17 year old girl in nj and i need to get out

[folkpunkmessup]

I was, for a while, planning on running away with my boyfriend. Then we settled for norms. Then we broke up. I have no friends and I am extremely depressed. As someone interested in this scene in a high school environment every single day is so shitty I can't handle it. Every day driving to school I realize I could make a different turn and head towards the highway. I could go anywhere. Are there squats in NJ? Are there punk or leftist or generally level minded people I can meet somewhere and at least have a network? I am so overwhelmingly dissatisfied with my life here and have been planing on some sort of breakaway from society for about 2 years. Plans changed when I got a boyfriend and plans have suddenly changed again and all I know is I really need to get out or find a network this time. I have some money and I have the drive to learn everything I need to, and I have the drive for sure to get the fuck away from here. I also have a banjo that I can kind of play.

 

[MilkaNoobie]

Life sucks as a younger person but gets exponentially harder the Older you get..I would not rush in to it

 

[Skidkidfox]

I agree with him^ at the very least, finish high school. you will probably end u regretting it if you dont. High school fucking suuuucks but once you're out and on your own shit gets better. For me at least. and at least if you have your high school degree you wont be stuck in a situation where maybe traveling isnt for you, but you fucked yourself over by not finishing high school. But definitely try and find the punks, the anarchist, the misfits that are around you. Learn from them, and stick around this site. You'll learn all kinds of stuff and meet neat people that will make it all a bit more bearable. You can definitely send me a pm if you ever feel really shitty/stuck and wanna talk to someone whos been there done tat.

 

[ghostjohny]

i think you should be cautious and safe in whatever decision you make, learn to be careful of whom you trust, and i also agree to finish highschool, especially if you're almost done anyway. a GED is good, but the tests can be a bit annoying and it's handy to have that "i finished highskool" thing under your belt. me, personally? i left at about 17 and set off into the desert states, came back a bit later and got my GED, although like i said the tests are meh if you haven't been in school for a while. but make sure to do what your intuition tells you. also, nice fiddle skidkid

 

[Skidkidfox]

nice fiddle skidkid

thx pal-o

 

[creature]

HS is def the thing to do, if possible..
one option you may want to check out is if there are alternative methods to completing it, or earning your GED in the same time frame.

i know about The Walk Out The Door, but if you do it, make sure your family is still with you, unless they are complete & utter fucks..

you have a car, it seems,, i might mightily suggest doing an intersession road trip.. there are probably more than a few StP anarchonomads within 6 hours drive.. see who has a good rep & then light up your wheels for a couple of weeks.. might help keep you sane, in the last stretch..

see if you can:
- get HS credit for community service, such as biology for helping at an animal shelter or hospital..

- do 'continuing education', where you attend college & get your GED (this is what i did, very fortunately)

- commute to a different school..

the US HS system is a fucking pain/punishment institutional construct, unless an individual is *predisposed* to fit into the regimentation necessary to complete it with as little conflict as possible..

you need to know what you love & are passionate about & believe you could do to make a way for yourself.

at 17, those answers may not be present..

quite honestly, however, i have seen little difference between anarcho HS grads & non-grads, in terms of income or job quality, until about the age of 22..

a HS diploma qualifies you for nothing, intrinsically, except, perhaps, job corp services..
as an idea, i would search for job resources for HS dropouts, because you may actually be able to get some sort of assistance..

a HS grad who hates fucking western corporate civilization typically gets a service job.. fast food, barista, cleaning service, etc..
you may not get anything handling cash in social situations; toll collector, parking meter officer, etc., as well as any kind of civil service being off limits, but as far as the adventures of our youth go, that seems to be exactly what we try to stay away from..

i dunno, but maybe walmart & dollar stores require one, but generally low wage jobs are just looking for warm bodies to move shit around..

the chances are that unless you find a profession you can actually *tolerate*, you'll go no further than eventually finding a farm to live on..

soo... if getting a HS diploma means being able to get a job, it may be better to evaluate if you *want* a job..
people should work, when they can, but the traveler is a special case..

be carefull of *everyone*..

find trustable old timers, like Kim Chee, who can teach you serious stuff about staying independent..

let neither desire nor emotion rule you, because one child is all it takes to thrust you into another universe, entirely...

do what you can to get your diploma, because it may wind up you find something you love, & want to learn more of, and you can more forward on the path of it's knowledge..

& if you ever go to europe & have an opportunity to study, without at *least* a GED (& pref the HS dip), they will just shake their heads & be sorry..

& you know.. if you ever decide to do something, like, perhaps, try your hand at being a travel agent, you will *definitely* need the sheepskin..

but.. all of us hear you..

most likely you'll be ok..

the main thing is to have the strength to be fair to yourself..
consider your situation & how bad it actually may or may not be..

sounds like maybe the ex bf guy is still around.. well.. i dunno what went down, but you sound devoted & compassionate, so make sure you learn enough to let those traits be placed. later on, where they do the world the most good..

avoid any squats too rangey or impermanent..

avoid the streets, also..

go to communities that publish & organize...

look for local chapters of radical groups, like bread not bombs, or local food pantries & offer to voulenteer, before hitting the road.. get to know people, make a few connections, find other people actively involved in the things that make a difference to you...

good luck, sis, & peace,


c

 

[Mankini]

Dont you worry about a thing.

1. high school can be forged, as can anything else.
2. Read Frank Abagnale.

 

[Archon Haz]

Hey I read a post about an Ecovillage in Pittsburgh, I know thats not exactly close but... Also, try woofing, great way to get out. As a girl, if you do decide to hit the road, be careful, keep a pepper spray handy and don't get into stupid situations. I know that equality is all the buzz these days, but in the end of the day someone twice your weight is going to win 100% of altercations. Good luck.

 

[PAN AM HOBO]

fuck school just self teach yourself like i did read books etc.. i find school to be a big waste of time i just wanted to live freely while i could when i could and school prevented that i left school in second or 3rd grade and finally got a ss card when i was about 20 parents never notified anyone about birth which was cool until i got crohn's desieas

 

[Hillbilly Castro]

Life sucks as a younger person but gets exponentially harder the Older you get..I would not rush in to it

Really? Life has only gotten better for me. As a kid you have no agency or rights, you're preyed upon by idiotic institutions and abusive people without much defense or recourse, and you cannot move about the earth freely. As an adult you have the right to say "fuck you" to just about anyone. This is as long as you don't get involved in money, drugs, or pregnancy.

 

[Skidkidfox]

fuck school just self teach yourself like i did read books etc.. i find school to be a big waste of time i just wanted to live freely while i could when i could and school prevented that i left school in second or 3rd grade and finally got a ss card when i was about 20 parents never notified anyone about birth which was cool until i got crohn's desieas

while this might be completely fine and dandy for you, i really dont think you should be recommending it to other people. The education system is fucked up and, in theory what you're saying definitely is a good way to go. However, you need to acknowledge that we live in society where without a high school diploma, you're pretty much fucked if you decide you want to be an active part of society. I've seen it happen a ton, where people dip out of high school because they want to travel and live a nomadic life, do it for a few years and then decide its not really what they want to do for the rest of their lives and then end up pretty fucked over when trying to get a decent job where they can actually support themselves. So yeah, dropping out of school in the third grade may have worked for you, but don't go around telling everyone to drop out of school because in the long run, it's best to just finish it. If shes 17 this is probably her last year, don't throw all that shit away.

 

[Hillbilly Castro]

if you decide you want to be an active part of society.

That's where people fuck up. I got a motorcycle, two revolvers, and a moonshine still - same as what half my family up in the backwoods has got - and I'll be set for life. My uncle is in his sixties and he's never played the game. Either way I think we can all recommend whatever we think makes sense, and whomever we're recommending it to should have the good sense to realize these are internet randos who may or may not be complete fuckin wingnuts. Anyone who seeks divine truth via the internet is looking for a one-way to hell.

 

[Hobo Jones]

fuck school just self teach yourself like i did read books etc.. i find school to be a big waste of time i just wanted to live freely while i could when i could and school prevented that i left school in second or 3rd grade and finally got a ss card when i was about 20 parents never notified anyone about birth which was cool until i got crohn's desieas

I agree, school's not a place for smart people. I flunked school my whole life. People always tell me I'm one of the more intelligent people that they have met. I wouldn't exactly agree with them.

Anyways, anything learned in school can pretty much be learned by looking it up on the internet. The best skill school has to offer is developing social skills. The most important skills to learn in life, I think, are the ones that can only be learned through experience, or taught to you by someone who has already learned the skill through their own experience. For example, pitching a tent. It sounds simple and is pretty simple, but for someone with zero experience with this, it can be difficult. My friend, who isn't a traveler, decided to go camping at the local beach for a night with his girl friend. He struggled with pitching the brand new tent to the point that he broke and tore the zipper off. His romantic beach-side camping trip was immediately shattered once the sun began to set and it got cold. On top of that, bugs were inside their tent. His girlfriend was stuck shivering all night and feeling creeped out by bugs, and now they haven't gone camping ever since. I know how to pitch a tent because my uncle taught me and I was able to practice pitching a tent on multiple other occasions with friends or family. K-12th grade did not provide with the slightest knowledge of pitching a tent, which in some climates and locations, can be the difference between life and death.

But either way, I think I'm just rambling now. I love to ramble after having an EBT cocktail in the morning at the library.

As much as I hated school myself, if you have already made it that far with schooling, you may as well finish. You never know what will happen later on and it would be awful to regret not graduating at a later age. I have only worked 3 jobs in my life for very short periods of time before becoming a traveler, but I may not have been able to get those jobs if it were not for having my highschool diploma. Even at this moment, I feel like my highschool education won't help me with life in any way whatsoever. But I never know, I may need to, or even want to, take up another temporary job in the future, depending on if I actually need cash (usually I get by with less than $10 to my name with my Ebt card), or on the off chance that I actually come across some type of work that I could enjoy, such as working with animals or at an animal shelter. It would cause me a lot of internal conflict if I could not get the position at a job I desire merely because I didn't get enough high school credits to graduate. And those credits made no difference in any of the life skills I currently use, nor have I needed to think back to anything I've learned in highschool after graduating. In fact, I probably don't even know most of what I learned in highschool at this point. But still, I am glad I have my diploma on the off chance I might have to suck some corporate dick (work a job) later down the path I walk.

 

[salxtina]

Hi messup! I'm from the jersey hellscape too. Well, it's probably not my place or ANYONE's to tell you what to do about the atrocity that is public school, I got kicked out of several myself, but wound up graduating and going to college for a while, and learning a bunch of stuff from (largely non-student) rad organizers / theory nerds there for a couple years before hitting the road... Welcome!

As a girl, if you do decide to hit the road...

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ARCHON HAZ
Gender:
Male

in the end of the day someone twice your weight is going to win 100% of altercations....

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[ghostjohny]

not trying to be that guy, but i'm just saying weight, in actual combat, has very little to do with the outcome. plenty of people who thought their 220 pound bodies would save them have met the business end of a strong right (or left) hook and been instantly K.O.ed or caused so much pain they lose their will to fight, to many people's instant humorous enjoyment.

 

[sasquatch]

"I was, for a while, planning on running away with my boyfriend. Then we settled for norms. Then we broke up. I have no friends and I am extremely depressed. As someone interested in this scene in a high school environment every single day is so shitty I can't handle it. I am so overwhelmingly dissatisfied."

....
Not having a high school diploma closes so many doors and having your options open is always better. You are still young at 17. I can't know how shitty your school is but it sounds like as an "outsider" you relate to a traveler lifestyle but I'm assuming you know little about it at this point other than the awsome fantacies you have conjured in your head from movies and social media accounts you have seen. The reality of sleeping on the street or in your car is a lot more difficult than you probably imagine, life will not be easier than it is now even if you will have more freedom. Highschool isn't easy but, in my opinion, it'd be better to finish it out. Take this time to travel during the weekends and after school. Try sleeping out on the street or in you car for a couple days. Meet people where you are at now and take measures to improve your situation as it is!

Figure out the core reasons you want to move away. Can they resolved any other way? Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 125]

everything else aside being a minor you are a liability to anybody you travel/squat/hang out with. i can relate to being bummed out about school, i dropped out when i was 16 and got a ged that same year and that was that as far as formal education goes. i dont regret it at all.

of course theres squats in jersey, theres squats everywhere but unfortunetly most of them arnt what you have in mind. there not cleaned up reclaimed houses with people cooking food and living together and getting along while not paying rent, they are crumbling houses full of homebums and junkies who dont give a fuck about anything and are most likely shitting in the fridge.

jersey has a great punk scene, try going to some shows and trying to meet people, i know its tough but saying hi to a stranger is alot easier then alot of things associated with running away.

 

[Archon Haz]

Hi messup! I'm from the jersey hellscape too. Well, it's probably not my place or ANYONE's to tell you what to do about the atrocity that is public school, I got kicked out of several myself, but wound up graduating and going to college for a while, and learning a bunch of stuff from (largely non-student) rad organizers / theory nerds there for a couple years before hitting the road... Welcome!


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I don't think you understood my post....

 

[blackcat]

Never been asked for proof of graduation. Also like some others said get a 2 dollar education at the library. Maybe you'll find out what you really wanna do in couple years. you can always get the ged, it's easy. Mostly multiple choice questions. Don't worry too much. But don't romanticise the road too much, because it will get real shitty at times. And you'll be meeting a lot of fucktards along the way but hey I geuss that's what you call adventure right. Things will fall into place. Find a friend and go for it if that's what wanna do. Good luck to you.

 

[Mankini]

http://www.diplomasandtranscripts.com/