They will not share what they got

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I am writing this in response to several experiences I have just recently had. I also come with a question. Is there possible to stay at people's houses that have never been homeless and not make them feel uncomfortable in any kind of way????

When I typically get housed up, it is by old friends, or housed up travelers. Sometimes, college kids or housie rich kid punks will also house me. Or environmental girls. Or girls that work at starbucks. Blue collar guys. Ranch hands. Outdoorsy yuppies. Gangsters. Road cyclists. The list goes on. There's two kinds of people in the world.

1. People who have always had everything handed to them and then they maintain that, by having stable employment thus gaining stabile resources for their entire life.

2. People who have not had things and either wallow in that misery or they gain skills and become extremely creative.

I have stayed at both kinds of people's houses. I almost always somehow fuck something up with type 1. I overstay or somehow use an object that apparently was off limits or something. I consider myself to be a very respectful person. Really, just about everyone in my life would agree, for the most part.

Type 2, it's essentially impossible to overstay. When I am a housie, I am completely fucking estatic when travelers visit me. What do ya need????!!!! Tell me!!! If I can!!! I will give them everything!!! And probably for free! Because I got skills that allow me to not be torn up about anything! I can give you so much without a single cent in my pocket. I have never made anyone in the type 2 category feel any kind of way, EVER.

The question is it is possible for people who truly are street kids with radical beliefs to co exist with the type 1???? I ask because I'm kind of thinking I no longer want to be around anyone unless they know how to share. Sharing what you got truly is the only thing that makes sense. Why keep things You don't need, that I myself would use, everywhere and every day??? I don't get it. This shit completely blows me the fuck away
 

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3. People who work hard for what that have and yet are generous and enjoy helping people out.

I fall into this category and have enjoyed many visits from travelers over the years - and have helped out many people on the road who are in trouble.
 
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OP
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3. People who work hard for what that have and yet are generous and enjoy helping people out.

I fall into this category and have enjoyed many visits from travelers over the years - and have helped out many people on the road who are in trouble.
Yes blue collar or self made people exist, that is right although they are more of a 2. Hugely generalizing here to simplify
 
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T Paradise

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The question is it is possible for people who truly are street kids with radical beliefs to co exist with the type 1???? I ask because I'm kind of thinking I no longer want to be around anyone unless they know how to share.
Do you think the people of category one don't share enough of their possessions with you, even though they housed you up?
The question is how radical the beliefs of the street kid are.
 
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highwayman

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I think that much of life is like a giant sociological experiment with 80% of life in simply showing up. There is also a definite skill to know when to leave somewhere. How long are you crashing with people before you run into these situations? There are always pros & cons to all situations. Something I try to do is to determine what "my" purpose is for being somewhere & or with certain people. I also need to fully clarify all invitations to determine for how long I visit. Having a house-guest does not automatically equal taking on a roommate.

Much of interacting with others involves establishing healthy boundaries. Expectations, ignorance and fear often prevent finding true mutual acceptance. To find an individual sort of equanimity is ideal for everyone. Balance is a funny thing with many aspects of one life so precariously on the verge of upsetting the serenity of the whole. Even as a housed up person, I cannot/do not interact with others on a social level because of personality quirks, lifestyle differences, political philosophies etc. I can not imagine having some of these people on my social media platforms; let alone staying with me or vice versa. Just as punk-houses & communal living situations are plagued with human caused dramas around people so too can any home environment. Whenever an additional member is involved there are risks of upsetting the apple cart. One thing to consider is that we all have different sensibilities, ideals & lifestyles. What may be right for me may not jive with others. One is no more correct than another. Its all just choices & circumstances. The way you feel might also change if you had housemates/dependents/pets in a housing situation that required an amount of walking the line in order to preserve it. My landlord lives downstairs from my place, so I can only get away with a certain amount of stuff opposed to having absentee landlords or owning a home.

Fear is also powerful, especially in those who are terrified of being homeless, unemployed & un-tethered. While many of the cross-section of lives where you visit may not be your perfect version of life; perhaps those who built it work very hard at keeping their life in peace & harmony. Some people may be seem envious to your lifestyle in a romantic sense of living outside of the mainstream; but would they ever sacrifice their own life to attempt it? Probably not, since all lives are intentional. We all live as we desire or can manage given our circumstances.

Having the expectations that others must share because they have a surplus is simply unrealistic. To think that others are entitled is probably not accurate either as there must be much unseen sacrifice that accompanies their lives. Capitalism is built on greed & exploitation & most likely your hosts have simply entered into that agreement & may somehow benefit but are also just exploited cogs in that machine. Now, I feel that if I have something that could be better used to benefit an others life than I usually weigh out the pros & cons. I routinely collect, fix up & give away bikes to homebums & or newly sober alcoholics in recovery. Many people are unskilled in the tasks of survival in order to thrive & be happy with any amount of stuff, anywhere. Obviously you are contributing something by your presence but is it equal to that of your host?. It may be that simplicity & minimalism makes more sense then the 9-5 rat race life for some. Or some rat racing exists to be able to fund the bare necessities. Some of us have been travellers, homeless, housies & wage slaves. I have finally built a perfect home ecosystem that truly is really fragile. The fragility of a home may not be fully understood by guests who may not be invested in its long term success.

Just because another chooses to be an employee does not mean that they must openly share what little that they have. I think that a persons home is their sanctuary and without a sanctuary, few can truly live at peace. To demand that others "know how to share" could lead to isolationism. We all need to know how to be good guests & good hosts. As civilized guests in an others sanctuary, are we welcome? & if so for how long? are we contributing? should we contribute? How often do I take for granted the fact that I have electricity, food, wifi, heat, water, vehicles etc. When I am a guest while traveling, I take full advantage of the existing finite charitable infrastructure, knowing it must be used while available (washer/dryer, shower, computer/internet, kitchen etc.). Also as a host I try to figure out the needs of my guests & kick down the surplus items that will be better appreciated & used by new users. That stems from knowing how others live & or travel.

I think its important to put yourself in the shoes of the other person & see the world through a different lens while in their sanctuary. Just as they must be doing when they invite you into their home. It should be a sort of temporary cultural exchange. If you plan on staying anywhere longer than a week than there should be clear rules, boundaries, contribution factors and responsibilities of being a tenant versus being a temporary guest. Obviously if you plan on actually living someplace instead of just crashing than you would put more effort into building the sort of home that suits you best. You may not decide to have roommates or live with your host.

Some hosts may feel some sort of moral obligation to save, assist & or fix you. You may think that you are perceived as a peer but others may view you as a project. Many people who have never traveled & or been homeless might see all the good attributes that you possess but think that if you just had a little help; you too could live like them. Many people do not introspectively judge how/where,why they live; the way they do. Many people can assume a hierarchical role and act as saviors or evangelists. Some could naively think that they could fix a person by helping someone get a job, find an apartment, get sober, grow roots, get a fico score, drivers license, car, friends and or find a spouse yadda, yadda yadda.

The flip side of not wanting to be a radical guest is to become a radical host. These exchanges are certainly meaningful situations that guide us all and will surely occur again in the future. Good luck
 
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noothgrush

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If you can't see why some people would be hesitant about letting strangers stay where they lay their heads, you ain't been been around long enough. I get your point of view but I also get theirs. The world seems to be getting shadier and shadier. And I'm not sure that giving people something for nothing is helping the situation.
 
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OP
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I
If you can't see why some people would be hesitant about letting strangers stay where they their heads, you ain't been been around long enough. I get your point of view but I also get theirs. The world seems to be getting shadier and shadier. And I'm not sure that giving people something for nothing is helping the situation.
i have been off and on since I was 16 and have had a lot of things stolen from me
 
OP
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I think that much of life is like a giant sociological experiment with 80% of life in simply showing up. There is also a definite skill to know when to leave somewhere. How long are you crashing with people before you run into these situations? There are always pros & cons to all situations. Something I try to do is to determine what "my" purpose is for being somewhere & or with certain people. I also need to fully clarify all invitations to determine for how long I visit. Having a house-guest does not automatically equal taking on a roommate.

Much of interacting with others involves establishing healthy boundaries. Expectations, ignorance and fear often prevent finding true mutual acceptance. To find an individual sort of equanimity is ideal for everyone. Balance is a funny thing with many aspects of one life so precariously on the verge of upsetting the serenity of the whole. Even as a housed up person, I cannot/do not interact with others on a social level because of personality quirks, lifestyle differences, political philosophies etc. I can not imagine having some of these people on my social media platforms; let alone staying with me or vice versa. Just as punk-houses & communal living situations are plagued with human caused dramas around people so too can any home environment. Whenever an additional member is involved there are risks of upsetting the apple cart. One thing to consider is that we all have different sensibilities, ideals & lifestyles. What may be right for me may not jive with others. One is no more correct than another. Its all just choices & circumstances. The way you feel might also change if you had housemates/dependents/pets in a housing situation that required an amount of walking the line in order to preserve it. My landlord lives downstairs from my place, so I can only get away with a certain amount of stuff opposed to having absentee landlords or owning a home.

Fear is also powerful, especially in those who are terrified of being homeless, unemployed & un-tethered. While many of the cross-section of lives where you visit may not be your perfect version of life; perhaps those who built it work very hard at keeping their life in peace & harmony. Some people may be seem envious to your lifestyle in a romantic sense of living outside of the mainstream; but would they ever sacrifice their own life to attempt it? Probably not, since all lives are intentional. We all live as we desire or can manage given our circumstances.

Having the expectations that others must share because they have a surplus is simply unrealistic. To think that others are entitled is probably not accurate either as there must be much unseen sacrifice that accompanies their lives. Capitalism is built on greed & exploitation & most likely your hosts have simply entered into that agreement & may somehow benefit somehow but are also just cogs in that machine. Now, I feel that if I have something that could be better used to benefit an others life than I usually weigh out the pros & cons. I routinely collect, fix up & give away bikes to homebums & or newly sober alcoholics in recovery. Many people are unskilled in the tasks of survival in order to thrive & be happy with any amount of stuff, anywhere. Obviously you are contributing something by your presence but is it equal to that of your host?. It may be that simplicity & minimalism makes more sense then the 9-5 rat race life for some. Or some rat racing exists to be able to fund the bare necessities. Some of us have been travellers, homeless, housies & wage slaves. I have finally built a perfect home ecosystem that truly is really fragile. The fragility of a home may not be fully understood by guests who may not be invested in its long term success.

Just because another chooses to be an employee does not mean that they must openly share what little that they have. I think that a persons home is their sanctuary and without a sanctuary, few can truly live at peace. To demand that others "know how to share" could lead to isolationism. We all need to know how to be good guests & good hosts. As civilized guests in an others sanctuary, are we welcome? & if so for how long? are we contributing? should we contribute? How often do I take for granted the fact that I have electricity, food, wifi, heat, water, vehicles etc. When I am a guest while traveling, I take full advantage of the existing finite charitable infrastructure, knowing it must be used while available (washer/dryer, shower, computer/internet, kitchen etc.). Also as a host I try to figure out the needs of my guests & kick down the surplus items that will be better appreciated & used by new users. That stems from knowing how others live & or travel.

I think its important to put yourself in the shoes of the other person & see the world through a different lens while in their sanctuary. Just as they must be doing when they invite you into their home. It should be a sort of temporary cultural exchange. If you plan on staying anywhere longer than a week than there should be clear rules, boundaries, contribution factors and responsibilities of being a tenant versus being a temporary guest. Obviously if you plan on actually living someplace instead of just crashing than you would put more effort into building the sort of home that suits you best. You may not decide to have roommates or live with your host.

Some hosts may feel some sort of moral obligation to save, assist & or fix you. You may think that you are perceived as a peer but others may view you as a project. Many people who have never traveled & or been homeless might see all the good attributes that you possess but think that if you just had a little help; you too could live like them. Many people do not introspectively judge how/where,why they live; the way they do. Many people can assume a hierarchical role and act as saviors or evangelists. Some could naively think that they could fix a person by helping someone get a job, find an apartment, get sober, grow roots, get a fico score, drivers license, car, friends and or find a spouse yadda, yadda yadda.

The flip side of not wanting to be a radical guest is to become a radical host. These exchanges are certainly meaningful situations that guide us all and will surely occur again in the future. Good luck
I posted this because I needed to read something like this. Thank you for sharing this knowledge with me, it will change my dynamic
 
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noothgrush

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Maybe I'm just cynical. I don't like selfishness but I'm not opposed to the idea of healthy skepticism of the motives of half the people I meet on the street either.
 
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warlo

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after almost a decade of going around I learned to appreciate more someone opening their doors to let me have a shower and then go. I prefer to stay outdoors so long I find a place where i can have a restful sleep. Staying indoors is great, but I rather busk some money and pay a hostel nowadays that go trough strangers, specially since it has become easier for me to get some cash out of the streets than meet and convince strangers that im not the devil.
Dont get me wrong, I still would prefer to meet good strangers and receive their hospitality, and that still happens, just not so often (as people like that are rare). I have met some amazing people that hosted me at their homes and we both made it into a great experience (some of them are great friends of mine now). but mainly its been with the type that you generally describe as wealthy and uncomfortable of your presence. And there's nothing wrong with them really, I mean, they managed to open the door for you and thats a big thing for most people in current society. problem is that their efforts fall short if you stay longer than a night. If i get that kind of offer, I would ask for a shower, maybe wash some clothes, sleep well for a night and then go away early so i can fix whatever needs to be fixed to not need another night like that. problems usually start when you stay longer, and if you are observant you can figure out the type every time and decide based on that.
 
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OP
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after almost a decade of going around I learned to appreciate more someone opening their doors to let me have a shower and then go. I prefer to stay outdoors so long I find a place where i can have a restful sleep. Staying indoors is great, but I rather busk some money and pay a hostel nowadays that go trough strangers, specially since it has become easier for me to get some cash out of the streets than meet and convince strangers that im not the devil.
Dont get me wrong, I still would prefer to meet good strangers and receive their hospitality, and that still happens, just not so often (as people like that are rare). I have met some amazing people that hosted me at their homes and we both made it into a great experience (some of them are great friends of mine now). but mainly its been with the type that you generally describe as wealthy and uncomfortable of your presence. And there's nothing wrong with them really, I mean, they managed to open the door for you and thats a big thing for most people in current society. problem is that their efforts fall short if you stay longer than a night. If i get that kind of offer, I would ask for a shower, maybe wash some clothes, sleep well for a night and then go away early so i can fix whatever needs to be fixed to not need another night like that. problems usually start when you stay longer, and if you are observant you can figure out the type every time and decide based on that.
Yes that is basically what is my experience. I need to just not unpack all my shit or be packed before I go to sleep as to not over stay because truly it does accidentally happen
 
OP
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Do you think the people of category one don't share enough of their possessions with you, even though they housed you up?
The question is how radical the beliefs of the street kid are.
As for my radically beliefs I'm into socialism and anarcho communism, probably the same as you considering your picture
 

warlo

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gotta be careful going around the world thinking that because you are socialist everybody else ought to give you stuff just like that. also, that's not how socialism works, in order to receive you should give the share amount that most able people give. That works like my example on your other post, where i said that kinda belief fades away when you try and get a community working and bums move in and say "long live anarchy ill do whatever the fuck i want to do" or in your case "im a socialist so you should house me, feed me and some other stuff even though you just met me and I have not given you anything of value "

One of my core beliefs that kept me mostly out of troubles and clashes with society is that nobody owes me shit but respect, same applies for me towards them.
 
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warlo

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Just to be clear. I think its awesome that you come to this forum (or any other) and vent your frustrations in front of people with a similar lifestyle than yours. specially cause it seems you are venturing into this world. so keep at it. but if you allow me to give you advice, keep up with the philosophy part where you question stuff but try stay neutral and humble. dont get to conclusions just yet. give it a couple years before you convince yourself that dividing society into two subgroups is doable (i.e. wealthy and shitty vs poor and nice), cause that is nowhere near reality. You gotta be the one asking people opening their doors and then be the one opening your own doors to strangers for a long while with all sorts of people in all sorts of cultures before closing up your judgement (assuming thats possible at all).

You (and anybody if I may) should be aware that the human brain is constantly trying to find the shortest and easiest pattern to move on to new thoughts and ideas about the world around you. So beware of how fast and easily you can make up your mind about people/society and challenge that or your life as a traveler is gonna fold and close ahead of you pretty quickly.
 
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OP
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gotta be careful going around the world thinking that because you are socialist everybody else ought to give you stuff just like that. also, that's not how socialism works, in order to receive you should give the share amount that most able people give. That works like my example on your other post, where i said that kinda belief fades away when you try and get a community working and bums move in and say "long live anarchy ill do whatever the fuck i want to do" or in your case "im a socialist so you should house me, feed me and some other stuff even though you just met me and I have not given you anything of value "

One of my core beliefs that kept me mostly out of troubles and clashes with society is that nobody owes me shit but respect, same applies for me towards them.
Hey dawg I know we live in capitalism and yeah I know lmao
 
OP
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gotta be careful going around the world thinking that because you are socialist everybody else ought to give you stuff just like that. also, that's not how socialism works, in order to receive you should give the share amount that most able people give. That works like my example on your other post, where i said that kinda belief fades away when you try and get a community working and bums move in and say "long live anarchy ill do whatever the fuck i want to do" or in your case "im a socialist so you should house me, feed me and some other stuff even though you just met me and I have not given you anything of value "

One of my core beliefs that kept me mostly out of troubles and clashes with society is that nobody owes me shit but respect, same applies for me towards them.
Also quite truly, I am not kid. I have done a lot of disaster relif, food not bombs, bicycle voulenter work, whatever. I know you are telling me this because youdont know me and I could be anyone. But I also want people to know who I am and if you need help with anything I will help you.
 

Matt Derrick

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Just to be clear. I think its awesome that you come to this forum (or any other) and vent your frustrations in front of people with a similar lifestyle than yours.
i agree and @THE REAL SCAVENGER the fact that you're smart enough to self-evaluate and question yourself shows that you're a person of good character in my opinion. I was going to add some advice of my own, but to be honest, i think @highwayman and @warlo have already covered everything i was going to say.

so anyways, i think you're in a good spot, just try to be conscious of your impact, especially with group #1.
 
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i agree and @THE REAL SCAVENGER the fact that you're smart enough to self-evaluate and question yourself shows that you're a person of good character in my opinion. I was going to add some advice of my own, but to be honest, i think @highwayman and @warlo have already covered everything i was going to say.

so anyways, i think you're in a good spot, just try to be conscious of your impact, especially with group #1.
Thanks dude I appreciate that a lot
 
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All Who Wander

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I agree w warlo, anytime you start a convo with "there are two kinds of people in this world..." you start off wrong. There are an infinite number of kinds of people in this world. Gross generalization is always flawed. But given the premise...

why is "sharing" considered a virtue? I have been rich, and poor and homeless. One thing I always agreed with after reading "Atlas Shrugged" is that man's greatest virtue is selfeshness.

Hear me out... why do we help those less fortunate than ourselves? Out of empathy? Sure, but mainly to make ourselves feel good. There is no charitable act or self sacrifice you can perform without receiving something in return even if the return is just smug satisfaction.

Selfeshness is why we do everything that we do. If we share its only so that we recieve benifit. If someone does not feel sharing with you will give them the benifit they want, they are not wrong to refuse to share with you.
 

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