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Adventure Fails

Discussion in 'General Banter' started by AlmostAlwaysLost, Mar 17, 2017.

  1. AlmostAlwaysLost

    AlmostAlwaysLost Failed Adventurer
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    So my first failed adventure was terminated due to a noreaster and some mild frostbite on my toes.

    My second adventure ended badly tonight when I decided to spange in the hopes of profiting off some Irish St Patty's Day generosity.

    Things were going well until a couple of drunken frat boys exited the bar. They walked in my direction and one of them slurred something at me before kicking my change cup in my face.

    I stood up and he threw a sloppy drunken (bad action movie) haymaker, which I easily blocked and then headbutted his front tooth out. His still-warm blood splashed all over my face and shirt and I roared with berzerker bloodlust. Pudgy was out of the game.

    Pride surged through my brain and a rush of adrenaline-fueled joy spiked my veins. I was about to win yet another fight in a long career of victories. My biceps bulged with badassery.

    And then it all went wrong. A good-natured civilian grabbed my arms to try and halt the carnage. Frat boy number 2 then proceeded to use my flabby belly as his own personal punching bag. I crumbled to the ground and thankfully the pussy-peacemaker pacifist stopped him from ghetto stomping me into the concrete of Massachusetts Street.

    About the only silver linings are that the cops told us to just walk in separate directions and I later found the Frat boys tooth in my front pocket. Now my thoughts turn toward narcotics and a lumpy mattress at home.

    So what are some of your failed adventures? Epic fails that are so frocking ridiculous that Ernest Hemingway himself could not fabricate them.
     
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    #1 AlmostAlwaysLost, Mar 17, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2017
  2. Aussie Timm

    Aussie Timm Celebrated Poster

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    I got a little too adventurous one weekend in my old subaru last. Long story short i almost ended up sliding into a deep rut (bottom left corner of picture) whilst trying to reverse back down. Was not as dry as it looked. Road tyres and wet clay dont mix well. Ended up sending my lady friend down the road to a country fire station we had just passed to ask for help. The good samaritan almost rolled his 4wd in the process of helping me. Fun times
     

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  3. Aussie Timm

    Aussie Timm Celebrated Poster

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    That was last year
     
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  4. OP
    OP
    AlmostAlwaysLost

    AlmostAlwaysLost Failed Adventurer
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    Oh man that's so something I would do lol.
     
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  5. Aussie Timm

    Aussie Timm Celebrated Poster

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    Another time i was doing some more bush bashing, nice easy track. Been up it before, just wasnt quite paying attention once i got up the top and forgot about a set of ruts up the top ::meh:: got myself out that time
     

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  6. Aussie Timm

    Aussie Timm Celebrated Poster

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    This was how close i was to sliding into the rut as well lol
     
  7. Aussie Timm

    Aussie Timm Celebrated Poster

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    *
     

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  8. OP
    OP
    AlmostAlwaysLost

    AlmostAlwaysLost Failed Adventurer
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    What makes those ruts? Caterpillars?
     
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  9. Aussie Timm

    Aussie Timm Celebrated Poster

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    Proper 4wds with a good mix of rain washing the soil away
     
  10. Aussie Timm

    Aussie Timm Celebrated Poster

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  11. OP
    OP
    AlmostAlwaysLost

    AlmostAlwaysLost Failed Adventurer
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    Ah I see they looked like heavy machinery
     
  12. Aussie Timm

    Aussie Timm Celebrated Poster

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    Nah, just a combo of a few years of 4wds and rain.
     
  13. SammyG

    SammyG One of the Regulars

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    IMG_0676.JPG got washed out of a drain in flash rain storm..
     
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  14. OP
    OP
    AlmostAlwaysLost

    AlmostAlwaysLost Failed Adventurer
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    I bet that was scary
     
  15. SammyG

    SammyG One of the Regulars

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    It was warm(for Minnesota) day in February, the river was cold as hell.
     
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  16. DrewSTNY

    DrewSTNY Celebrated Poster
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    Went for a hike down in Santa Elena Canyon in Big Bend had lunch enjoyed the amazing rock canyon. On the way out, the very dry creek we crossed to get in was a raging river a couple hundred feet across and way deeper than we dared cross with a 2 y.o. and a grumpy teenager. Lucky for us the rocks for jocks class from one of the universities in the state was on hand and carried us across after a few hours of wondering if we were all going to be some mountain cats fine cuisine after the sun went down and we froze to death.

    The 2 y.o. is now 22 and his grumpy teenage brother is crossing 33 this year.
     
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