do everyone a favor and pay a bit of money for an expert to do it. You can easily find one in the same place that you're going to be going to cruise for sex. Sure, boudoir pics reek a little bit of being Samantha Jones, but if you're going to get a lot of play out of these, you might as well make sure they're of the highest quality. Just remember this isn't going to say "impromptu cock shot" it will say "cyber sex professional" but sometimes that is the vibe that is going to get you laid. Just keep your face out of it. This isn't Playgirl.

 

[Deleted member 125]

there really is a art to making something that i (as a straight male) dont think is all that great to look at, that being said im more then happy to send my partner a cock shot when she asks and i think ive got a pretty good handle on how to photograph this hog to give it the best look possible.

 

[Kim Chee]

there really is a art to making something that i (as a straight male) dont think is all that great to look at, that being said im more then happy to send my partner a cock shot when she asks and i think ive got a pretty good handle on how to photograph this hog to give it the best look possible.

Whoa...she asks?

"Hi honey, can you send me a pic semi-chub with balls?"

^like that?

 

[Deleted member 125]

thats pretty much exactly how it goes.