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Hello, friends

Clem

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My name is Clem. I come from Auburn, Maine and spent the first 25, almost 26 years of my life practically living in my bedroom. Never traveled, never did any outdoor activities. I've struggled with depression since 7th grade and 2017 was the worst it ever got. During the last six months of that year I had quit my job and began living off credit cards, sure that I would quit life by Christmas. My credit cards maxed out, Christmas came and went, and I began living on my friend's couch just waiting to figure out what I was going to do next. When I received an unexpectedly large tax refund, I decided I would fly to Thailand on a one way ticket as a last hoorah, and that if it didn't wake me up and want to start living again, I would die there. Thank God it woke me right the fuck up and I discovered that "what I'm going to do next" is live to travel. I spent six weeks there and spent the last of my money on a ticket to San Francisco, a sleeping bag, and a guitar to busk with. From there I hitched south to the beautiful college town of Isla Vista, just outside Santa Barbara, where I've been staying put for about a month now, waiting for a friend I met on reddit to wrap up his commitments and obligations before hitting the road together. I decided to join StP as a more active complement to r/vagabond. My reddit name is aimless_Travels if you'd like to read through my history there. Thanks for reading, I hope to see you all on the road!

Peace, love, and all good things to you and yours.
 

LysergicAbreaction

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Wow, I admire your resolve.

I am getting old, well, 30 always seem like an impossible to reach age growing up, and while I want to get rid of everything I own and hit the road, I can't bring myself to do it again. I have enough money where I could live comfortable on the road without ever having to spange or busker...

...I also have a medical issue which is keeping me fairly confined to a single area, and I have never been able to homebum it, so I got a place. In reality I could just leave everything at a moments notice were it not for my medical issue.

Most of my friends from those days are not with us any more... reaching 30 is an accomplishment I guess, because almost nobody else made it....

...I miss the bay. San Francisco is amazing, though its easy to get caught up in golden gate park or the haight I've found the entire city to be like my playground. Its actually a great city for psychedelic drugs. I am an ayahuasca brewer, and there's a delirium inducing admixture plant known as "brugmansia" that grows all over the city, also, if you know your fungi there are some psilocybe species that grow wild all over the city. The people are great as well. Me and my ex-wife used to fly a sign at market and drumm st. right at the start of the embarcadero and would get around $300 with in 4 hours, the standard kickdown was a $20, so money was never an issue. The cannabis and LSD is also plentiful, so there was no shortage of fun and adventure. Plus you can take the Bart from san francisco to any other city in the neighboring bay. Telegraph in Oakland and Berkeley were also amazing, again great people...

I wish you the best. I wish I could travel again, but mostly it's just nice to know that it's not an extinct phenomena. Good luck and happy travels.
 
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Very cool story. Sounds like a classic traveller story. Glad you got your ass outta your room. I know i decided a long time ago freedom is the most important thing. Life is to short to waste. Cheers
 

Tadaa

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its a story for many of us.. dealing with depression. hitting the road is a nice eye opener that life is amazing. that their is other ways, likeminded people,..

but the problems will come back if not dealt with. credit card bills will still be there if not paid.
depression and anxiety will follow you if you slow down.

but sometimes you got to say fuck it all and take off.. :)

(gonna try and deal with my " The Great Sadness" being off the road now.
 

Clem

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Thanks everybody.

but the problems will come back if not dealt with. credit card bills will still be there if not paid.
depression and anxiety will follow you if you slow down.

This is something we (depressed travelers) hear a lot. That travel is not a cure, you can't run from your problems, wherever you go there you are, etc. But suppose for a moment I find that as long as I keep moving, I am happy. Suppose my depression and anxiety only comes back when I stay in one place or work one job for too long. Some people's depression only returns when they go off their medications, or stop exercising, etc. There is no cure, but they use these things as treatments and they depend on them. I have tried these treatments and they were ineffective. What if moving around just happens to be the treatment that I need, that is effective for me? Is that really trying to hide from my problems? What's the difference between me and them? I don't know how long this will last, maybe the novelty will wear off and I'll be back at square one where nothing helps. That scares me very much. But the way I'm looking at it is, if it works, I'm gonna keep doing it as long as it works. Whatever "it" is, I don't care. I just want something that works. For now I've found it.
 
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Tadaa

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i left Belgium ten years ago when i was 25.
did a looot of travelling over those ten years. lived in canada, estonia, finland, iceland and back in estonia. worked hospitality jobs around the world.
hitchhiked well over 200,000 km around the world. trainhopped the last year over 10,000 miles in canada and the us.
didnt help my anxiety or depression but i did have a lot of fun and learned a lot about myself and the world.. :)
wish my trainhop experience can help me a bit more in life.

writing this now i think its funny how i can sit on a freight train for 60 hours and be alright.
wait 2 days for a train to get me out of somewhere..
but waiting at work for something for 10 minutes drives me nuts..

this is the second thread on depression i am reading here this week.. (being a bit fucked up settling down so reading up on other peoples stories)
and somehow you guys pushed me to find a therapist and maybe start medication.
thanks.

not sure what my point is but i wish everybody the best out there on the road and rails.
ride hard, be free and be safe
 

LysergicAbreaction

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Very cool story. Sounds like a classic traveller story. Glad you got your ass outta your room. I know i decided a long time ago freedom is the most important thing. Life is to short to waste. Cheers

Classic traveler story? It was mostly just brief descriptions of some of the features of traveling through the bay area California.

Out of my room? Don't get what you mean.

Random rant:

I have already done everything I have ever wanted to do in life, most things more than 5 times, so when it comes to my "bucket-list" everything has already been checked off. I have lived a life full of enough experiences to fill ten ordinary lives, so when I decided to take a few years off, it was never an issue. I am not missing out on anything.

Honestly, I can't stand most individual humans, I love humanity but dislike most individual humans. I get criticized for having severe misanthropic tendencies, however, I believe this is more of a misunderstanding than anything. All of the people that I would rather not have in my life and who I refuse to interact with have this impression that I treat everybody this way, and I have always wanted to remind them that just because I am not social in regards to them personally and in regards to those that they associate with, does not mean that I am not social. They assume that because I am not friends with them or their group, that I don't have any friends. Its kind of funny. In truth, extraordinary people are not common, and most people are a waste of time and energy.

I have never suffered from depression or anxiety, and have difficulty understanding it, I mean, biochemistry is one thing, but I feel some people are just neurotic and confused. Most suffering is self inflicted and can be easily absolved.


 

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