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Shia Laboeuf Song

Discussion in 'Art & Music' started by NutSac, May 16, 2017.

  1. NutSac

    NutSac Previously Tweiknecht

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    You're walking in the woods. There's no one around, And your phone is dead.
    Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, Shia LaBeouf.
    He's following you About 30 feet back.
    He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. He's gaining on you. Shia LaBeouf.

    You're looking for your car, But you're all turned around. He's almost upon you now
    And you can see there's blood on his face! My god, there's blood everywhere! Running for your life (From Shia LaBeouf.)
    He's brandishing a knife. (It's Shia LaBeouf.) Lurking in the shadows Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf.

    Living in the woods, (Shia LaBeouf.)
    Killing for sport, (Shia LaBeouf.)
    Eating all the bodies Actual, cannibal Shia LaBeouf.
    Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him, But you're hopelessly lost yourself.
    Stranded with a murderer, You creep silently through the underbrush. A-ha! In the distance, A small cottage with a light on.

    Hope! You move stealthily toward it, But your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap!

    Gnawing off your leg, (Quiet, quiet.)

    Limping toward the cottage, (Quiet, quiet.)

    Now you're on the doorstep, Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf. Sharpening an ax, (Shia LaBeouf.)
    But he doesn't hear you enter, (Shia LaBeouf.)
    You're sneaking up behind him. Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf.
    Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf,
    Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf,
    Stab it in his kidney.

    Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf. You limp into the dark woods, Blood oozing from your stump leg. But you have won. You have beaten Shia LaBeouf Wait! He isn't dead! Shia Surprise! There's a gun to your head, and death in his eyes. But you can do Jiu Jitsu Body Slam superstar Shia LaBeouf Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf But blood is draining fast from your stump leg He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck You're chopping off his head now You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf His head topples to the floor, expressionless You fall to your knees and catch your breath You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf
     
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  2. Pocket Viking

    Pocket Viking Sir Posts a Lot

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    This makes me sad.

    I like Shia LaBeouf.

    I'd like to think that if I ever met him in person (at the Jambo, hopefully? @EphemeralStick , how's that plan working out?), I'd join him in his cannibalism, Lol. ::eyepatch::
     
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  3. OP
    NutSac

    NutSac Previously Tweiknecht

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    I like him too!! LOL Especially since his Just Do It campaign.
     
  4. Brother X

    Brother X caput gerat lupinum
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  5. OP
    NutSac

    NutSac Previously Tweiknecht

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    Watch him in 2016's American Honey. He slathers lotion all over Elvis' granddaughter and diddles everything in sight.
     
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  6. EphemeralStick

    EphemeralStick Dusty Lil Van 'Mo
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    @Pocket Viking I can't find his twitter, I keep finding a shared one for some project he's working on with other people. Id rather not blow up the Jamboree with non traveling Shia-fans so I haven't tweeted at yet.

    At this point I'm just manifesting the crap out of it.

    SHIA AT THE JAMBOREE 2017 PEOPLE!
     
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  7. OP
    NutSac

    NutSac Previously Tweiknecht

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    Wait just a hotdarn minute: If yer invitin celebs to tha Jambo, then I would like to meet: Helen Hunt; Gary Sinise...Seal -definitely, Seal; ummmm, Rod Stewart...Billy Zane...
     
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  8. Pocket Viking

    Pocket Viking Sir Posts a Lot

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    How many of these people have hitchhiked across the country? Lol.
     
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  9. OP
    NutSac

    NutSac Previously Tweiknecht

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    LOL Well yea, In that case tha hell with rod stewart.
     
  10. Brother X

    Brother X caput gerat lupinum
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    @thecampaignbook is his only Twitter presence now.
     
  11. EphemeralStick

    EphemeralStick Dusty Lil Van 'Mo
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    @Brother X gaaaah, yeah I was afraid of that.
     
  12. Cornelius Vango

    Cornelius Vango One of the Regulars

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    I tried this last year, found the same shit. Messaged him casually on a couple different sites. Nothing. Obviously, he doesn't know where it's at if he's not lurking on STP.
     
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