stealth pissing (aimed -no pun- for the guys....)

ScumRag

Wanderer
Lifetime Supporter
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
255
Likes
159
Current Location
San Diego, CA
#1
ever got caught by the PD for pissing in public?
tonight at the bus depot -i shit you not- a cruiser went by, did their little flash dance & said on their loud speaker
"DONT DO IT AGAIN!"

well, fuck man! I gotta piss somehwere. the bathrooms are closed cuz of 9/11 and so i'm caught waving at the cops
with my D in my hand.

any tips im missing cuz i really don't wanna go down as a sex offender just fer waving my D in an alley
 
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
637
Likes
527
Age
45
Current Location
Bonn, Germany
Website
anagortravelling.wordpress.com
#2
Yep, but fortunately with no consequences, just being told "not to do it again" as you experienced it.

Well, tips ... when I needed to ... and nothing was open (no McD, no KFC, etc, no puplic toilets) I always tried to find a really quite alleyway where you wouldn't be surprised by cops or some park where you can go behind some bushes or alike.

But it can be difficult and annoying. Especially in large cities where it's hard to find a spot with no one (and no cctv) around.

Basel, Switzerland was best. Public, self-cleaning toilets everywhere, and you could use them for free. :)
 

Jackthereaper

Rambler
StP Supporter
Joined
Oct 5, 2018
Messages
132
Likes
50
Current Location
Earth
#4
I usually have good luck peeing into bushes etc near rivers and in quiet parks. Remember, the last thing you wanna do is turn around and piss on the cops legs and shoes (a mate did that and wound up beaten up and arrested for the night(drunk tank))
 

Engineer J Lupo

the most derailingest mod.
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
661
Likes
666
Age
43
Current Location
Fresno, Ca
#5
Just take 2 more minutes to find a better spot. Train tracks off the right of way behind buildings, in the bushes near freeway onramps/offramps, places that distance you from a road that's easy for them to roll up on you.
 
Joined
Jun 26, 2018
Messages
41
Likes
50
Current Location
Sebastian, Florida
#6
I take this very seriously because of the sex offender part attached these days. I sit yes, sit in metro areas where it is impossible to hold and find a safe spot because of closings. I have gotten quite used to it actually. That dumb law, made it very practical for me. I find that a parking lot - Publix or some other, sitting on the parking block facing away from the roadway and if possible, in the medians also within a parking lot. It is much easier for them to tell you to quit loitering than stop pissing. Sitting is very stealthy for Men, no one expects that is what you are doing. Just wing it out and keep your feet out of the way :D
 

Engineer J Lupo

the most derailingest mod.
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
661
Likes
666
Age
43
Current Location
Fresno, Ca
#7
Also be aware of your posturing. If you're using both hands and arching your back, it's pretty fuckin obvious what you're doing. If you're looking at your phone with one hand raised up and kinda standing in a way that makes pissing uncomfortable, maybe even direct that stream off to the side that way you're not facing directly at a bush or whatever. There's all kinds of tricks to making it less obvious.
 

SlankyLanky

the friendliest mod
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
2,226
Likes
1,559
Age
32
Current Location
richmond virginia, the east coasts portland.
#8
I take this very seriously because of the sex offender part attached these days. I sit yes, sit in metro areas where it is impossible to hold and find a safe spot because of closings. I have gotten quite used to it actually. That dumb law, made it very practical for me. I find that a parking lot - Publix or some other, sitting on the parking block facing away from the roadway and if possible, in the medians also within a parking lot. It is much easier for them to tell you to quit loitering than stop pissing. Sitting is very stealthy for Men, no one expects that is what you are doing. Just wing it out and keep your feet out of the way :D
you must be pulling some david copperfield shit with a 24 inch dick that you can just unroll away from you while you pee or im picturing this completely wrong, because i dont see anyway to sit down and stealthy take a piss without pissing all over myself or cutting up my johnson on my zipper trying to hide the fact that i got skin in hand.
 

ScumRag

Wanderer
Lifetime Supporter
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
255
Likes
159
Current Location
San Diego, CA
#9
you must be pulling some david copperfield shit with a 24 inch dick that you can just unroll away from you while you pee or im picturing this completely wrong, because i dont see anyway to sit down and stealthy take a piss without pissing all over myself or cutting up my johnson on my zipper trying to hide the fact that i got skin in hand.
Yeah rite? Wtf is that shit about? I can't sit & piss even in shorts
 
Joined
Jun 26, 2018
Messages
41
Likes
50
Current Location
Sebastian, Florida
#10
Well, I haven't had to do it in anything but shorts - I'm in Florida. I sit and pull the shorts to the side and let go - quickly. That is as graphic as I need to be I guess. Each there own, but at 55, it is not as easily held as it once was. :D Not unlike pissing in a gatorade bottle on a road trip.
 

SlankyLanky

the friendliest mod
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
2,226
Likes
1,559
Age
32
Current Location
richmond virginia, the east coasts portland.
#11
Well, I haven't had to do it in anything but shorts - I'm in Florida. I sit and pull the shorts to the side and let go - quickly.
i just dont see how this is any more practical then just pissing behind a building or on a wall, if a cop rolled up outta nowhere and told you to move on theres really nothing hiding the (what im assuming at this point since you had to piss so bad) giant piss puddle right under neath you.
 
Joined
Oct 3, 2018
Messages
53
Likes
43
Current Location
Vancouver
#14
I was once asked by a bored security guard "hey! What'ya doing there?".
He was like yelling at me, saving the day this hero fuck.
I was at the end, making sure no drops back in pants, so the asshole assumed I was jerking off or something.

I looked at him straight in the eyes and said "well, what do you think I was doing?"

What a jerk. It wasn't anywhere near children, or people for that matter. ANY reasonable person would understand I was just peeing
 

Mrcharwe

Newbie
StP Supporter
Joined
Oct 2, 2018
Messages
7
Likes
12
Current Location
Ogden, UT
#15
What I do is unzip your fly, kneel down on one knee, pull it out and go. If anyone looks, act like you are tying your shoe. It works best in grass, but you can do it between cars as long as the ground slopes away from your knee.
 

Tude

Sometimes traveler is traveling.
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
4,109
Likes
2,520
Age
60
Current Location
Rochester, NY
#16
Good lord - I work downtown - I see pissers all the time. Just keep on moving and remember what my sister said when we were in Mexico - "see that wet spot up ahead? Keep in mind that it has not rained here in 4 months - and there were many wet spots in the corners ...". Eyes down and step lightly. :)
 

mono

Newbie
StP Supporter
Joined
Jul 3, 2018
Messages
23
Likes
14
Current Location
World 2-1, Mushroom Kingdom
#17
can't speak for anywhere else but if you're ever in the UK i wouldn't worry about this - they don't give a shit as long as you're not very blatantly pissing in the middle of the street

if it seems like you've made even the vaguest bit of effort going somewhere people wouldn't normally go they'll likely let you off - unless you're very obviously drunk, at which point they might nab you for that instead
 

Similar threads

About us

  • Squat the Planet is the world's largest social network for misfit travelers. Join our community of do-it-yourself nomads and learn how to explore the world by any means necessary.

Donate to StP!

Donations go towards paying our monthly server fees, adding new features to the website, and occasionally putting a burrito in Matt's mouth.

Total amount
$50.00
Goal
$50.00

Latest Status Updates

Sip
Everybody rolls back around the way eventually. Hey STP, long time no see.
In Redding, CA in search of under the table work and pay to the east and north.
I'm over being stuck on felony probation. Got my license back and a car now though. So fuck them I'm driving out this town, they'll have to find me if they want to keep me!
Most people are utter fucking morons, myself included. THE END
Dose any body no were the 2019 Ocala rainbow gathering will be this year really interested in going
Any other harmonica players out there?
Uncle Tupelo is a moist motherfucker.
Nothing interesting happening here. Boring is better than drama so, I can't complain :)
One day you'll be washing yourself with hand soap in a public bathroom. And you'll be thinking, "How did i get here? Where the hell am I?" If the roles were reversed you coulda seen me sneaking up, sneaking up from behind.

Forum Statistics

Threads
23,163
Messages
211,520
Members
13,908
Threads in last 24 hours
10
Messages in last 24 hours
49
Members in last 30 days
891
Latest member
docbrawlstar