Disclaimer: I respect everyone's rights to believe in whatever they want to believe. I just wish they'd respect my right to eat a breakfast sandwich in peace.
Loneliness sunk in today. Not in a sad way just in a, man I'm bored and wish I had someone other than Shelobs children to talk to, sort of way.
So, I decided to go meet some of the townies.
First, I ran into most of the local PD. They were nice and down to earth. Rare for cops. They genuinely seemed interested in me as a person and not just an inevitable statistic.
So having built a rapport with local law enforcement I thought things were going well.
So I decided to hit the quick e mart for a sausage biscuit with egg. I sat down out front to eat my first real meal in 3 days and enjoy a beautiful fall day.
Then, it all went horribly wrong. A sweet - 70 year old - Jehovah Trollady walks up to me. I say troll because she had no actual business at the quickiemart. She purchased neither gas nor sundry.
When I saw her, I thought maybe I was getting a kickdown.
Then, I saw the manilla folder of soul-sucking-propaganda and i got a pretty good idea of what was coming next.
Still, I was grateful for the human interaction even if it was with someone who peddled religion door to door like Tupperware. I would later regret this sentiment.
So, she pulls out her manifesto and asks me if I read the bible.
I smile at the gentle old lady and tell her that I'm catholic and that she is wasting her breath. Usually this sends all but the most determined Jehovah's packing...
Not this sweet albeit batshit-crazy old lady. She proceeds to tell me she was born Catholic and how the nuns were mean to her.
'Boohoo for your awful childhood' I'm thought 'Try having a heroin addict for a father.' I'll take nuns hitting me with rulers and catholic schoolgirls in short skirts any day. Those are kinky fantasies by today's standards.
So then, as I watch my breakfast sandwiches getting colder by the minute, she starts in on the evils of the catholic church. They've got some big problems yes but they also do more charity work than most protestants IMO.
"Insulting someone's faith is not a good way to begin a sales negotiation." I tell her.
She's clueless. She asks me if she thought my preacher ever read the bible. I tell her that I don't go to church and that I don't believe in corporations shilling me religious pamphlets and tithing obligations. I thought for sure that would be enough for her to get the hint.
Nope.
But your Catholic? She replied.
How do you tell a small town cult member that you are the superstitious sort of backwoods Catholic who worships the black Madonna and makes crossroad deals?
So then she dropped the Jehovah's Witness Nuclear bomb on me.
Have you read the passage in John where the dark lord takes over the earth and it says the whole earth is being lied to?
I was now thoroughly defeated. I hung my head and looked sadly at my now soggy sandwiches. I thought for sure that she would now leave having completely crushing my soul.
But still, she continued. I picked up my cold sandwiches and walked away.
Living in the Devils time? What a crackpot. When was Gods time? From what I've seen: its been murder, rape and enslavement for as long as humans have walked the earth.
Gods time was the 5 minutes that a coupla nudists resided in Eden. From what I can tell, the world has belonged to the devil ever since.
How do you deal with these nutjobs without bitchsmacking them across their wingnut mouths?
Loneliness sunk in today. Not in a sad way just in a, man I'm bored and wish I had someone other than Shelobs children to talk to, sort of way.
So, I decided to go meet some of the townies.
First, I ran into most of the local PD. They were nice and down to earth. Rare for cops. They genuinely seemed interested in me as a person and not just an inevitable statistic.
So having built a rapport with local law enforcement I thought things were going well.
So I decided to hit the quick e mart for a sausage biscuit with egg. I sat down out front to eat my first real meal in 3 days and enjoy a beautiful fall day.
Then, it all went horribly wrong. A sweet - 70 year old - Jehovah Trollady walks up to me. I say troll because she had no actual business at the quickiemart. She purchased neither gas nor sundry.
When I saw her, I thought maybe I was getting a kickdown.
Then, I saw the manilla folder of soul-sucking-propaganda and i got a pretty good idea of what was coming next.
Still, I was grateful for the human interaction even if it was with someone who peddled religion door to door like Tupperware. I would later regret this sentiment.
So, she pulls out her manifesto and asks me if I read the bible.
I smile at the gentle old lady and tell her that I'm catholic and that she is wasting her breath. Usually this sends all but the most determined Jehovah's packing...
Not this sweet albeit batshit-crazy old lady. She proceeds to tell me she was born Catholic and how the nuns were mean to her.
'Boohoo for your awful childhood' I'm thought 'Try having a heroin addict for a father.' I'll take nuns hitting me with rulers and catholic schoolgirls in short skirts any day. Those are kinky fantasies by today's standards.
So then, as I watch my breakfast sandwiches getting colder by the minute, she starts in on the evils of the catholic church. They've got some big problems yes but they also do more charity work than most protestants IMO.
"Insulting someone's faith is not a good way to begin a sales negotiation." I tell her.
She's clueless. She asks me if she thought my preacher ever read the bible. I tell her that I don't go to church and that I don't believe in corporations shilling me religious pamphlets and tithing obligations. I thought for sure that would be enough for her to get the hint.
Nope.
But your Catholic? She replied.
How do you tell a small town cult member that you are the superstitious sort of backwoods Catholic who worships the black Madonna and makes crossroad deals?
So then she dropped the Jehovah's Witness Nuclear bomb on me.
Have you read the passage in John where the dark lord takes over the earth and it says the whole earth is being lied to?
I was now thoroughly defeated. I hung my head and looked sadly at my now soggy sandwiches. I thought for sure that she would now leave having completely crushing my soul.
But still, she continued. I picked up my cold sandwiches and walked away.
Living in the Devils time? What a crackpot. When was Gods time? From what I've seen: its been murder, rape and enslavement for as long as humans have walked the earth.
Gods time was the 5 minutes that a coupla nudists resided in Eden. From what I can tell, the world has belonged to the devil ever since.
How do you deal with these nutjobs without bitchsmacking them across their wingnut mouths?
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