How come this guy i just met didnt make plans to see me again? or kiss me goodbye! (1 Viewer)

Childgoddess

Wanderer
Joined
May 17, 2013
Messages
202
Location
North Western Ontario
I don't have much experience in knowing if guys like me, besides the obvious, I think this current guy I'm with no longer give a shit about me, I just find this nomad type of guy, he's a bit younger, native. somehow we ended up partying together, we were both pretty hungover, we some how ended up cuddling, and falling asleep with on another, I don't know if we was trying to purposely ignore me, whenever I was trying to talk to him, he didn't answer back, then I asked again, are you trying to ignore me? then he you talk so low I don't even know what your saying, yeah for two nights he stayed with me, the first night he said he wanted to go the bar for a bit, guy didn't come for like 4 hours later, he said he ran into his cousin, smoked some weed, that's what took him so long. I answered the door he said " see I would come back, then he started cuddling, caressing my skin, scratching my back, offering me sex, just being affectionate" no sex or anything, then last night he was kinda cuddling me, but it sounded like he was getting sick holding me and seemed uncomfortable, moving around like every 4 seconds, maybe im just being paranoid and weird cuz I have extreme anxiety, it started making me feel like there was something wrong with me that cuz I haven't showered in like 4 days, maybe I smelt bad, I asked that the day before, he said no, so I don't know what was up with him, maybe he's hungover, sick, cant hold me, then all this morning he didn't even hold me, I asked this morning if he was leaving cuz I have shit to do, and I don't wanna be one of those people where homeless, druggies or whoever can use my place as a flop house,, then he said yeah this the time you usually gets up and does shit, I wanted to ask why he wasn't holding me or give a kiss on the cheek or a hug, but I didn't want to come across as weird and needy cuz we just spent all day yesterday doing shit, we were just hung over and slept together, he held me pretty tight all day, just really sweet and physically affectionate, then when I asked him "how come he came back for me", he said cuz he liked me and that he said he would be back for me, that he was thinking of me when he left. Even yesterday he left for something to eat, said he was gonna be right back, and he was. So what gives??? how come he didn't even hold me or anything, he didn't seem really eager to leave, just kinda got this vibe that he knew he had to leave, I know we aren't dating, but how come he didn't kiss me on the cheek, give a hug or anything or even hold me this morning. I want to ask him this, but we aren't even dating, he just told me see you later probably around grace place later, its a place homeless people go eat. I asked once before how come you don't have a girlfriend, he said cuz he's too busy for one.

How come he didn't suggest meeting up with me? makes plans, yeah we did spent 2 nights already together, he said he even said no to other girl friends that even had money and drinks, and if we do see one another. I'm so confused about this guy. If he likes me right, I should just let him come to me right???
 
Click here to buy the Anarchist's Guide to Travel!

Eng JR Lupo RV323

Jerk bouncer with an attitude
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
1,838
Location
530 Rackerby, California
Website
youtu.be
I don't have much experience in knowing if guys like me, besides the obvious, I think this current guy I'm with no longer give a shit about me, I just find this nomad type of guy, he's a bit younger, native. somehow we ended up partying together, we were both pretty hungover, we some how ended up cuddling, and falling asleep with on another, I don't know if we was trying to purposely ignore me, whenever I was trying to talk to him, he didn't answer back, then I asked again, are you trying to ignore me? then he you talk so low I don't even know what your saying, yeah for two nights he stayed with me, the first night he said he wanted to go the bar for a bit, guy didn't come for like 4 hours later, he said he ran into his cousin, smoked some weed, that's what took him so long. I answered the door he said " see I would come back, then he started cuddling, caressing my skin, scratching my back, offering me sex, just being affectionate" no sex or anything, then last night he was kinda cuddling me, but it sounded like he was getting sick holding me and seemed uncomfortable, moving around like every 4 seconds, maybe im just being paranoid and weird cuz I have extreme anxiety, it started making me feel like there was something wrong with me that cuz I haven't showered in like 4 days, maybe I smelt bad, I asked that the day before, he said no, so I don't know what was up with him, maybe he's hungover, sick, cant hold me, then all this morning he didn't even hold me, I asked this morning if he was leaving cuz I have shit to do, and I don't wanna be one of those people where homeless, druggies or whoever can use my place as a flop house,, then he said yeah this the time you usually gets up and does shit, I wanted to ask why he wasn't holding me or give a kiss on the cheek or a hug, but I didn't want to come across as weird and needy cuz we just spent all day yesterday doing shit, we were just hung over and slept together, he held me pretty tight all day, just really sweet and physically affectionate, then when I asked him "how come he came back for me", he said cuz he liked me and that he said he would be back for me, that he was thinking of me when he left. Even yesterday he left for something to eat, said he was gonna be right back, and he was. So what gives??? how come he didn't even hold me or anything, he didn't seem really eager to leave, just kinda got this vibe that he knew he had to leave, I know we aren't dating, but how come he didn't kiss me on the cheek, give a hug or anything or even hold me this morning. I want to ask him this, but we aren't even dating, he just told me see you later probably around grace place later, its a place homeless people go eat. I asked once before how come you don't have a girlfriend, he said cuz he's too busy for one.

How come he didn't suggest meeting up with me? makes plans, yeah we did spent 2 nights already together, he said he even said no to other girl friends that even had money and drinks, and if we do see one another. I'm so confused about this guy. If he likes me right, I should just let him come to me right???

You know.. I'm probably gonna get a bunch of shit for this comment but after following your past posts and now this masterpiece.. it's just really hard to resist.

Why didn't he kiss you, hold you, make plans with you, suggest meeting up with you, hold you, talk to you?

How the fuck would any of us know that? What a shitty post. I feel so much dumber after reading all that nonsense. And also, since you've been here every single profile post has been "my boyfriend is in jail again I don't know what to do what should I do?

People give you advice and you literally listen to none of it because you're constantly repeating the same exact patterns. I think I counted 6 posts within like 7 months where he was back in jail and you're asking the exact same things every time.

Now it appears you've finally graduated from the guy who can't figure out how to stay out of jail for 3 days to a guy who isn't interested in you. Boy, I sure do hope you're gonna grace us with at least a dozen more posts asking why this guy isn't into you. Those are gonna be some quality posts! This is exactly what STP was created for.
 

iamwhatiam

Burrito fund contributor
StP Supporter
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
1,054
Age
36
Location
Foothills of the Cascades, western WA
You know.. I'm probably gonna get a bunch of shit for this comment but after following your past posts and now this masterpiece.. it's just really hard to resist.

Why didn't he kiss you, hold you, make plans with you, suggest meeting up with you, hold you, talk to you?

How the fuck would any of us know that? What a shitty post. I feel so much dumber after reading all that nonsense. And also, since you've been here every single profile post has been "my boyfriend is in jail again I don't know what to do what should I do?

People give you advice and you literally listen to none of it because you're constantly repeating the same exact patterns. I think I counted 6 posts within like 7 months where he was back in jail and you're asking the exact same things every time.

Now it appears you've finally graduated from the guy who can't figure out how to stay out of jail for 3 days to a guy who isn't interested in you. Boy, I sure do hope you're gonna grace us with at least a dozen more posts asking why this guy isn't into you. Those are gonna be some quality posts! This is exactly what STP was created for.
Nah, you're right. I was thinking the exact same thing. How the fuck are we supposed to understand what's going on in this guy's head. It could be a number of things.

Maybe he has a mental illness and/or drug problem. Maybe he's just using her for a place to stay. Maybe OP is making a mountain out of a molehill and needs to stop over analyzing and being clingy over a dude she just met. Who knows?

But one thing seems certain.....this isn't the last dumpster fire of a post we have to look forward to!
 
D

Deleted member 125

I deleted myself
Iv tried to be very sympathetic in the past to yer posts because relationship drama is difficult to go through and I totally get wanting to reach out and get advice, but come on dude, this is such a blanket question for us to answer without knowing you or this person.

Youv been given what I would say has been really solid advice about yer previous relationship and seem to have ignored it (going from yer profile post that I commented on not to long ago).

What yer asking is basically "why doesnt someone like me?" And I truly have no fucking clue. Maybe you should work on yerself before jumping into more drama involving a dude who may or may not give a shit about you. I dont mean that in a negative way, but to me (what the fuck do I know though) it sure seems like you got alot going on without adding more stress and drama to yer life right now.
 
D

Deleted member 24782

I deleted myself
I think they're using STP as place to vent feelings. Regardless of who's listening, were all guilty of this at least a little.
 

Eng JR Lupo RV323

Jerk bouncer with an attitude
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
1,838
Location
530 Rackerby, California
Website
youtu.be
Yeah maybe so but when that's all it's used for.. I don't think I'm the only one who feels like there's gotta be a better place for that. Facebook.., Reddit, I'm sure there's a subreddit for exactly that. Plus it just gets a little tiresome when someone's always asking for advice and they never seem to take that advice. Energy vampires.
 

WyldLyfe

I'm a d-bag and got banned.
Banned
Joined
Jun 3, 2019
Messages
233
Location
tasmania
Probably because not everything revolves around you, miss.. or ya know, it can kinda get annoying for us guys when we don't do something, like OP was saying a kiss on the cheek was missed, or no text back straight away ect.. and you girls start looking way into it, like was it this, or that, or why? when really we just didn't even think it mattered and its like... nothing, no issue on our end, what the heck? to us ya know? just saying.
 

Childgoddess

Wanderer
Joined
May 17, 2013
Messages
202
Location
North Western Ontario
Iv tried to be very sympathetic in the past to yer posts because relationship drama is difficult to go through and I totally get wanting to reach out and get advice, but come on dude, this is such a blanket question for us to answer without knowing you or this person.

Youv been given what I would say has been really solid advice about yer previous relationship and seem to have ignored it (going from yer profile post that I commented on not to long ago).

What yer asking is basically "why doesnt someone like me?" And I truly have no fucking clue. Maybe you should work on yerself before jumping into more drama involving a dude who may or may not give a shit about you. I dont mean that in a negative way, but to me (what the fuck do I know though) it sure seems like you got alot going on without adding more stress and drama to yer life right now.

Thanks, atleast your not acting so ignorant and rude by it :) sorry I was not in the right state of mind when I wrote this, and yeah im single now.
 
D

Deleted member 125

I deleted myself
Thanks, atleast your not acting so ignorant and rude by it :) sorry I was not in the right state of mind when I wrote this, and yeah im single now.

That's what's up.I hope you can manage to land on yer feet and keep yer head up and what not.
 

void gaze

Rambler
Joined
Jul 18, 2019
Messages
73
Location
Abbadon
I don’t see why people shouldn’t be able to vent here? Especially a forum like this, sex and relationships are very feelings-y. I’m sorry you got yelled at immediately. You sound upset and a little lost and I can relate. If you’re bored by posts like this, don’t read em...tbh I had the same kind of,”why am I reading this?” So maybe you could have edited... I got to the end though and found a very straight forward question. More so than the title anyway. Yes, I would say try to relax and focus on something else, wait him out. And if he gives you weird vibes just call it out like “ok dude what’s up?” My .02
 

Odin

ANTISOLIPSIST
Joined
Apr 6, 2013
Messages
2,403
Location
Earth
Website
www.youtube.com
I don’t see why people shouldn’t be able to vent here? Especially a forum like this, sex and relationships are very feelings-y. I’m sorry you got yelled at immediately. You sound upset and a little lost and I can relate. If you’re bored by posts like this, don’t read em...tbh I had the same kind of,”why am I reading this?” So maybe you could have edited... I got to the end though and found a very straight forward question. More so than the title anyway. Yes, I would say try to relax and focus on something else, wait him out. And if he gives you weird vibes just call it out like “ok dude what’s up?” My .02

gotta say I agree with this...


okay @Childgoddess I have only one piece of advice for your.

Please please be happy first being alone and being yourself without having to be in a relationship.

I have learned this myself the hard way. ... I mean there may be exceptions... or at least there "seem to be many exceptions" but it may be best if both partners in any relationship are strong in their own self esteem and not looking for someone as an emotional sponge.

Don't mean that you don't need to search for someone that is kind and nurturing to your needs but... FIRST try to be happy being on your own and yourself.

I don't know how useful that advice is but it works for me.

Than again I'm single LOL...

GOOD LUCK and find something that makes your Smile today.

Peace.
 
D

Deleted member 13433

I deleted myself
Odin
has some good advice... for if you can't be happy on your own, or find happiness on your own... there is a very good chance you will fall into the same pattern which you are in, which does not sound too healthy to me.

I'm widowed since Feb, 1996.... and I had a few real intense relationships since.... the last one ending a couple of years ago, and I've come to the conclusion that I need to be alone for a bit as well, see where I am at and where I am going.

I could have recently gotten into a relationship with a woman who is set of life as far as money goes, but it was not what I wanted.


Childgoddess
just cool out for a bit... and then allow things to occur naturally.

Don't try to force anything, or analyze anything too deeply.... you'll just set yourself up for more misery... trust me on that.

Hang in there !!
 

Users who are viewing this thread

About us

  • Squat the Planet is the world's largest social network for misfit travelers. Join our community of do-it-yourself nomads and learn how to explore the world by any means necessary.

    More Info

Support StP!

Donations go towards paying our monthly server fees, adding new features to the website, and occasionally putting a burrito in Matt's mouth.

Total amount
$0.00
Goal
$100.00

Monthly Goals

  1. Paying the Bills
    $0.00 of $50.00
    The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
  2. Buy Matt a Beer
    $0.00 of $75.00
    Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully his will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
  3. Feed Matt a Burrito
    $0.00 of $100.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
  4. Finance the Shopping Cart
    $0.00 of $200.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.