Beware Narwhalmom!

[WanderingBear]

So, foolish me, I began a dialogue with narwhalmom aka January Oliver aka Mischka Zubke from Maine (who was actually in New York). She is a talented writer, feelings manipulator, and con artist and in no time had me wanting to help her, as she was "stuck" in a cult in New York. She convinced me to buy her a greyhound bus ticket to join me in Arizona (nearly $300) and after many emails, texts and long phone calls with her very convincingly making me believe she loved me, I bought her the ticket. She arrived and in the first 24 hours she really put on great act, being affectionate and loving and making many flowery speeches of the life she wanted with me and how much she loved me. I paid for whatever she needed, made a place for her in my camper, drove her around everywhere she needed, showed her the ropes of being a nomad out west, and even found her a job. Once she had what she needed, she immediately changed her tune completely. Oh, she still needed me to drive her everywhere and give her a place to stay, but suddenly she wasnt ready to be in an intimate relationship, reversing everything SHE had initiated, asked for, and promised. For a week I hung in there as she strung me along on the possibility of us having something together "at some point". Also, she is still married, has five kids who she not only cant see legally, but she had to flee Maine or go to jail. She was in a psychiatric hospital (court ordered) in Maine last winter, she has an invalid drivers licence in one name but says her legal name is something else but of course has a great story for why she doesnt have any valid ID for that name. She will tell you a hellava good story but beware, its just a con to use you however she can. In reality she is a pathological liar and sociopath who threatened to stab me (as she has threatened others it turns out). That was the last straw and I left her. Out of pity I gave her a very nice tent, my lantern, and tea pot and offered to drive her to a shelter once I decided her lies and betrayal of trust and help were too much and I was done, but she chose to continue to make nasty comments and threaten me in response. As I drove away tonight, she had to attempt one last pathetic ploy, shouting that Id got her pregnant and she would "turn me in", well the jokes on her since I had a vasectomy 8 years ago. Anyway, just a heads up to my fellow rubber trampers, nomads, etc. Dont be a fool like me, the heartbreak isnt worth it (and neither was the waste of time or money, and even the sex was lame). I have been fortunate to meet some fantastic people who choose our free living lifestyle, but this woman is just a user and is not genuine at all. Beware.

 

[Kevinhitchingthecountry]

Dude whats this chick look like, is she really short and kinda new age? I was just up in Flag yesterday and got worked by a chick who gave me a sad story about getting seduced by a dude from this site (gnarly site btw I just joined) who I assume is you. She sweet talked me outta $20 sayin she was coming back and would party with me but of course that never happened.

 

[WanderingBear]

Dude whats this chick look like, is she really short and kinda new age? I was just up in Flag yesterday and got worked by a chick who gave me a sad story about getting seduced by a dude from this site (gnarly site btw I just joined) who I assume is you. She sweet talked me outta $20 sayin she was coming back and would party with me but of course that never happened.

I attached pics. She is 41 fairly cute very short like 4'11" and carries two knives and literally went from loving, cuddling, sexual, overly affectionate sweetheart full of long term relationship promises to psycopath threatening to stab me overnight. All because I wanted to discuss her drastic, unprovoked change of heart. The only reason she would give was that she had been through so much abuse and didnt know what love really was, then later said she felt that she was somebody else when she told me all those things which fooled me into caring so much for her. Crazy!

 

[roughdraft]

god damn that fucking sucks, it's people like this who really make meeting new people and forming new bonds scary and difficult at best!!!!

thank you for taking the time to share these details with us

 

[onandonward]

I'm not exceptionally surprised. I read her post "I joined a cult for a week" and found it very chaotic and disorganized; reminded me of the way a person I know with narcissistic personality disorder/bipolar disorder used to write. A word soup. Also the whole "leaving my kids" thing seemed to have much more behind it. I am sad for you, as I've been in your situation and it is often baffling and surreal how unpredictable people can be. Experiences like this shape your whole perception of other people. It seems very plausible that she really did completely believe that she wanted to be with you from afar and then completely changed her mind just as drastically, so I feel kind of sad for her, as well. She mentioned in the cult post that a doctor diagnosed her with bipolar disorder and she dismissed it, but I think that was probably an apt diagnosis. She's in a battle with her own mind and I can only hope she can find a way to journey on without stealing and conning as she has.

 

[Dameon]

Let's be fair...you gave her stuff expecting to buy a relationship with it, and that comes through in this post. The lady clearly has mental issues; that should've been something you spotted from a mile away. You were thinking with the wrong brain. Can't get conned unless you want to buy into the con.

 

[Kevinhitchingthecountry]

I attached pics. She is 41 fairly cute very short like 4'11" and carries two knives and literally went from loving, cuddling, sexual, overly affectionate sweetheart full of long term relationship promises to psycopath threatening to stab me overnight. All because I wanted to discuss her drastic, unprovoked change of heart. The only reason she would give was that she had been through so much abuse and didnt know what love really was, then later said she felt that she was somebody else when she told me all those things which fooled me into caring so much for her. Crazy!

Thats totally her! Met her in the library, she came on flirty then sob story then flirty. Even tho she contradicted herself like ten times in her 20 minute sob story I still gave her 20 bucks even tho I knew better, shes just that good man! Guess Im the lucky one tho not hooking up with her later if shes one of those broads who yells pregnant! after one night LOL.

 

[WanderingBear]

I'm not exceptionally surprised. I read her post "I joined a cult for a week" and found it very chaotic and disorganized; reminded me of the way a person I know with narcissistic personality disorder/bipolar disorder used to write. A word soup. Also the whole "leaving my kids" thing seemed to have much more behind it. I am sad for you, as I've been in your situation and it is often baffling and surreal how unpredictable people can be. Experiences like this shape your whole perception of other people. It seems very plausible that she really did completely believe that she wanted to be with you from afar and then completely changed her mind just as drastically, so I feel kind of sad for her, as well. She mentioned in the cult post that a doctor diagnosed her with bipolar disorder and she dismissed it, but I think that was probably an apt diagnosis. She's in a battle with her own mind and I can only hope she can find a way to journey on without stealing and conning as she has.

I appreciate your comments, and think you're right.

 

[WanderingBear]

Hey all thanks for your support. As I stated before, I was foolish and only blame myself. Although I was not in fact trying to "buy a relationship" as one armchair psychologist wanabe opined without apparently reading everything posted, he was correct about one thing, and that is that I wouldn't have bought into the con if I did not want to, or more correctly, if I did not want to believe in the fairy tale she was spinning. Onandonward shared some real wisdom, and after doing some thinking and a bit of research on my own, I've come to believe that January or Mischka or whatever her real name is, definitely has some emotional or mental disorders and I should not hold her accountable for her actions towards me. Although I didn't learn of her being in a psychiatric hospital until later after she had been with me a few days, had I not willingly drank her koolaid from the start and exercised some healthy skepticism I wouldnt have gone through this emotional roller coaster, let alone wasted money and time. So shame on me LOL. I think perhaps Onandonward nailed it and this woman did think she meant all the things she was feeding me for the week leading up to me buying her a bus ticket, the three days she was in transit, and the first 24 hours she was here. The complete, 180 degree immediate personality and attitude change on her part can only be explained by one of two reasons: 1) she is just a heartless and malicious con artist, or 2) she has some serious mental/emotional issues. I believe now that it is the second reason, and feel bad for her and hope she gets help. Having learned since that she assaulted her husband, is considered a danger to her kids, and experiencing her threats about stabbing me in the heart as well as seeing another person post about her scamming him, I still think she is dangerous and people should be smarter than I was if encountering her, but its also sad and I hope she gets some professional help. I think she is just really messed up and trying to survive.

 

[Deleted member 125]

@Narwhalmom since you are also currently still a user on stp if there is anything you'd like to say here and now is kinda the time and place.

 

[Deleted member 25220]

This Dude is a freak! Not only a felon carrying a gun but asked me to do things to him I’d never do to anyone!
To the guy who thinks he met me in flagstaff- better check your bottle- I’m not in flag and don’t know you!

I thought better of STP and thought posting shit about people was not allowed but since we are on the subject:
Aaron McCllelan sent me a message on STP inviting me out to Flagstaff.
We talked on the phone and definitely had a decent phone relationship- he offered to buy my ticket - saying he wanted a road dog & promised work with his employer.
Upon arrival- I find , no job and he wants sex or obviously you see what I got!
The dude is like a 5 year old boy
“ she hit me”
He talked incessantly about how his ex defamed him online and how he is bad news all over the internet.
You go Aaron McCllelan
Hope you find that special woman who will do to you want you asked of me!
I’m just not down with all that
You may be a “ writer” but your ability to extrapolate fact from fiction is definitely inept-
Good luck with your vampire/ zombie novel
You acted like a vampire from the get go!
This dude needed more attention than a baby bird-
If you didn’t hold his hand he thought you were upset!
He didn’t want a road dog- he wanted a Miss Submissive
He said things to me no one has ever said and has blatantly lied on STP
Whatever- good luck to any woman that lands in all that
He will buy you a bus ticket
But you will have a laundry list of expectations!
And the Vasectomy is bullshit - he begged me to figure out Birth Control if we stayed “ together”
This is the crazy shit I’m talking about
Anyway..
I believe he wants a woman
Wants to ensnare her and if she leaves..
Defames
Just like his ex did to him
Wandering Bear aka Aaron McCllelan is not a safe ride especially for a woman
He left me in the National Forest when I wouldn’t sleep with him

 

[Deleted member 25220]

This is Mr McCllelan

 

[onandonward]

I'd like to revise what I'd previously said briefly, as I read some of salxtina's pretty sound points about this discussion in a separate thread she made. It isn't my place to pathologize strangers. If I felt confident enough to say her behavior seemed to be aligned with Bipolar disorder, it's because I myself am Bipolar and have had, in the past before my treatment, breaks with reality and personality switches that reminded me of what was described. In my opinion, acknowledging that people's actions are often dictated by their own mental struggles is just a more empathetic stance than to completely cut them off as a "bad person". After my psychotic break, I found it very valuable that the people around me accepted that my past decisions had been dictated by someone who was simply not in their right mind. It is relevant to the ethics of this discussion to consider this person's sanity, because it's a public forum of travelers, many of whom may meet her. To just say "avoid this person" without exploring why might be actually dangerous for her and to others. If people are known to act in harmful, erratic ways it is not unreasonable to question if they're in their right mind. If no one had questioned my behavior or seen it as treatable, I may have never gotten help and would be screaming about the feds in a tinfoil hat – completely unhappy.

 

[Dameon]

Although I was not in fact trying to "buy a relationship" as one armchair psychologist wanabe opined without apparently reading everything posted

Oh, she still needed me to drive her everywhere and give her a place to stay, but suddenly she wasnt ready to be in an intimate relationship, reversing everything SHE had initiated, asked for, and promised.

I read through the whole thing, and phrases like this stood out to me. You were helping her, but you were helping her with expectations of physical intimacy in return. A whole week after she decided to reexamine whether she wanted that intimacy, you kicked her to the curb, making it fairly clear what you expected out of the whole thing. I'm open to being wrong, but the whole thing reads a lot like the he-said-she-said fallout of a relationship. She didn't rob you, she didn't hurt you; you did things for her willingly with the expectation that she would have sex with you.

Sorry if I come off harsh and like an asshole, I'm really not trying to, but I take stuff like this with a grain of salt. It would be just as easy for her to be here talking about how you brought her to the other side of the country and put her in a position where she was dependent on you for everything and then abandoned her when she wouldn't have sex with you.

 

[WanderingBear]

Wow, more creativity from Mischka. Funny thing is, I still have all your texts and emails that tell the real story, and its clear how you worked me from the start, looking back through them. But folks, don't take my word for what happened, it is easy enough to determine who is the liar here. Run her name(s) in Virginia and then Maine (Washington County) or call her husband Dylan Zubke up in Machias, Maine or just call the authorities there and see who is the wanted felon and who is a danger to her own children. Run my name and you will see I am neither wanted nor a felon (nor did my ex defame me, where does she get this stuff?), clearly demonstrating who is the liar and also who is dangerous. This is a case of a woman taking advantage of a man, a foolish man yes, but not the weird guy she is trying to portray me as in order for her to twist the situation. Her history speaks for itself, and you can bet I will do my due dilligence in checking shit out if I ever decide to help anyone else again. I have traveled with many rubber trampers throughout the Southwest who know me and would laugh at this mental woman's claims. Still, I regret even beginning this process of posting a warning on StP as it has blown out of proportion, and I think I am done with being here for a while. Good luck to all.

 

[Matt Derrick]

the mods and myself have been discussing this situation as it's been playing out, and in my personal opinion (not necessarily the opinion of the staff) i think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. i agree with @Dameon's deductions that @WanderingBear's motives were probably not 100% altruistic. I also agree that @Narwhalmom is probably a wingnut, so @WanderingBear probably got what they deserved, and it seems they have acknowledged that to a certain degree.

so, in the end, i think this thread should stand... but only to serve as a warning to other travelers to look out for both people like @WanderingBear AND @Narwhalmom. i don't believe either of these people are a threat to other travelers (which is why this forum section was created) but definitely something to be wary of in your travels.

hopefully folks reading this thread will take this story to heart, and check out the guide we created that outlines some tips for vetting people before traveling with them:

https://squattheplanet.com/threads/how-to-vet-a-person-you-want-to-travel-with.27524/