An interesting encounter... and how I learned to cuddle!
Our train moved slowly along the tracks that morning
until we were about ten miles outside of Jeffersonville.
Then it stopped. We waited in the boxcar for a few
hours munching on bread and sun dried tomatoes. We
had been in the swelteringly hot box car for almost
five hours before Jakie decided to walk up to the
front of the train and talk to the conductor. She
came back almost forty-five minutes later, only to
report that that there was no engine on our train
anymore.
"Well, that was that," I
said, hopping of the boxcar. It was obvious that we
had taken a train to nowhere and had been left to
bake in the sun for who knows how long. Time to hitchhike.
We walked out to the nearest highway and started thumbing
it. Most of the time I don't like hitchhiking because
when you're with another guy, no one picks you up.
But when you're with two very cute girls, it's a different
story.
We stood on the onramp for about twenty
minutes before a pickup truck with three very college-jock
looking guys stopped and gave us a ride in their flatbed
to a truck stop about twenty miles up the road. We
got some food from the truckstop while Liz paid for
a shower. I didn't even know truckstops had showers.
The shower was supposed to only be for Liz, but we
kept our showers short and snuck in after the other
person was done. And a shower after sweating bullets
in a boxcar for five hours was heaven.
We got a ride later from a trucker
who must have been in his late sixties, with a slightly
unfriendly scowl on his face. He didn't seem to be
the ride-giving type. He drove us to Indianapolis,
and smoked a joint with Liz in the front seat while
Jakie insisted on cuddling with me in the back. I
didn't object of course, and it was really... nice.
In a non-sexual way. I had never done that before.
Night had hit by the time we got dropped
off in Indianapolis. Jakie was walking around the
truckstop on her stilts trying to get us a ride while
Liz tended to the scarring that was starting to appear
on her arms and stomach. After thinking about it for
a while, we figured out that she had gotten poison
oak from the rooftop we drank on in Louisville. Somehow,
I didn't get it...
It was starting to get really bad
too, and I teased her a little about it, calling her
"leper girl" and went into the truckstop.
I came back with some bandages and medicine, and patched
her up. The bandages wound around her arms, now making
her look like a mummy... by this time it was getting
late, and we weren't have any luck with rides so we
walked to a nearby tree farm and went to sleep.
We got a ride early the next morning
and Jakie entertained the driver in the front seat
while Liz and I cuddled up in the back of the trucker's
cab. It felt nice to be holding someone that I had
such a big crush on. I couldn't help admitting my
crush to her, hoping she might feel the same way.
It was really hard to say. In my past I had a lot
of trouble with rejection I guess, but I told myself
I wouldn't let it get me down this time.
"Well... um, I'm not really ...into
guys." Liz said.
Oh. That was a little unexpected.
But for the first time the rejection didn't phase
me. "That's cool. Just friends then?"
"Totally,"
An hour later we were walking down
one of the main boulevards of Chicago. Liz's poison
oak was getting really bad now, and
Jakie and I agreed that we should take her to the
hospital. It was that bad.
The hospital was only a few blocks
away when we walked by a tall, almost thirty year
old skinny guy with shoulder length blond hair that
I could have sworn I recognized from somewhere. "Was
that Seth Tobocman?" I asked Liz.
Looking back, she called out, "Hey
Seth!" He turned around, and walked back to us.
Indeed it was him. I had seen his presentation of
his comic strips at the PAZ conference a few days
ago. We talked for a while and mentioned he was doing
another presentation at a local anarchist community
space tomorrow, the A-Zone. Seth said he had a few
hours to spare and accompanied us to the hospital.
Jakie, Seth and myself sat in the
waiting room while Liz got checked up. I knew Seth
only from his book "We Don't Need To Fuck Each
Other Over To Survive," his presentation a few
days ago, and the various clips of artwork I had seen
on almost a million punk/activist flyers. While we
were waiting, the three of us had a lively conversation
about my parents, and how I grew up in a private christian
school. He didn't seem to want to talk about himself
much, and seemed much more interested in my background
than anything else. This really surprised me, as it
was a far cry from the "enough about you, let's
talk about me." hollywood culture I was accustomed
to, even in L.A. activists scenes. I mentioned my
attempt to 'radicalize' my conservative christian
parent by giving them my copy of "Days of War,
Nights of Love". Seth laughed loudly.
"I can't believe it! You gave
them that book?! That's like handing
them the book of satan." I laughed too. It was
true. They didn't react well.
We later got on the subject of the
privatization of schools. I described my experiences
growing up in a private christian school and how I
drew the parallels between the indoctrination involved
in my school and those of privatized schools. Seth
asked me to write about it for his magazine, World
War III Illustrated. I had never heard of it, I didn't
know what kind of magazine it was, and had no idea
how I should go about writing it. Seth told me to
just write what I knew. We had spent almost two hours
in the waiting room, and Liz hadn't come back yet.
Finally, Seth stood and said, "Well,
I got to go. I have to meet some friends in an hour.
It's been nice talking to you Matt,"
"Likewise," I returned.
He gave me his contact info and left. I never did
write that article for him. I tried a few times, but
just never got around to finishing it. I still feel
like an asshole to this day about it. What can I say?
I'm a dumbass.
Liz returned a few minutes after Seth
left, with a prescription form and a hole in her arm.
She pulled the old 'emergency room/no ID' trick and
while they gave her a bunch of shit for not having
her ID on her they treated her and billed it to the
fake address she gave them. The doctor said it was
the worst case of poison oak he'd ever seen.
We left the hospital and took the
bus to Jakie's friend's house. There we relaxed and
got Jakie high for the first time (which was hilarious)!
The three of us lay curled up on the bed, Jakie to
my left and Liz to my right and we just spent the
day holding each other and talking.
"So how's it feel to have two
girls in bed with you at once?" Liz asked. I
laughed.
"Um, pretty good I guess. I figure
I should enjoy it while it lasts, because I don't
think it's likely to happen again." I smiled.
"Oh come on, you're a pretty
cute guy." replied Liz. Jakie agreed.
"Oh... really? I don't hear that
very often..." I said, looking away. I didn't
notice the sadness in my voice. Jakie and Liz did.
They looked at each other with an
"Awwwww!" and hugged me. I meant it though.
I always thought of myself as an ugly person not worthy
of affection from other people. All the women I had
cared about to that point seemed to reaffirm that
belief and my perception of body image was so bad
that I avoided looking in the mirror...
It was the first time anyone had
ever paid attention to me in such a loving (but completely
friendly) way. A few months later Liz would later
ask me how I could deal with being so starved for
affection. I didn't have an answer.
But hearing those words from two girls
that I had met only a few days prior and seemed to
care about me so much really helped how I felt about
myself that day. I guess a few encouraging words can
make all the difference in the world.
By the time the sun set, I was so
relaxed someone should have checked to see if I had
a pulse.
We took the bus that night to the
A-Zone
to see Seth's presentation. It was just as impressive
the second time around (the first being at the PAZ
conference). Try picturing his comic strips put to
scary music and being read through a megaphone.
After the show, we ran into another
one of Jakie's friends that let us crash at her apartment.
I smoked some hash with Liz, a first for me, and we
spent the night in a group cuddle session on the couch
she had built, a huge leather uterus. That's right.
You heard me. Complete with fallopian tubes and ovaries
for pillows. I thought it was pretty fucking cool.
We left the next morning, and the
three of us stood outside the apartment. "You
should come with us..." said Jakie. I wanted
so badly to go, but I couldn't. My friend Tasha was
driving from Michigan to Minneapolis and she was expecting
me to be at the A-Zone soon.
"I'll see you guys in Philly
in a few weeks, okay?" I said. They gave me a
tight squeeze, said goodbye, and walked to the freeway.
I missed them already... I walked back to the A-Zone
and waited for Tasha to pick me up.
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