I deleted myself
So. i am having trouble letting go of the past. my mother just sucks shes really the worst i only thank her for life and thats not the best ,she was never the motherly type i suffered abuse and neglect and all manner of horror. i dont have a father on my birth cert it just says unknown. i have 4 other siblings we all have different fathers.blah blah blah i have lots of family issues. anyways when i get angry or stressed i just lament about her inadequate child rearing skills. it drives me mad to the point i just want to ruin her life/harm her, but this always has ill effects on the rest of my siblings. can anyone help me with ideas on how to let it all go. to just put all the nastiness behind me so i can move on? i seem to be drawn back "home" all the time so trying to just run and stick to the road it is difficult. i guess im asking when uncontrolled memories pop up and hurt you how do you just push them down or just let them go ,drugs help sometimes but then i come down and its just as bad or worse. i dont know what im really asking here i guess how do i just let go? i really just want to be free from the pain i keep re-living. i ran away at 16 and im 37 now so this really is a long standing issue.