An interesting encounter... and how I learned to cuddle!


Our train moved slowly along the tracks that morning until we were about ten miles outside of Jeffersonville. Then it stopped. We waited in the boxcar for a few hours munching on bread and sun dried tomatoes. We had been in the swelteringly hot box car for almost five hours before Jakie decided to walk up to the front of the train and talk to the conductor. She came back almost forty-five minutes later, only to report that that there was no engine on our train anymore.

"Well, that was that," I said, hopping of the boxcar. It was obvious that we had taken a train to nowhere and had been left to bake in the sun for who knows how long. Time to hitchhike. We walked out to the nearest highway and started thumbing it. Most of the time I don't like hitchhiking because when you're with another guy, no one picks you up. But when you're with two very cute girls, it's a different story.

We stood on the onramp for about twenty minutes before a pickup truck with three very college-jock looking guys stopped and gave us a ride in their flatbed to a truck stop about twenty miles up the road. We got some food from the truckstop while Liz paid for a shower. I didn't even know truckstops had showers. The shower was supposed to only be for Liz, but we kept our showers short and snuck in after the other person was done. And a shower after sweating bullets in a boxcar for five hours was heaven.

We got a ride later from a trucker who must have been in his late sixties, with a slightly unfriendly scowl on his face. He didn't seem to be the ride-giving type. He drove us to Indianapolis, and smoked a joint with Liz in the front seat while Jakie insisted on cuddling with me in the back. I didn't object of course, and it was really... nice. In a non-sexual way. I had never done that before.

Night had hit by the time we got dropped off in Indianapolis. Jakie was walking around the truckstop on her stilts trying to get us a ride while Liz tended to the scarring that was starting to appear on her arms and stomach. After thinking about it for a while, we figured out that she had gotten poison oak from the rooftop we drank on in Louisville. Somehow, I didn't get it...

It was starting to get really bad too, and I teased her a little about it, calling her "leper girl" and went into the truckstop. I came back with some bandages and medicine, and patched her up. The bandages wound around her arms, now making her look like a mummy... by this time it was getting late, and we weren't have any luck with rides so we walked to a nearby tree farm and went to sleep.

We got a ride early the next morning and Jakie entertained the driver in the front seat while Liz and I cuddled up in the back of the trucker's cab. It felt nice to be holding someone that I had such a big crush on. I couldn't help admitting my crush to her, hoping she might feel the same way. It was really hard to say. In my past I had a lot of trouble with rejection I guess, but I told myself I wouldn't let it get me down this time.

"Well... um, I'm not really ...into guys." Liz said.

Oh. That was a little unexpected. But for the first time the rejection didn't phase me. "That's cool. Just friends then?"

"Totally,"

An hour later we were walking down one of the main boulevards of Chicago. Liz's poison oak was getting really bad now, and Jakie and I agreed that we should take her to the hospital. It was that bad.

The hospital was only a few blocks away when we walked by a tall, almost thirty year old skinny guy with shoulder length blond hair that I could have sworn I recognized from somewhere. "Was that Seth Tobocman?" I asked Liz.

Looking back, she called out, "Hey Seth!" He turned around, and walked back to us. Indeed it was him. I had seen his presentation of his comic strips at the PAZ conference a few days ago. We talked for a while and mentioned he was doing another presentation at a local anarchist community space tomorrow, the A-Zone. Seth said he had a few hours to spare and accompanied us to the hospital.

Jakie, Seth and myself sat in the waiting room while Liz got checked up. I knew Seth only from his book "We Don't Need To Fuck Each Other Over To Survive," his presentation a few days ago, and the various clips of artwork I had seen on almost a million punk/activist flyers. While we were waiting, the three of us had a lively conversation about my parents, and how I grew up in a private christian school. He didn't seem to want to talk about himself much, and seemed much more interested in my background than anything else. This really surprised me, as it was a far cry from the "enough about you, let's talk about me." hollywood culture I was accustomed to, even in L.A. activists scenes. I mentioned my attempt to 'radicalize' my conservative christian parent by giving them my copy of "Days of War, Nights of Love". Seth laughed loudly.

"I can't believe it! You gave them that book?! That's like handing them the book of satan." I laughed too. It was true. They didn't react well.

We later got on the subject of the privatization of schools. I described my experiences growing up in a private christian school and how I drew the parallels between the indoctrination involved in my school and those of privatized schools. Seth asked me to write about it for his magazine, World War III Illustrated. I had never heard of it, I didn't know what kind of magazine it was, and had no idea how I should go about writing it. Seth told me to just write what I knew. We had spent almost two hours in the waiting room, and Liz hadn't come back yet.

Finally, Seth stood and said, "Well, I got to go. I have to meet some friends in an hour. It's been nice talking to you Matt,"

"Likewise," I returned. He gave me his contact info and left. I never did write that article for him. I tried a few times, but just never got around to finishing it. I still feel like an asshole to this day about it. What can I say? I'm a dumbass.

Liz returned a few minutes after Seth left, with a prescription form and a hole in her arm. She pulled the old 'emergency room/no ID' trick and while they gave her a bunch of shit for not having her ID on her they treated her and billed it to the fake address she gave them. The doctor said it was the worst case of poison oak he'd ever seen.

We left the hospital and took the bus to Jakie's friend's house. There we relaxed and got Jakie high for the first time (which was hilarious)! The three of us lay curled up on the bed, Jakie to my left and Liz to my right and we just spent the day holding each other and talking.

"So how's it feel to have two girls in bed with you at once?" Liz asked. I laughed.

"Um, pretty good I guess. I figure I should enjoy it while it lasts, because I don't think it's likely to happen again." I smiled.

"Oh come on, you're a pretty cute guy." replied Liz. Jakie agreed.

"Oh... really? I don't hear that very often..." I said, looking away. I didn't notice the sadness in my voice. Jakie and Liz did.

They looked at each other with an "Awwwww!" and hugged me. I meant it though. I always thought of myself as an ugly person not worthy of affection from other people. All the women I had cared about to that point seemed to reaffirm that belief and my perception of body image was so bad that I avoided looking in the mirror...

It was the first time anyone had ever paid attention to me in such a loving (but completely friendly) way. A few months later Liz would later ask me how I could deal with being so starved for affection. I didn't have an answer.

But hearing those words from two girls that I had met only a few days prior and seemed to care about me so much really helped how I felt about myself that day. I guess a few encouraging words can make all the difference in the world.

By the time the sun set, I was so relaxed someone should have checked to see if I had a pulse.

We took the bus that night to the A-Zone to see Seth's presentation. It was just as impressive the second time around (the first being at the PAZ conference). Try picturing his comic strips put to scary music and being read through a megaphone.

After the show, we ran into another one of Jakie's friends that let us crash at her apartment. I smoked some hash with Liz, a first for me, and we spent the night in a group cuddle session on the couch she had built, a huge leather uterus. That's right. You heard me. Complete with fallopian tubes and ovaries for pillows. I thought it was pretty fucking cool.

We left the next morning, and the three of us stood outside the apartment. "You should come with us..." said Jakie. I wanted so badly to go, but I couldn't. My friend Tasha was driving from Michigan to Minneapolis and she was expecting me to be at the A-Zone soon.

"I'll see you guys in Philly in a few weeks, okay?" I said. They gave me a tight squeeze, said goodbye, and walked to the freeway. I missed them already... I walked back to the A-Zone and waited for Tasha to pick me up.

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