Adventure Fails (1 Viewer)



I deleted myself
So my first failed adventure was terminated due to a noreaster and some mild frostbite on my toes.

My second adventure ended badly tonight when I decided to spange in the hopes of profiting off some Irish St Patty's Day generosity.

Things were going well until a couple of drunken frat boys exited the bar. They walked in my direction and one of them slurred something at me before kicking my change cup in my face.

I stood up and he threw a sloppy drunken (bad action movie) haymaker, which I easily blocked and then headbutted his front tooth out. His still-warm blood splashed all over my face and shirt and I roared with berzerker bloodlust. Pudgy was out of the game.

Pride surged through my brain and a rush of adrenaline-fueled joy spiked my veins. I was about to win yet another fight in a long career of victories. My biceps bulged with badassery.

And then it all went wrong. A good-natured civilian grabbed my arms to try and halt the carnage. Frat boy number 2 then proceeded to use my flabby belly as his own personal punching bag. I crumbled to the ground and thankfully the pussy-peacemaker pacifist stopped him from ghetto stomping me into the concrete of Massachusetts Street.

About the only silver linings are that the cops told us to just walk in separate directions and I later found the Frat boys tooth in my front pocket. Now my thoughts turn toward narcotics and a lumpy mattress at home.

So what are some of your failed adventures? Epic fails that are so frocking ridiculous that Ernest Hemingway himself could not fabricate them.
Last edited by a moderator:
Click here to buy one of our amazing custom bandanas!


Jan 15, 2017
Minneapolis MN
got washed out of a drain in flash rain storm..


Feb 10, 2017
Gang Mills, NY
Went for a hike down in Santa Elena Canyon in Big Bend had lunch enjoyed the amazing rock canyon. On the way out, the very dry creek we crossed to get in was a raging river a couple hundred feet across and way deeper than we dared cross with a 2 y.o. and a grumpy teenager. Lucky for us the rocks for jocks class from one of the universities in the state was on hand and carried us across after a few hours of wondering if we were all going to be some mountain cats fine cuisine after the sun went down and we froze to death.

The 2 y.o. is now 22 and his grumpy teenage brother is crossing 33 this year.

Users who are viewing this thread

About us

  • Squat the Planet is the world's largest social network for misfit travelers. Join our community of do-it-yourself nomads and learn how to explore the world by any means necessary.

    More Info

Support StP!

Donations go towards paying our monthly server fees, adding new features to the website, and occasionally putting a burrito in Matt's mouth.

Total amount

Monthly Goals

  1. Paying the Bills
    $50.00 of $50.00 - reached!
    The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
  2. Buy Matt a Beer
    $60.00 of $75.00
    Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully his will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
  3. Feed Matt a Burrito
    $60.00 of $100.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
  4. Finance the Shopping Cart
    $60.00 of $200.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.