Is this a date? (1 Viewer)


Deleted member 14481

I closed my account
"Is it a date if only one of you has declared it to be one?"

The answer is "no". Going out with someone CAN be called a "date" with the social meaning that comes with "date" includes romantic intent. Romantic intent has to be addressed and consensual.

I learned that today.
We sell all kinds of other stuff in our Etsy store!

Desperado Deluxe

Wise Sage
Apr 20, 2010
I think a date is just a day on a calendar it's a significator of an appointed place and specific time the whole romantic intent thing is secondary.


Chasing the Darkness
Jan 4, 2009
Montreal, Canada
Ya I use the word date all the time with buddies and strangers alike. I've been in a committed relationship for 10 years. The word has no romantic connotation to me what so ever....

Matt Derrick

Permanent Wanderer
Staff member
Aug 4, 2006
Austin, TX
"Is it a date if only one of you has declared it to be one?"

The answer is "no". Going out with someone CAN be called a "date" with the social meaning that comes with "date" includes romantic intent. Romantic intent has to be addressed and consensual.

I learned that today.

You really gotta work on those titles my friend :p

Corrected thread title for grammatical errors.


plastic wingnut in a microwave
Sep 23, 2009
folks who know me have my #.
well.. one should always ask permission before engaging in cannibalism, i guess..

i mean, i've had people try & throw *me* into a stew pot, with the best of intentions, but.. it always left me feeling a bit... wary... afterwards..

but yeah, there's a lot of variation, from the casual "yeah! let's hike out to the mountain this friday" & the reply "sure! it's a date!"

& the "you know, i really like you. would you like to go out on a date?"

to the slimely "i know we said we were just going out to get something to eat, but i meant it as a date!" (when actually just looking to make a fucking pass)

now.. some confusion can occur when one person has a crush on another & projects that crush..
nothing harmfull, but sometimes friendship can be misread.. so,, don't jump too hard if you've known them for a while.. it's tough to break that kind of reality to someone, especially when you're not aware of it, but at least it can be accepted as a kind of a compliment, however sad, perhaps..

also (& i dunno if this is relevant), but don't read too much into someone enjoying your company, if they're not passing innuendo.. i mean, i really, really enjoy doing things with people.. i get a bit miffed when assumptions are made based upon what my reasons for doing so are *expected* to be..

you don't give a lot of context or detail, so we can't really understand what might have been going through the others head, but it seems to me they were either shady (which sucks from someone you trust) or innocent (which just means being infatuatedly stupid)..

hopefully it was the second, at worst..
Last edited:


Jan 6, 2016
Marietta, GA
I use the phrase "It's a date" all of the time with friends and strangers as well.

I definitely try to make sure the other party knows that I am asking them out with the intent of dating, usually after I've established I like them.

Deleted member 14481

I closed my account
@Matt Derrick

Actually, their is no such thing as proper grammar. As long as you clearly convey what you are saying you said it properly.

But, for the record,

Ok, back to the subject.


I closed my account
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Deleted member 14481

I closed my account
Well, at least everyone's having fun.

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