Chicago Hot Dog Boner (Horrible Gaffe of Heinz)

[Joe Btfsplk]

Matt:

Don't know if this post belongs here, move it at your want. The post is mainly for EphemeralStick, he'll enjoy it.

Also, I would like to send him a private email and not clutter up StP. I want to know if he would be interested in surprising the Slab
City clan; I have an idea of how to wow the crowd. It does not involve anything nefarious or sexual. If you want, I can share it with you privately and you be the judge. Just don't be a yenta and gossip this around the neighborhood. Keep it low, off the radar. I have no idea of how to contact him via email; he is hidden.

He might be game for this idea. I know he is busy in LA, perhaps he will stop at the Slabs during the year? The 2019 Jambo? that would be ideal but let's see how it goes.

Anyway, here you go Andy:

"For National Hot Dog Day on July 19, 2017, Heinz created controversy by introducing ketchup, labeled as "Chicago Dog Sauce", to the disdain of many Chicagoans — but their effort also unearthed a minority of ketchup aficionados in the city."

This is a sacrilege; atrocious. Amen.

 

[Deleted member 125]

If you wanna send Andy a message just click his profile and there's a "send message" button, ya can't miss it.

 

[EphemeralStick]

KETCHUP ON A HOTDOG?
LIGHT THE FIRES! SIGNAL THE ARMIES!

Also I'll send ya a PM lol.

(To anyone interested a Chicago Style hot dog consists of; one hot dog, MUSTARD, relish, diced onion, sliced tomato, a pickle spear, sport peppers, celery salt, all on a poppy seed bun)

 

[Deleted member 125]

the only way to gobble anything resembling that part of my anatomy

It's time to hose down and give that hog a scrubbing if yer using ketchup to mask the taste of hot dog dick. Nobody likes a hot dog dick.

 

[Deleted member 125]

KETCHUP ON A HOTDOG?
LIGHT THE FIRES! SIGNAL THE ARMIES!

Also I'll send ya a PM lol.

(To anyone interested a Chicago Style hot dog consists of; one hot dog, MUSTARD, relish, diced onion, sliced tomato, a pickle spear, sport peppers, celery salt, all on a poppy seed bun)

See now only the city that makes lasagna and calls it pizza would think it's a good idea to put a tomato on a hot dog. Hot dogs should be nearly burned with the consistency of old leather like the Marlboro man's chapped weather beaten butt cheeks and covered in chili with or without beans and topped with whatever kind of cheese you like.

 

[EphemeralStick]

@SlankyLanky Hey now sir!!! Thems fightin' words!

I don't know if you've heard but I AM a weiner affecionado. I desire more from my dog than the taste of burnt charcoal and ash that's been slathered with a can of dollar store drippings.

We Chicagoans take pride in our sodium rich, overly complicated delicacies. If it ain't filling you with more toppings than you can remember it ain't worth eatin.

 

[Deleted member 125]

Yo you had me up until tomato @EphemeralStick but tomatoes are vile disgusting things that nightmares are made of.

 

[croc]

@SlankyLanky I desire more from my dog than the taste of burnt charcoal and ash that's been slathered with a can of dollar store drippings.

.... Dollar $tore Drippins is my stripper name

 

[Deleted member 125]

.... Dollar $tore Drippins is my stripper name

So yer saying you accept ebt as tips or...?

 

[croc]

So yer saying you accept debt as tips or...?

I accept any item purchased at the dollar store that is able and willing to drip

 

[Deleted member 125]

I accept any item purchased at the dollar store that is able and willing to drip

Thanks for more nightmare fuel. I appreciate it.

 

[croc]

Thanks for more nightmare fuel. I appreciate it.

Wet nightmares

 

[Deleted member 125]

Wet nightmares

Check please!

 

[Deleted member 125]

A little clarification: I was going with Ephemeral's Chicago Dog mashup - ketchup on wiener is heretical

I agree. And ketchup is made from tomatoes so anybody who puts a slice of that gross slimy thing on a hot dog is a savage. I would rather lick the inside of a home bums back pocket then eat a tomato.

 

[EphemeralStick]

@SlankyLanky tomatoes are by far the least gross thing I could think of to put in ones mouth. Especially where weiners are concerned.

I could go into detail buuuuut I'll spare the rest of the user base.

 

[Deleted member 125]

@EphemeralStick it always somehow comes back to a Johnson reference between you and me huh?

 

[EphemeralStick]

@EphemeralStick it always somehow comes back to a Johnson reference between you and me huh?

Dick jokes are my modus operandi.

 

[Deleted member 125]

*mouth operandi.

 

[Matt Derrick]

To anyone interested a Chicago Style hot dog consists of; one hot dog, MUSTARD, relish, diced onion, sliced tomato, a pickle spear, sport peppers, celery salt, all on a poppy seed bun

best. thread. ever.

i'll tell you what, i had serious doubts when anna handed me my first chicago dog, i mean with all those weird ingredients, i was pretty doubtful it would be any good. but, once i put that hot dog dick in my mouth, i was fucking hooked; im definitely a fan of the chitown dog now.

 

[Deleted member 125]

best. thread. ever.

i'll tell you what, i had serious doubts when anna handed me my first chicago dog, i mean with all those weird ingredients, i was pretty doubtful it would be any good. but, once i put that hot dog dick in my mouth, i was fucking hooked; im definitely a fan of the chitown dog now.

It's gotta be partly my utter disgust for tomatoes that's the deal breaker for me because everything else sounds alright.