Idk

[Deleted member 17194]

So I am not really travelling, or making a name for myself, or being cool... in fact I am just waiting around most of the time. I have some fun appointments coming up with the dentist and a doctor to diagnose this peutrid leasion on my leg. Oh, I have a latent TB infection... Nothing too exciting going on over here... Just working on wellness or health and that mostly seems to include waiting without fucking up any more biology. Not so many years ago I thought I wanted to be an antichrist, The Antichrist, or maybe immaculately concieve The Antichrist and have him tare a hole in me and climb out... now I am mainly just focused on getting well and hope and pray to be a good father someday soon but not really soon. I talk to Jesus and things seem all right overall. I guess my demons left. I still live outside... maybe now that I don't spend every waking hour begging for drugs I will enjoy life more... and if it all falls through at least I know I can spend every waking hour begging for drugs to keep my mind off of my hopes and dreams.

Oh, I just quit a job and when I get paid I am getting new cheap gear and moving out into the woods with my phone.... which doesn't even have any porn on it. Just algebra books, an old game, a Bible, and some weird new age hippie shit. I will have A Warm Gun to listen to while hatcheting some firewood - thx for that!!

 

[Garminbozia]

Huh...That was an interesting read. Will you travel after your "fun" appointments?

 

[Deleted member 17194]

?I am not sure what you mean.

 

[SophiaII]

?I am not sure what you mean.

will you travel after you get your teeth done?

 

[Deleted member 17194]

Oh! Ya, when I like leaving I will go somewhere and do something somewhere. I dont really hang out with too many groups because I am allergic to cigarette smoke and who doesn't smoke? I don't really have any plans. I would hate to say I am going to go do something because tomorrow I will have a totally different idea. I just do what I feel right now and now that includes getting well.

 

[Garminbozia]

Ah, iight, well happy adventuring

 

[SophiaII]

Oh! Ya, when I like leaving I will go somewhere and do something somewhere. I dont really hang out with too many groups because I am allergic to cigarette smoke and who doesn't smoke? I don't really have any plans. I would hate to say I am going to go do something because tomorrow I will have a totally different idea. I just do what I feel right now and now that includes getting well.

i actually don't smoke cigarettes and never have

 

[Deleted member 17194]

Sophiall, way to be healthy. I was raised around bars, clubs, and addicts like myself so I guess my body decided to finally say fuck off to cigarette smoke. About travel… Right now I have a TB infection keeping me grounded in Austin where I am in treatment. I used to have fun meeting new people but I got hooked on harder drugs and sort of lost it… if I move around I am just running from an addiction that follows me wherever I go.

I can say I have been fortunate to eat good… good food, good vibes, good ideas, good drugs… all kinds of good. I have a few dollars on the way so while I am grounded with TB I have the means to get the instruments I need to work on some music. My legs are tired after running from myself and I have to do something good with all this good I ate.

My penis is limp… (grumble) Maybe from all those good drugs I ate.. So music, creativity, and creative productivity are my focus. I scavenged a tent today

I should have the tools I need to start getting the music out of me by the end of next week, so maybe I can take some constructive / destructive criticism when I have some soundbytes to share.

 

[AlwaysLost]

Hope you get feeling better soon heard those TB drugs are a rough ride.

 

[Deleted member 17194]

Hope you get feeling better soon heard those TB drugs are a rough ride.

Idk, they have me pissing red but that is about it. Feeling alright. Sitting still is getting old and still grounded for 2 months.

 

[Garminbozia]

Do you know where you want to go first?

 

[Deleted member 17194]

Going to go visit my fam for the holidays and work from now until the new year. After that there is the pull to go ski Red River if the conditions are right. $300 will get a 3 day lift ticket and cover rentals. The price is worth it.. Then idk really.

There is a lot out there and I really want to become more independent. I am growing tired of depending on handouts and I don't see myself going to work somewhere every day being stuck in one place... Don't really know the solution to the issue, but if I can have a good time going places then there is a start.

Got the railroad atlas but don't know shit about trains. Rather study up a bit instead of walking the highway hoping for a ride... Who knows maybe anything.

The Jamboree sounds like it was a good time. Next year seems to be a once in a lifetime... Hoping really just to meet some friends I get along with and learn a few things about self reliance.

What have you experienced on your travels, Garminbozia?

 

[Garminbozia]

Holy smokes, I experienced a lot. From witnessing someone becoming physcophrenic on a boat I work on to loosing traction on a mountain and getting stuck for the night. From exploring "the haunted" place, Waverly sanitorium to having a couple epic food challenges. A lot of hiking and other stuff too. And this January will be the two year mark of adventuring. It has definitely been a blessing choosing to do this. I've pretty much been doing this on my own too, so if you have any questions about being self reliant, ask away and hopefully I can help.

 

[Deleted member 17194]

Sounds like it. Man, so far off from self reliance it is hardly a conception. Sometimes I wish there were no cities at all.. feels like without one I'd of had to learn how to live a life. Still gave me a lot of food tho. Right now I am still way back here at outfitting, but have some gear building up. Far far from being my own personal grid, eatin without a spoon, and loving my baby and all that american Spirit.

 

[Garminbozia]

Sounds like it. Man, so far off from self reliance it is hardly a conception. Sometimes I wish there were no cities at all.. feels like without one I'd of had to learn how to live a life. Still gave me a lot of food tho. Right now I am still way back here at outfitting, but have some gear building up. Far far from being my own personal grid, eatin without a spoon, and loving my baby and all that american Spirit.

What do you mean by "eatin without a spoon"?

 

[Deleted member 17194]

Feeding myself. I have been relying on bumfeeds and handouts for a while... Idk where the expression came from never heard it.

 

[Garminbozia]

I've never QUOTE="HardenedClay, post: 215076, member: 17194"]Feeding myself. I have been relying on bumfeeds and handouts for a while... Idk where the expression came from never heard it.

[/QUOTE]
I've never heard it either

 

[Deleted member 17194]

Idk if I am running away from myself, trying to find myself, lost, or just home. As soon as I make a plan with anyone things change for me or I get a new opportunity. Everything just synced up for me in my hometown... Got my hands on 2 part time jobs with individuals, a little piece of heaven, and maybe I will even attend the church I grew up in. Nobody from my family lives here anymore.. My dad's side is all dead and my mom and step family moved elsewhere, so it is just me. Fucked up thing is I grew up here and I don't know anyone in the whole place.

 

[Garminbozia]

Well bro, it really sounds like you're not grounded. Mentally and physically. You need some sort of stability to make a clear path to reach your goals. If you're unsure of why you want to do something, I would figure that out first. Before you do anything. Otherwise you will just drift around and not know what kind of position you'll be in later down the road. Later in life. Sure this site is for nomads of whatever sort, but I'm sure the majority of people here have a reason for living a nomadic lifestyle. And have goals as well.

What do you want out of life?