Adventure Fails (1 Viewer)

A

AlwaysLost

I deleted myself
So my first failed adventure was terminated due to a noreaster and some mild frostbite on my toes.

My second adventure ended badly tonight when I decided to spange in the hopes of profiting off some Irish St Patty's Day generosity.

Things were going well until a couple of drunken frat boys exited the bar. They walked in my direction and one of them slurred something at me before kicking my change cup in my face.

I stood up and he threw a sloppy drunken (bad action movie) haymaker, which I easily blocked and then headbutted his front tooth out. His still-warm blood splashed all over my face and shirt and I roared with berzerker bloodlust. Pudgy was out of the game.

Pride surged through my brain and a rush of adrenaline-fueled joy spiked my veins. I was about to win yet another fight in a long career of victories. My biceps bulged with badassery.

And then it all went wrong. A good-natured civilian grabbed my arms to try and halt the carnage. Frat boy number 2 then proceeded to use my flabby belly as his own personal punching bag. I crumbled to the ground and thankfully the pussy-peacemaker pacifist stopped him from ghetto stomping me into the concrete of Massachusetts Street.

About the only silver linings are that the cops told us to just walk in separate directions and I later found the Frat boys tooth in my front pocket. Now my thoughts turn toward narcotics and a lumpy mattress at home.

So what are some of your failed adventures? Epic fails that are so frocking ridiculous that Ernest Hemingway himself could not fabricate them.
 
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SammyG

Rambler
Joined
Jan 15, 2017
Messages
119
Location
Minneapolis MN
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got washed out of a drain in flash rain storm..
 

DrewSTNY

Vagabond
Joined
Feb 10, 2017
Messages
331
Location
Gang Mills, NY
Went for a hike down in Santa Elena Canyon in Big Bend had lunch enjoyed the amazing rock canyon. On the way out, the very dry creek we crossed to get in was a raging river a couple hundred feet across and way deeper than we dared cross with a 2 y.o. and a grumpy teenager. Lucky for us the rocks for jocks class from one of the universities in the state was on hand and carried us across after a few hours of wondering if we were all going to be some mountain cats fine cuisine after the sun went down and we froze to death.

The 2 y.o. is now 22 and his grumpy teenage brother is crossing 33 this year.
 

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