Holidays are dragging me down... (1 Viewer)

All Who Wander

I'm a d-bag and got banned.
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First, I just need to vent a bit so please forgive the self obsessed notions of this post...

My mom had a 4 yr absolutely brutal battle with cancer and lost the fight a couple years ago. She was a die hard Christmas nut, 70 moving boxes of Christmas crap had to come out of the attic every year right after Thanksgiving and back up right after new years. We had a strong family who all lived on the same ranch, and Christmas was a very big deal.

During the cancer, and especially over the last two years since her passing, the family has disintegrated. My dad started renting rooms to meth-whores from "established gentlemen dot com") and letting them steal or sell everything the family owned and valued so they would pretend to like him.

He threw me, my sister, and her two minor kids into the street with 1 week's notice when we said didn't like the junkies shooting up and calling their johns from the internet in the house and asked him to make them leave.

He had some neurological issues after being in a serious car accident so the family just kind of wrote him off as "crazy since mom died", but then he seemed to come to his senses (after one girl and her boyfriend broke into his safe, stole 5k in cash, guns, legal docs, jewelry, and a bunch of other stuff from the house.) He threw out the prostitutes and asked me to move back in (I had been living in a trailer with an extension cord for electricity) and help him out, I was there for a week before he moved in a new prostitute (totally twacked out) and threw me out again for calling him on it. I cursed myself for making the mistake of trusting him again.

I had managed to save enough for an apartment, but it's lonely and very expensive, I miss my big family and our Christmas traditions. I miss my mom and the person my dad used to be. I think soon financially, I'll have to make the choice to head out again to some new random place, which isn't as easy at 47 as it was at 26, and every Christmas song that plays just brings me down... I cant hear a Elvis Christmas song (mom's favorite album) without tearing up.

I think I'm starting to despise the holidays.
 
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Hobo Mud

Vagabond
Joined
Nov 25, 2015
Messages
363
Age
43
Location
Columbia, Tennessee
My deepest sympathy. The Holiday's can be challenging for a lot of us, including myself. I think it is healthy and mature of you to be able to share your story. Sometimes we need to vent. I wish there were more I could say to bring some kind of comfort into the trying time.

I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your journeys and hope to hear things will transpire to get better in the future. Keep on keeping on and safe travels.....
 

Coywolf

Mastering the Art of Houselessness
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Dec 12, 2014
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Hey, let me first say, thank you for sharing your story.

I also, have a family that was *way* into Christmas, and that later fell apart, for different reasons.

I have learned that everyone has their own reason why the holidays are special to them (or not). I have personally swayed away from family memories of the holidays, (as sad as that may seem), and have made my own.

I have 2 years of Christmas's in Arcata Town Square memories, where food, and good times were shared by complete strangers.

I have 2 years where the same thing happened in my travels to Bend, Oregon.

My point being, any time of the year can be special, one not need a label for it to be so.

And if a certain time of year brings you longing of times past, hold on to the best memories of that time, and try to create a few more of your own.
 

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