thinking about going on the road again

[daveycrockett]

ive been in a house for two years now and it may not work where i am. when i was younger i traveled out of necessity but the lifestyle stuck and now that im thinking about leaving it seems the that i want to go back to the streets. It was a very hard lifestyle for a long time(16 to 32) but i want the freedom and to live life and not be stuck in one place. Im not married or have kids at the moment i dont have much if any cash which is one of the problems here, it seems when you have money and everything is easy people are cool but when your back is against the wall and funds are low people show their true colors. all in all i am with someone and two children who are not mine who refuses to work claims physical sickness to not have to go to work but is totally capable (doing) when it is handed to them. I feel i am being taken advantage of, constantly disrespected, lied to and in all treated like shit. its hard for me to up and leave because many times in my life from the age of 10 or so ive had my living situation change in a day where i would have what i need and be put out with nothing but the clothes on my back which is will what happen if and when i leave here. there is no work for me here for another two months and its pretty bad. i try to explain to the other person how the way they are treating me is wrong but they take what i continue to express and say the same about me word for word as what i believe to be in part them not being able to accept their wrongdoing and be equal with me but be manipulative and abusive. im in NY in February, i love and hate the streets as well as my current situation.....

 

[Vulture]

I think your shift key is broken. If you don't have any responsibility, legal that is, to the people you live with, get out as soon as possible, sounds pretty toxic. It's probably better to have a rough life you can exercise a fair amount of control over than a miserable one in which you're the others' slave. Either way, good luck Mr. Crockett.

 

[WanderLost Radical]

Ive always been quick on leaving toxic relationships, as I believe I don't need people in my life, even though I sure enjoy their company, so my opinion might be biaised, but I'd say get the hell out ASAP. I mean... yeah, the streets are shitty, especially in NY in the winter, but hell, at least it doesnt play with your brain, and since you've been there for more than 15 years, I'm pretty sure you'll get by fine in the end!

You managed to get out once, you can do it twice! Start over somewhere else! Starting from zero sucks, but I always considered zero better than shit

 

[nomadman]

Dude, I agree with the above posts. Get out of the drama and toxic environment. I understand the love/hate relationship with the streets, but, at least you have freedom and control over your situation. What kind of work do you do that won't be available for another 2 months?

 

[Dmac]

I have been in the same situation, and I stayed longer than I should have because of Her kids. I knew that they would be worse off without me there, because their Mom refused to work. It was difficult to leave, but it was the best decision for me. She found some other guy (an acquaintance of mine) real quick and managed to bankrupt him in less than a year.

 

[GinGin]

Tbh man i agree with the above posters you should definitly get out of that relationship asap, especially if all youre feelin is these negative feelings and issues sparking up. Ive been in my share of toxic relationships, shits like a drug...unfortunately it can give you the best and worst feelings/times of your life, but eventually you have to just let it go an walk away for your own well being. Winter in NY is tough so maybe wait it out another month or so until most of winter is already passed, but regardless definitly move away from that situation an travel on brotha. Good luck man, peace.

 

[daveycrockett]

Well I'm out and it was pretty ugly. I'm very hurt and upset but I guess it just takes time. Losing someone you love is never easy we've known each other 20yrs and I hate not being able to see them again or how it ended. currently looking for my ownplace can't do this kind of thing again for awhile.

 

[Vulture]

Do you believe time heals all wounds? I don't know anything about being with anyone for such a long time, but I get the general idea. There's a theory out that it takes 1/3 of the duration of the relationship to recover emotionally from it. Sounds like bullshit to me...wreaks of pseudo-science.

In any case, you have more time on your hands. Perhaps a calmer environment? I've found that with a database of left-wing political and existential philosophies, I can read my way out of any problem. Waiting for problems to fade away has never worked for me, but usually books can help me reason my way out. Perhaps you've got it covered already.

 

[DreaderDread]

Thanks I needed this booster I'm currently in the same situation except its with family. I was the bread winner this time last year and the only reason we arnt sleeping in a car is because I had a good job and found this house. I lost the job like 7mo ago n its like you said when you ain't got the money noone gives a fuck. As I type this 2family members are saying everybody needs their own shit! But forgot about my 15hr job and my resources to even get this shitty house. Man I feel you bro

 

[DreaderDread]

Thanks I needed this booster I'm currently in the same situation except its with family. I was the bread winner this time last year and the only reason we arnt sleeping in a car is because I had a good job and found this house. I lost the job like 7mo ago n its like you said when you ain't got the money noone gives a fuck. As I type this 2family members are saying everybody needs their own shit! But forgot about my 15hr job and my resources to even get this shitty house. Man I feel you bro