Need advice about this situation with this girl.

[content2roam]

Well, I met this girl and right off the bat there was a connection...so we ended up hooking up and all that good stuff. I told her im not looking for a relationship right now and she said she feels the same way. Im heading west to Cali/oregon area at the end of september and she said she wanted to come. She's real clingy and got mad when I told her again that I didnt want a relationship...
Well the question is, shes getting real clingy and wants to spend every second with me. How do I make sure I don't have to hurt her? Like i've stated that I don't want a relationship numerous times but she keeps on treating the whole deal as if im her man..
I don't know if I should head west with her cause I think that might make her think were more then what we are.
So any help would be great,
Thanks.

 

[Yell]

there is no way to break off a clinger without hurting her feelings. It's like ripping off a bandaid.

 

[Karalaine]

I think roaddogs have a more intimate realationship than most "non-tramp" couples do. So if you cant stand to spend every min. of your day together i wouldnt travel with someone long term. If shes never been out before definately dont bring her along, if you guys decide it isnt gonna work in say detroit, it would be aweful to leave her in such a seedy place. But you never kno, me and my boyfriend met on the road and i wasnt so sure if i liked him at all when we first met, but after getting stuck on the same grainer porches, eating the same cans of tuna, and dealing with the elements together, we got to kno and love eachother in a couple weeks. well i guess before sept. figure out if she would make a good traveling partner, and be able to hold her own or not. well sorry i cant give you any good advice on how not to hurt her feelings, im mean, i usually ditch ppl passed out drunk if their safe, or just tell them that its not gonna work and they need to be on a different train, or hitch a seperate ride from me later that day. well good luck. let me kno if you make it to oregon.

 

[vandalette]

If she's a stage 5 clinger you wont ever get her off your dick. You will unfortunately hurt her. My advice, i think you should let her know that you wanna travel alone. But firmly let her know this and don't end the conversation til its clear to her what you want. (Even if going alone is not really what you wanna do) She's probably a sweet girl but is a little too much sometimes, right? You may not want this kinda girl to go with you, especially if you don't want a relationship. Because you guys will spend every waking moment together, every walk in the blistering heat, and share everything you have. But on the other hand if this girl is that clingly to you, she will most definitely have your back. And having someone there to cuddle with you every night is comforting. If your a loner then these things shouldn't bother you and ditching the girl shouldn't be so hard. In my experience having a roaddog is awesome and definitely brings you closer then ever. Me and my boyfriend just started our relationship a month before we decided to catch out together and we have an amazing relationship now. You really get to know everything about that person, it will either make you or break you. Good luck with the chick, hopefully there's no hard feelings.
-Vlette

 

[Amish]

theres no way to be the nice guy in this kinda situation, no matter what you do youll end up hurting her, if shes clings shes got some insecurities sell need to deal with and that means even if you did hook up with her and travel with you shell more then likely end up making you want to stab yourself in the heart with rusty spoon

 

[Diagaro]

just leave her at the first waffle house you see.
Make it clear that shes an annoying millstone and that she needs to be like everybody else

 

[content2roam]

I appriciate all the advice.
Shes a really cool girl. Definitly not a sweetheart type chick but definitly alittle clingy. And it definitly makes sence that I shouldt travel with her since even though she would have my back, shes completly different when it comes to our ideals, im pretty sure shes just trying to run from a shitty situation here and my attitude of just bouncing to go explore seems alot better then what she has now.
She wants to save up her money to pay for bus tickets, stay in hotels and such. While my way of traveling using involves hitching and just having a pack and eventualy making it there. I've only hopped locally and im trying to get some more rides under my belt and i mentioned it to her and she told me shed meet me where ever I would be heading.
I might just have to be kinda mean/straight forward and end whatever it is that is happening. Im just not an asshole so it makes shit like this kinda hard ya know.
Im going to explain to her im lookin for a road dog that down to hop, hitch, sleep under bridges and spange and I know shes not down for all that.
Thanks for the help

 

[614 crust]

Yeah ditch her before it gets too bad

 

[anyways]

Just pee yourself every time you guys are sleeping next to each other... and blatantly hit on other girls in front of her too, just to make the point. Cause I don't think she'll get the piss thing, that's just to gross her out.

Stick your finger up her butt when you guys fuck (unless she likes that) and call her Mommy while she blows you.

Oh and every time she looks at you adoringly, wipe a booger on her face and say, "Awwww, as soft as kleenex"


If your problem isn't solved by then...I really don't know what to tell you

 

[BUMJUG]

run run away...id be the best thing you could do for her.....you might even run into her later down the line and things would be cool again if she has gotten on her feet by then....

 

[bananathrash]

maybe she cares about you, and values you as her friend, and just thinks if you leave shell never see you or hear from you again. if you mean it, tell her no one can replace her character in your life. explain that only yous twos interactions will affect the course of your friendship. sit down and be upfront and honest about your intentions and feelings. i mean, i guess you could take someone elses advice here and be a total dirtbag, but its way more complicated that way.

pain is a necessary component of life, but you dont need to over do it. you could also tell her youd maybe like to hangout sometime on the west coast, if you would, but be clear about your intentions, and that means dont sleep with her. maybe itll motivate her to actually go; she could just be afraid because she doesnt know who to hangout with wherever.

really, with anything, honesty is what you should strive for.

 

[content2roam]

maybe she cares about you, and values you as her friend, and just thinks if you leave shell never see you or hear from you again. if you mean it, tell her no one can replace her character in your life. explain that only yous twos interactions will affect the course of your friendship. sit down and be upfront and honest about your intentions and feelings. i mean, i guess you could take someone elses advice here and be a total dirtbag, but its way more complicated that way.

pain is a necessary component of life, but you dont need to over do it. you could also tell her youd maybe like to hangout sometime on the west coast, if you would, but be clear about your intentions, and that means dont sleep with her. maybe itll motivate her to actually go; she could just be afraid because she doesnt know who to hangout with wherever.

really, with anything, honesty is what you should strive for.

I sat her down and was completely nice about what I said. I just said im not looking for any form of relationship and she got all offended. I mean she claims shes on the same page but whenever shes blowing up my phone 24/7, calling me sweetie and wanting to always be together its kinda hard to believe that she was on the same page. Im done hooking up with her cause after we do it seems like she gets more clingy...it was supposed to just be friends with benifits...shes the one that mentioned that but that usually never works out in my past experiences

 

[bananathrash]

I sat her down and was completely nice about what I said. I just said im not looking for any form of relationship and she got all offended. I mean she claims shes on the same page but whenever shes blowing up my phone 24/7, calling me sweetie and wanting to always be together its kinda hard to believe that she was on the same page. Im done hooking up with her cause after we do it seems like she gets more clingy...it was supposed to just be friends with benifits...shes the one that mentioned that but that usually never works out in my past experiences

Bummertime! Some people just have a hard time with self reflection: It kinda sounds like she hasnt given whats goin on a whole lotta thought, and is functioning on raw emotion. So, all you can do is give it your best. Id say youre best off just letting making sure she knows that you arent on the same page, and then ceasing contact. If you have any kind of emotional attachment to her, you could just set an unannounced (to her) day youll call her and see how shes doin, in a month or two. Ya can always decide if its worth it a little later.

I think "friends with benefits" never works because its implied there is an emotional line you cannot cross. You are there for each other only to fulfill a sexual desire, and there can be no passion or romance. Sure, you can have sex with your friends, but telling someone you can only fuck doesnt seem like a very positive interaction to me.

 

[Gypsy Smile]

Aha, yes i think we have all been in situations of sorts like this before.

Okay, this is either one of two situations.

EITHER She *was* on the same page as you, Agreeing to no more than just friends with benefits, But then she fell for you and now this is her way of trying not to lose you (by saying she is still on the same page as you) and trying her hardest to make you feel the same way because she now can't help the way she feels.

OR She's in denial, Obsessive and probably has your name written on everything, thinks about you 24/7, Makes little doodles in her notebook about marrying you with hearts everywhere and has a list of kid names.

DUDE. WATCH OUT.

Try explaining to her that she needs to back off a little bit, and try to remind her that you guys are just friends with benefits.
She sounds like she isnt exactly the friends with benefits type.

my last girlfriend was like that.

YIKES MAN!
I wish you the best brother.
Let me know how that goes brother!

 

[Mouse]

she prolly used that whole "I dont want a relationship either!" b.s. just to get closer to you. Girls, like guys, will say anything to get laid.. only bad part is that girls, unlike guys, will get attached and LIE about it to keep you attached.

 

[MiztressWinter]

Ah, that situation sucks. Maybe she thought she could handle just being *friends with benefits* but then got attached to you after the sex. Some girls put sex and love in the same catagory and can't have one without the other. There ARE chicks out there that can handle it, but some can't. Maybe she was just one of those that couldn't. Either way, the deed is done now. Better off you ended it now then dragged it out.

 

[shwillyhaaa]

i would just sneak off into the night...
ninja style *hiyah!
but yes some poeple think they can handle freinds with benefits
i have tried and hated it... there fore i will not do it again
good meaningful sex requires a good emotional relationship
if you need to get off but dont want a relationship... masterbate
i cant think of any more humane way to go about it.

 

[MiztressWinter]

good meaningful sex requires a good emotional relationship
if you need to get off but dont want a relationship... masterbate
i cant think of any more humane way to go about it.

Well said, and I couldn't agree more.

 

[notconnerR]

This is such an awful forum...

 

[MiztressWinter]

This is such an awful forum...

Then why are you here?