A Question for the Ladies

[rideitlikeyoustoleit]

Alright ladies, I want to talk to some of you. I'm one of the unfortunate women who don't have vaginal orgasms. The only way I have them is clitoral. Anyone else have this? What do you do sexually to cope with this. I've found that most of my male partners are unprepared for this, and it seems like work sometimes to get me off before we get down to business. Tips, advice, etc?

 

[coldsteelrail]

hey, i'm not sure that vaginal orgasms are actually very common, but i think that kegel exercises practiced consistently can help in many ways by developing the muscles, control, blood flow and focus of that area. Use the muscles during sex and stimulation.

Practicing energy work during sex could help too. Try to focus on the sexual energy in the pelvis, that you and your partner share, and imagine creating more and filling the reproductive organs and uterus with this energy. If you can feel the energy and/or visualize it then you could try to phsyically expel the energy with your muscles. after sex, imagine the energy circulating from your genitals up to your crown, and then down back and around again. This disperses the sexual energy through out your body so it doesn't stagnate.

Trying out breathing techniques could really help you there. Do research on sexual breathing techniques, and also just experiment with your breath during stimulation, and see how it changes your responses.

Getting near to clitoral orgasm while having sex, then letting up on the clitoral stimulation before you cum, and still continuing to have penetration might work.

Trying out techniques for squirting might help develop the awareness of muscle movement.

You can always just stimulate the clitoris and have an orgasm that way, while having sex, which is what you've probably been doing.

These are just ideas, and it seems like a lot of work for sex to me, but you could try the techniques out alone, and one at a time with your partner. I've never been too concerned about where my orgasms cum from, but it is rare that i have an orgasm that feels mostly vaginal, and it is a really intense feeling.

I think the key is to stay relaxed, ha ha ha.

Now we need someone to bring up the best positions that do the trick without the clit...

 

[Wolfeyes]

I know you wanted advice from other ladies, but here's a guy chiming in anyway.

Personally, I don't think having to focus on the clit is work, so long as your partner is willing get over the macho shit and help out. It's part of the... how do I say this... Experience? Each party should be wiling to use whatever they have(within reason) to get the other one off. In other words it's not a problem with you, at least not 100%. Most guys either don't know any other way, or don't want to put in the effort.

If a guy isn't doing the trick, tell him what he's doing wrong, and if he's too insecure/immature/selfish to at least try, he ain't worth it.

 

[carlylanea]

I have the exact same problem as you hun....

all you gotta do is clench your abs and stomach muscles and arch your back.


try it out!

 

[hardlyart]

also try positions where you can grind on your partner so you will still get clitoral stimulation- this way he still doesn't have to use his hands.

 

[rootboy]

What to do if your girlfriend has this problem and you want to talk about it, or get her to think about it, like rideitlikeyoustoleit is doing, but she refuses?
My girl doesn't sees it as a problem, is not really interested in sex and hates to have to talk intimate about it… any advice from some ladies on this one maybe?

 

[MiztressWinter]

I have never had a vaginal orgasm. Only clitoral. If I want to orgasm without touching myself or being touched there...I just climb on top. All I have to do is grind the right way...and I can get off. Took a little practice..but works like a charm!

 

[Angela]

This is definitely a problem I can relate to. I'm not entirely what would be described as heterosexual though so my advice should be taken in context. Many women don't have strictly vaginal orgasms and rely on a combination of clitoral or physical stimulation to areas other than the vagina. This is not at all uncommon. Women that can climax strictly from vaginal stimulation are in fact in the minority although this is definitely not something that you will see reported in popular women's magazine's or the popular media.

 

[Shakou]

Believe it or not, vaginal orgasms are pretty rare for just about all girls (with the exception of a lucky few who just have an overly sensitive g-spot). I've had them maybe only a few times in the 10 years I've been sexually active, and every time I've had them I've found my mind and body really has to be in a state of sexual ecstasy (as in you REALLY have to be turned on and into things). A lot of trust and bonding has to be built up I think as well. Your partner can't make you feel like you're "to much work" to him, because the subconscious guilt will prevent you from reaching that state where you can just let go. Maybe go out and have a nice, romantic evening together or something and come back and watch some videos on how it's done together and then try.

Even if you are one of those girls who absolutely can not have a vaginal orgasm, don't worry about it. A good lover's mission in sex is to get the other person off and should thus be doing everything they possibly can to achieve that. Do what works for you and have fun with it!

 

[purplepowerband]

get some tools and fix your cooter. appreciate a dick. and its inability to hit the clit

 

[JahDucky]

For me I can but I dont enjoy it nearly as much as I do clitoral. For me I just do a couple simple things.

Now I dont think men should shave their junk or even trim their fuzz. When I am having sex with my guy I will grind myself toward his patch of hair and oh my god it feels amazing. So hes getting the stimulation he desires and I get the stimulation I desire and a little extra. By grinding into him Hes touching me inside in places that usually dont get touched if your holding still.

 

[LeatherTrampGypsy]

I find that having vaginal orgasms is WAAAAAAY more powerful & pleasing then a clitoral one. But I haven't had many vaginal ones because its a lot harder to achieve. Its easier if you're on top. But its too fucking hard to get to that point before I make my boyfriend cum. It feels great but he gets super stimualted & excited when I'm on top. He's gotten better at holding out until I have an orgasm. Best sex I've ever had honestly.

 

[Missy]

I guess I am lucky. I can get off sometimes just by thinking about sex.

 

[mamamutiny]

so, firstly, not cumming from vaginal intercourse alone is not exactly a problem, nor is it at all uncommon! many women only get off with clitoral stimulation, or at least one might want very focused g-spot attention. also, seeing sex as just vagina-penis penetrative intercourse, where both folks have to get off, is kind of a narrow, boring view! fucking and fooling around just for the sake of the pleasure along the way is hot as hell! plus, sex viewed that way can take the pressure off a bit and make it easier to blow yo' lady load. i also believe that when one is pleasuring their partner, they should remain in the moment, not bothering with how long or if anyone's cumming. just enjoy!

 

[Mouse]

the bigger the dick the easier the gspot orgasm. lol

i really have no advice for this as it's all too easy for me to have every orgasm in the book

 

[NyxNomasters]

I masturbate during sex. It's the only way for me. Face down ass up helps facilitate this, but it's not always necessary depending on his style.

I've had one partner who could get me close enough that I think I may have had a vaginal orgasm, but it's not as good as clitoral, so I'm not sure.

Also, hood piercings help.

 

[coolguyeagle76']

get some tools and fix your cooter. appreciate a dick. and its inability to hit the clit

uhhh HERE HERE!!

 

[Skitty]

alright i'm not trying to sound vulgar or trashy but find a guy with a really BIG DICK
seriously.
length doesn't matter so much as does width, thick dicks the best ; )
i used to have the same "problem" as you but i found that eventually the more sexually experience I got, I started having vaggygasims

 

[Velcrow]

get a pocket rocket and use that on your clit while you and your partner do it doggy or something. or you can just have your man go down on you before you start fucking. that works for me too

 

[Velcrow]

I find that having vaginal orgasms is WAAAAAAY more powerful & pleasing then a clitoral one. But I haven't had many vaginal ones because its a lot harder to achieve. Its easier if you're on top. But its too fucking hard to get to that point before I make my boyfriend cum. It feels great but he gets super stimualted & excited when I'm on top. He's gotten better at holding out until I have an orgasm. Best sex I've ever had honestly.

how do you do that! ive never had a vaginal orgasm. i think im broken.