Dont Touch Me | Squat the Planet

Dont Touch Me

Mikael Runefoot

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Hey so I struggle. Yeah I was abused as a kid whatever. I got over it. Yes I have been raped in the past four years. Dont really give a shit. But it has caused problems for me when it comes to sex. Like yeah I can get hard by myself and i get horny and all that wonderful glorious stuf, but when it comes down to being with another guy, I truly dont enjoy myself and cant get hard. It would be a dream to just be with a sweet attractive guy who can understand this and be comfortable with if im trying to have sex and dont enjoy it for them to understand and not make me feel uncomfortable about it. Like Im not looking for Sympathy but I just get weirded out by being with someone else.
 

autumn

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My girlfriend has PTSD. I had PTSD. If someone is incapable of understanding or appreciating your issues, they are not worth your time. You need to find someone who is willing to move at your pace, has a solid grasp of consent, etc.

My girlfrend says:

Nobody tells you that the first time you successfully, enjoyably have sex again is empowering, and freeing, and overwhelming. Even if it only lasts two minutes, it will feel like an enormous victory. You will be happy in a way you weren’t sure you would be happy again. Sometimes it takes a while to feel wholly reunited with your body in this way, and you’re allowed to take all the time you need. Sexual exploration is a journey, not a destination.

Nobody tells you that it doesn’t work that way every time. Sometimes you will burrow down deep in your comforter and wish you could just be NORMAL and have NORMAL sex like a NORMAL person. And it is frustrating. But you will remember that one bad experience does not negate your ability to have future good experiences. And you will drink your tea and feel better.
 

EphemeralStick

Andie of the House of Queer
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Wow this one his close to home. I've gone through similar trauma and I paid out the ass for a year to try and get better.
It worked, more or less.
I found that therapy was extremely helpful for me. I used to be the kind of guy who could never sleep in the same room as another person, let alone in the same bed. I had one to many instances of guys doing shit to me while i slept. The only way I could have sex was to be borderline black out drunk.

This may sound harsh but you NEED to care about what's happened to you. I had bottled that shit down for so long it actually began to prevent me from having any sort of healthy relationship with any person, let alone a sexual partner. Obviously not everyone can afford therapy, I was lucky that I had an amazing job at the time. Everyone needs someone who understands to talk to.

You're not alone. PM me if you ever wanna talk.
 

Tude

Sometimes traveler is traveling.
Joined
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The fact that you're able to open up and talk about it is a good sign.

Michael is on the spot on here. {{HUGS}} I hope you find peace with this.
 

Mikael Runefoot

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 11, 2015
Messages
68
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74
Location
Philadelphia
My girlfriend has PTSD. I had PTSD. If someone is incapable of understanding or appreciating your issues, they are not worth your time. You need to find someone who is willing to move at your pace, has a solid grasp of consent, etc.

My girlfrend says:

Nobody tells you that the first time you successfully, enjoyably have sex again is empowering, and freeing, and overwhelming. Even if it only lasts two minutes, it will feel like an enormous victory. You will be happy in a way you weren’t sure you would be happy again. Sometimes it takes a while to feel wholly reunited with your body in this way, and you’re allowed to take all the time you need. Sexual exploration is a journey, not a destination.

Nobody tells you that it doesn’t work that way every time. Sometimes you will burrow down deep in your comforter and wish you could just be NORMAL and have NORMAL sex like a NORMAL person. And it is frustrating. But you will remember that one bad experience does not negate your ability to have future good experiences. And you will drink your tea and feel better.
This was beautifully written and made me feel alot better thank you man.
 

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