So I ran out of gas on a country gravel road bc the temp agency I work for pays when and if they damn well feel like it! Sidenote: USC stands for we'll pay you if and when we want to. This direct deposit is five days late and shits getting old. They did pay at midnight last night but I couldn't check the phone right then bc I was busy getting my license run for warrants.
Back to the story. So I run out right at dark on the country road. Normally I'd just take my jug and start walking hoping for a ride and a couple of gallons to get in the woods undercover. This particular road is used as a bypass for the highway so the drunks don't get DUIs so I'm safer in place. There's a few houses a mile further down the road and a mile back but it's dark and these people love their guns more than they love their Jesus. So I better stay put until the morning. I called a guy I work with and asked him bring me five gallons in the morning, he said he would, it's all cool. I just have to wait until 630, right?
I told him I was fine where I was but I knew I wasn't. As soon as the truck died I KNEW, I mean there was no doubt in my mind, I KNEW that I'd be having a law enforcement encounter before morning. A lot of times they get racist with me trying to be witty but I thought maybe I'd get some gas out of it. I got nothing to hide and I'm doing nothing wrong.
I started to post on here that I'd be hassled before dawn. I was so sure of it that I would've laid 100 to 1 odds on it. I thought I was just being paranoid with how rough things have been lately so I didn't post.
I waited until 10 and crawled into the back of the SUV to get some sleep. This SUV has factory tinted windows that are so dark that they're illegal in some states. There is no way someone could have seen me, no matter what the fucked asshole said. Then ten minutes till midnight the feeling became reality.
The state trooper passed from front to back the first time and as he passed every hair on the back of my neck stood up. I KNEW it was a cop. So much so that by the time he had turned around a quarter of a mile down the road, before he'd even popped the lights, I was already in the front seat.
The cop was actually very decent this time. I explained my situation in detail, repeating the fact that I had gas coming at 630 several times. Told him where I worked, why I had run out of gas in the first place. I thought he'd go get some gas for me to get off the road but it was late, the nearest station is twenty miles one direction, fifteen in the other. I don't blame him, it's my mistake not his. He asked if I had weapons, I told him just pocket knives then offered to dig them out. He didn't care. Then I told him that he could run my license to which he replied he was about to. So he runs it, I'm clean, he comes back to talk.
He then informs me that the reason he's here (it's State patrol on a gravel road at midnight) is that someone drove by and saw me laying in the back trying to hide from them. He asked if I had anyone else in there to which I lift the back glass and let him shine the light until he's content. I apologized for any inconveniences to anyone but here's what I meant. Here's the rant.
Fuck you to whichever punk ass motherfuckin, choad sucking bitch called the police in the first place. Maybe your busy body, bitch ass should be more worried about your drunk, stoned fucking ass getting a DUI on this road at midnight instead of who I'm 'trying to hide from'. Yeah I'm laying in my truck, I'm trying to get some sleep, you fuck, I live here but I didn't choose to stop here around nosey fucks like you. You know what, I'm wrong, your a great fucking person, you twat. I think you deserve some kind of nosey punk bitch rat of the year award. I hope the medal is huge and I hope when they give it to you that they jam it so far up your tight fucking ass that they pin it through your tonsils. Let's see who you call and what you say then you fucking dickwart! What the world needs right now is one less punk ass, rat bitch like you in it. Believe it or not you fucking nosey asshole, I have no reason on this Earth to lay down and hide like a bitch from anyone, no matter what badge they happen to be wearing. Once again, trying smelling your own shit for once before you go sticking your fat nose up other people's ass. You fucking rat bastard, you deserve whatever karma comes to you from this.
Readers may notice the word bitch was used several or more times during the course of this rant. Twat was also used at least once. This is in no way meant to demean the female portion of the species as some of the biggest bitch-twats I've ever met called themselves men. They actually acted like they had a set of balls and everything. I'm pretty sure whoever called was a guy, I have no basis for that, it just feels right. Fucking people!?!
I feel better although whoever the 'good sumaritan, yet completely worthless use of human life', choad sucker is will never see it. Probably better that you don't see this post you fucking asshole, it may ruin your over-privledged, over inflated self image of such a worthless piece of shit as yourself - you fuck.
The cop was cool, I still could've used some gas but he gave me his card in case anyone else calls tonight.
That is all, have a great day!
Back to the story. So I run out right at dark on the country road. Normally I'd just take my jug and start walking hoping for a ride and a couple of gallons to get in the woods undercover. This particular road is used as a bypass for the highway so the drunks don't get DUIs so I'm safer in place. There's a few houses a mile further down the road and a mile back but it's dark and these people love their guns more than they love their Jesus. So I better stay put until the morning. I called a guy I work with and asked him bring me five gallons in the morning, he said he would, it's all cool. I just have to wait until 630, right?
I told him I was fine where I was but I knew I wasn't. As soon as the truck died I KNEW, I mean there was no doubt in my mind, I KNEW that I'd be having a law enforcement encounter before morning. A lot of times they get racist with me trying to be witty but I thought maybe I'd get some gas out of it. I got nothing to hide and I'm doing nothing wrong.
I started to post on here that I'd be hassled before dawn. I was so sure of it that I would've laid 100 to 1 odds on it. I thought I was just being paranoid with how rough things have been lately so I didn't post.
I waited until 10 and crawled into the back of the SUV to get some sleep. This SUV has factory tinted windows that are so dark that they're illegal in some states. There is no way someone could have seen me, no matter what the fucked asshole said. Then ten minutes till midnight the feeling became reality.
The state trooper passed from front to back the first time and as he passed every hair on the back of my neck stood up. I KNEW it was a cop. So much so that by the time he had turned around a quarter of a mile down the road, before he'd even popped the lights, I was already in the front seat.
The cop was actually very decent this time. I explained my situation in detail, repeating the fact that I had gas coming at 630 several times. Told him where I worked, why I had run out of gas in the first place. I thought he'd go get some gas for me to get off the road but it was late, the nearest station is twenty miles one direction, fifteen in the other. I don't blame him, it's my mistake not his. He asked if I had weapons, I told him just pocket knives then offered to dig them out. He didn't care. Then I told him that he could run my license to which he replied he was about to. So he runs it, I'm clean, he comes back to talk.
He then informs me that the reason he's here (it's State patrol on a gravel road at midnight) is that someone drove by and saw me laying in the back trying to hide from them. He asked if I had anyone else in there to which I lift the back glass and let him shine the light until he's content. I apologized for any inconveniences to anyone but here's what I meant. Here's the rant.
Fuck you to whichever punk ass motherfuckin, choad sucking bitch called the police in the first place. Maybe your busy body, bitch ass should be more worried about your drunk, stoned fucking ass getting a DUI on this road at midnight instead of who I'm 'trying to hide from'. Yeah I'm laying in my truck, I'm trying to get some sleep, you fuck, I live here but I didn't choose to stop here around nosey fucks like you. You know what, I'm wrong, your a great fucking person, you twat. I think you deserve some kind of nosey punk bitch rat of the year award. I hope the medal is huge and I hope when they give it to you that they jam it so far up your tight fucking ass that they pin it through your tonsils. Let's see who you call and what you say then you fucking dickwart! What the world needs right now is one less punk ass, rat bitch like you in it. Believe it or not you fucking nosey asshole, I have no reason on this Earth to lay down and hide like a bitch from anyone, no matter what badge they happen to be wearing. Once again, trying smelling your own shit for once before you go sticking your fat nose up other people's ass. You fucking rat bastard, you deserve whatever karma comes to you from this.
Readers may notice the word bitch was used several or more times during the course of this rant. Twat was also used at least once. This is in no way meant to demean the female portion of the species as some of the biggest bitch-twats I've ever met called themselves men. They actually acted like they had a set of balls and everything. I'm pretty sure whoever called was a guy, I have no basis for that, it just feels right. Fucking people!?!
I feel better although whoever the 'good sumaritan, yet completely worthless use of human life', choad sucker is will never see it. Probably better that you don't see this post you fucking asshole, it may ruin your over-privledged, over inflated self image of such a worthless piece of shit as yourself - you fuck.
The cop was cool, I still could've used some gas but he gave me his card in case anyone else calls tonight.
That is all, have a great day!
