101 Rejected Children's Book Titles

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#1
1. You are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife 'Greg'
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It" Book
6. The Kids Guide To Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Goto Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's It; I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets A Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
19. You were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes the Hamster, and Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper and your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
30. If It Feels Good, Touch It!
31. Making Grown-Up Friends on the Internet
32. 101 Fun Games to Play in the Road
33. You Can't Help It If You're Stupid
34. Patty Went Splat! (Don't YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
35. Bullies Deserve To Die
36. M The Big Book of Things to Put in Your Earommy's Got A New Baby to Love
37. I Dare You! 101 Challenges to Prove You're Not a Sissy
38. Timmy's The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend
39. Evil is an Artform
40. Jimmy is a Pyro
41. Jacking and Jilling: The Kid's Guide to Masturbation
42. What The Hell Is Mommy's Problem, Anyway?
43. The Mouse, the Motorcycle, and the Organ Donor Card
44. The Big Book of Things to Put in Your Ear
45. How to Write With Your Wee-Wee
46. What's That Bag For, Grandpa?
47. Tobacco Man vs. the FDA Gang
48. What Lucy Needs is Some Hot Monkey Love, Charlie Brown
49. Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Ms. LeTourneau's Class
50. Horton Hires A Ho
51. Where the Curly Red Fur Grows
52. Why Billy has two daddies.
53. Johnny's Adventure in the Medicine Cabinet
54. Why Mommy's Boyfriends Pay Her
55. Bicurious George and the Virus
56. Green Eggs and Ham: Atkins Diet for Kids
57. When Good Kids Tell
58. 101 Things Rich Kids Have
59. Human Anatomy: The Pop-up Edition
60. The Truth About Your Accidental Birth
61. Games to Play at Construction Sites
62. Why Mommy Cries
63. Real Animals that Eat Small Animals and Children
64. The President is Your Enemy
65. 99 Bad Things You Don't Want to Do
66. Why Some People Are Better Off Unborn
67. Just Say "No" To Your Parents
68. "Happy" The Skinhead Clown
69. The Kids Guide to Prescription Medication
70. Kick Scream Cry: How To Get What You Want
71. Clifford and The Big Yellow Semi
72. All Guns Squirt Water
73. You Can Get Sucked Down The Drain
74. Soap: How It Is Made and About That Pony You Always Wanted
75. 101 Uses For that Abandoned Refrigerator
76. Some Kitties Can Fly
77. Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
78. The Unabomber Pop-Up Manifesto and Coloring Book
79. 40 Whacks: Counting With Lizzie
80. Joe Camel and The Magic Little Stick
81. The Dummy's Guide to Crying
82. Divorce: What You Did to Cause It
83. Mommy is Pregnant: Who's Baby Is It?
84. How To Run Away From Home
85. Fun Four Letter Words to Know and Share
86. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
87. Touch Me There
88. My First Meth Lab
89. Shoplifting For Kids
90. Ann O'Rexic Is Already Too Fat
91. How To Spot Gay Classmates
92. Depression and Suicide
93. How To Make a Plastic Bag Space Helmet
94. Huffin' and Puffin': Fun With Aerosols
95. Hairdryers and Other Bathtime toys.
96. Your First Picture Book: Reading is for Losers
97. Playing Under the Kitchen Sink
98. Fun Experiments with Fire
99. Why Uncle Dave is In Bed With Daddy
100. That Burner's Not Hot and 99 Other Fun Pranks
101. Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, Jesus: The Truth Your Parents Never Told You
 

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